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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What a mess

139 replies

glitterfairy · 22/09/2005 05:26

THis will be long so many apologies.

To start at the beginning of my story I have been married for 16 years and have known my dh for 28. He was my first proper boyfriend at 15 and when we split up we remained friends throughout our teenage years.

We have had a very up and down marriage. He has had many violent and difficult tantrums including putting a brick through a window on top of me and my 1 year old when I locked him out when we were rowing and throwing things at me. At one point he was also hitting our son too much round the head but stopped that one year ago when I said I would leave if he did it again. He has kicked my puppy down the stairs and hurt its leg etc etc. He has also always supported me in my choice of career even when that has meant a drop in income and has never been jealous or obstructive of friends or going out. We have three fantastic children of 9,10 and 6.

Yet something has been missing for some time and three years ago I started an affair with my business partner who is kind, gentle, loves me dearly and is married with one ds aged 9. He does however have a past as a womaniser and finds that aspect of his character difficult to control.

During the affair I blossomed and became more confident again and as my dh said started to look after myself again and re gain my identity. I suffered incredible guilt and stopped the affair on many occassions.

My dh found out at christmas and chucked me out of the house. We then got back together again and I stopped the affair. My mother was living with us and things were very hard. He spent a lot of time abroad and I missed him desperately. When he first came back from one of his trps though he had changed back to the unpleasant man who was uncaring. My Aunt had died in his absence and he asked me to get rid of my mother as I was not speaking to her at the time. It was all very stressful and at my Aunts funeral my brother remarked that he could have punched dh because of his total lack of support for me and his offish manner.

Since then I re started my affair. It is hard to resist a wonderful person whom I also work with. Then Dh found out again and this time things were worse. I stopped the affair and we went to Venice to try to resolve the issue we also started marriage guidance. We decided to give the marriage 6 months and to try our best to make a go of it.

I have worked very hard to reform and our counsellor has said to both of us that I have done so in the face of hosility and anger (this has included a return to some violence in my dh).

It got so bad that I suggested a trial separation and this started two weeks ago. I have since found out that he started a relationship with our dentist and the results of that have been on the glitterfairy support thread.

THe gist of this is that at on Monday after I found out I called the police because he assualted me in front of our kids and they made him leave. He has moved in with his new girlfriend and is now behaving very badly.

I tried to have the locks changed and he came back and stopped the man from doing it. He works from home sometimes and has insisted on being here every day. He has told the kids about new woman and has said they ahve prepared rooms for them at her house and are looking forward to seeing them there. He has said she is fascinating to them and that he is happier than he has ever been. He has also told them that she makes him laugh and I dont etc etc.

Whilst I think the marriage hs been over for some time or at least getting there I am extremely shocked and hurt at the way he has behaved.

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beetroot · 29/09/2005 09:04

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glitterfairy · 29/09/2005 10:56

Dh feels that on Monday I hurled a suitacse full of clothes at him and two bin bags full of clothes and he was afraid and at risk. He then entered the house and pushed me against the wall to restrain me from hurting him further. Ds used the words restrain a clear give away.

It is typical of an abusive man that he ensures everyone hears his story. What I had said to ds was that mummy and daddy had a fight which was wrong and we must never do it again. DH has told me he didnt want ds thinking he attacked mummy which is exactly what the poor little thing saw.

As I have said for a "nice" middle class man with a strong sense of values to admit such a thing is very nearly unthinkable and would require a level of insight which dh is not capable of in any circumstances let alone these ones.

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Jackstini · 29/09/2005 18:41

Ooooh GF - he is sounding more and more of a shit to me. Everything you say about his behaviour and attitude just makes me sick! I can understand how you can't trust someone so devious and spiteful. Until he can leave the kids out of this nastiness he is just being a coward - not admitting his faluts and trying to cover his own are. Next time you even think of sha*ing him, remember this incident - that should turn you off enough to say no!

glitterfairy · 30/09/2005 05:15

DOnt worry jackstini it has and hs made me so angry I cannot see a way back now.

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blackcoffee · 30/09/2005 08:57

my dp also pillar of society has done similar in the past.
Am beginning to realise there is no good way back. Children are better off away from it

beetroot · 30/09/2005 09:05

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glitterfairy · 30/09/2005 15:26

I am still so confused though and think he is too. We are taking them all out together tonight to the theatre.

Blackcoffee, have you left now?

