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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Found a message on dh's phone, am gutted and don't know what to think - advise needed before I jump in the deep end

98 replies

DontKnowWhatToBelieve · 03/12/2010 23:42

I have namechanged Sad

I don't know what made me look (I don't usually) but I looked at dh's messages on his phone this evening.

There's a message off an 'unknown' number saying "hey babe u free 2night im horny and want u inside me" It was sent at 9:09 this morning. I'm devastated Sad

I would never, ever ever believe that dh would be unfaithful. And actually, I'm not sure I still do. We don't have a great sex life, that much I have to admit, and I suppose that is what is worrying me. But I really really can't ever see that he would cheat on me.

Apart from anything else, he works so hard (outdoors, in all weathers) and he is home regularly every evening. He very rarely goes out, and I really can't see how he would have the time to cheat, even if he wanted to - which again, I really don't think he would.

Or am I being incredibly naive?

He's in bed right now, so I can't ask him, but how would I ask anyway because he'd know that I had been looking at his phone Sad

Please give me some advise - I'm devastated Sad

OP posts:
Dansmommy · 04/12/2010 00:29

Have you googled the actual phone number? Seriously, do it!

tomhardyismydh · 04/12/2010 00:29

google the number I bet its a premium rate number it happens to lots of people just like spam email.

he's probaly pissed off you looked at his phone but he'll get over it. dont over react to it. maybe he is being a bit off as he may have looked at an internet site via his phone that may have resulted in retriving his number and he wouldnt want to tell you that.

Original poster
DontKnowWhatToBelieve · 04/12/2010 00:30

It just gives me lists of phone numbers and sites such as aboutnumbers.com

It doesn't link to hotlines or anything ...

OP posts:
judasisacarrot · 04/12/2010 00:33

like i said earlier, it may well have been a randy housewife who has typed the wrong number. poor boyfriend is going without tonight now as he didn't get the message.

go to bed, cuddle up and apologise for being a nosey mare. im sure he'll get over it soon enough.

ChippingIn · 04/12/2010 00:33

Why not just ring it from your phone? What the worst that can happen? It costs you a few quid to find out?

Original poster
DontKnowWhatToBelieve · 04/12/2010 00:34

I hope so! Thanks all

OP posts:
Original poster
DontKnowWhatToBelieve · 04/12/2010 00:36

No, I really don't want to do that chipping - especially since he has said it's nothing, I'd feel like, I don't know what i'd feel like acually - I just can't do it ...

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 04/12/2010 00:37

Give it to me - I'll do it.

BitOfFun · 04/12/2010 00:38

Do it,let Chippy ring!

Original poster
DontKnowWhatToBelieve · 04/12/2010 00:38

Seriously?

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 04/12/2010 00:39

She'll tell them what despicable twats they are.

judasisacarrot · 04/12/2010 00:39

nah let me. if it is a sex line i'll have some fun Grin

KittyFloss · 04/12/2010 00:39

Can't you just ring the number and see what happens, if it's spam you will know. Honestly sometimes curiosity does kill the cat. I have "found" things about dp that turned out to be bollocks. I looked like a mistrustfull twat (which I am), he went to great lengths to prove he was innocent Blush.

I still don't trust him tbh, but thats because he does lie. about stupid things Hmm.

ChippingIn · 04/12/2010 00:39

No bother.

I don't care who is at the other end... or what time it is. If they are sending messages like that it's either a 'phone thing' or some tart who deserves to be woken up!

ChippingIn · 04/12/2010 00:40

Let Judas - she'll do a much better job of it!

catsinthebelfry · 04/12/2010 00:42

I've had two or three random texts like this. I'm married, female, hetero etc etc. Things like "you were sexy tonight babe". oh right, that'll be the checkout girl at Tescos who got my number then???? Or another random one very late one night saying "what about you?". Maybe that was a wrong number, who cares? I haven't ever replied or said "er, i don't think you mean me". I think it was trop who said earlier it's like all the email spam, I have endless ones of these too. When I've had these, I don't mention them to DH, I just think they're rubbish and not even worth a though, so he prob wouldn't comment. This really really won't be an issue, I expect he'll forget you looked at his phone, and anyway, why shouldn't you?

judasisacarrot · 04/12/2010 00:42

plus i sound like a man

BitOfFun · 04/12/2010 00:42

This is where the PM function comes into its own- tell one of us the number and we will have vengeance!

Original poster
DontKnowWhatToBelieve · 04/12/2010 00:43

...but what will you say?

...what if it's genuine?

OP posts:
catsinthebelfry · 04/12/2010 00:43

in the spirit of Mumsnet.

No disrespect to Tescos checkout girls.

judasisacarrot · 04/12/2010 00:45

i'll just ring the number, and say hi horney, my cocks ready if you are.

they'll either play along if its a sex line, put the phone down, or scream WTF WHO ARE YOU, with which i can say that i recieved a text earlier today and so i was responding. she will get embarrassed at having sent it to the wrong number and apologise.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 04/12/2010 00:46

spam

ChippingIn · 04/12/2010 00:46

I tell you what - PM it to Judas, give her the first shot. If we find out it's some slapper with designs on your DH we will all ring the bitch and put her straight.

KittyFloss · 04/12/2010 00:46

Just let her do it don't know, at least then you will know.

Trop · 04/12/2010 00:47

Its going to be spam, so just ring it or let someone else do it.

Then you can apologise for being nosey (it was there and you were playing) and make up like you know you want to! Grin

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