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kim5145 · 30/09/2005 16:08

Oh my god...you poor girl!
I dont blame you for the affair, I would of left along time ago! Dont feel guilty about it. If you love the guy you had an affair with, cant you make it work? I would go to the police and get a restraining order on you ex hubby. If that doesnt work have you ever thought of moving in with your new fella? I really feel sorry for you darling. You need to tell your kids what he has done to you, you dont want them to hear lies for their dad.

glitterfairy · 01/10/2005 09:23

THe guy I had the affair with is married and I am not sure that is such a good idea.

I am slowly working through the ending of this one but it is messy and taking time. I think there will be steps back as well as forwards.

I have had a breif chat about the incident last monday with the kids now when they rbought it up again and asked them what they had seen. My Ds had seen my dh attack me and that was all. I said that me and dh had different views on what had happened and that daddy was sorry for his behaviour. I also said that parents should not fight and that I had been hurt and angry and upset. I do not think that embroiling them in the ins and outs is very helpful and they just need to know that we are both sorry it happened in front of them and that we will make it ok and that there happiness comes first.

We have said that any further decisions about our home or the circumstances in which we live will be discussed with them as well and we will ask them what it is they want. This is not to say that we will either give them everything they want or that we will have bickering in front of them but I want them to feel they have some control over their lives as well because I think at the moment they feel out of control and desperate that decisions are being made which affect them and in which they have no say.

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beetroot · 01/10/2005 13:43

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glitterfairy · 02/10/2005 15:22

I agree Beets but they also need to be able to have their say and their feelings taken into account. It is a fine line.

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ninah · 03/10/2005 10:30

no but I am in a similar predicament
My thread is called on the brink my regular name is ninah xx

ninah · 03/10/2005 10:30

I mean I am blackcoffee

ggglimpopo · 03/10/2005 10:34

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beetroot · 03/10/2005 13:12

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glitterfairy · 03/10/2005 14:39

Yes my relate book says they like to have some involvement though as well which is why I started this.

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beetroot · 03/10/2005 23:29

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glitterfairy · 04/10/2005 18:08

OK Beets has said I must do this so I am giong to.

I have agreed that I will share dh with new woman adn I can have relationships too with other men. No one I know thinks this is a good idea and say he has manipulated me into this position so that he can have his cake and eat it with icing on top. He is coming home three nights a week and we are still having every other weekend off.

I am really really confused. Am going home to him tonight and feel awful. A close friend says he would like to see me go five days without crying and feeling I have to give in to dh. He says things like do I want my kids with a new stepmother and I cant bear it.

I feel like I cannot not see him because then I am denying him access to his house his place of work and his kids. I am seeing a solicitor on thursday and the womens centre on Monday and relate tomorrow oh and staying with beety for counselling this weekend. So hopefully will have sorted out my head by next week a bit more. I need to know what my rights are adn I need help to stop him being able to reduce me to a puddle of jelly.

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hhhhenleyonthames · 04/10/2005 18:13

Please don't go down the open marriage route glitterfairy.

I think that it always leads to heartache on the part of one of those involved.

There is something sordid and tawdry about it that makes the word "family" meaningless.

I v briefly considered it 'for the sake of the children' and then I decided the children and I were worth more than being the default second choice for their father.

noddyholder · 04/10/2005 18:15

That sounds worse to me than a complete split He is putting the 2 of you up against each other and I personally would want to be number 1 or nothing He is having his cake tbh think ahead what will this do to your self esteem?not to mention the size of his ego Let him go for now if you can

ponygirl · 04/10/2005 18:16

Oh gf this sounds like the worst of all worlds for you. And what about your children? What messages are you sending to them?! Please don't do this.

glitterfairy · 04/10/2005 18:18

Thanks for that henley!

I am going to think long and hard but not rock the boat tonight. You are right it is a travesty of a family. It is though how his family was for a while and I think that is what the problem is.

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glitterfairy · 04/10/2005 18:19

The children wont know anything about it though

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munz · 04/10/2005 18:21

GF - honney please don't go the open marrige route - u deserve all or nothing not half measures. he does want it all - and you're just gonna have to tell him he can't have it both ways. - it's not healthy for u or your children this way - I think he's the only one who' going to gain from this set up. and thats not fair on u and the children.

u have the strenght to do what u need to do, just gotta find it deep down and think about what's right for u - forget DH what's best for you and your children - a part time dad who has his ckae and eats it - he's probably happy but u propbably won't be, or a mum and dad who are seperated but are both happy.

your call honney but think seriously about it - can you knowingly share him like that?

hhhhenleyonthames · 04/10/2005 18:23

But they will - they will figure it out. They always do.

My dd (9) came home from a party the other day and she said "Camille is lucky. She's got two daddies and they both live with her mummy and she chooses which daddy is her favourite. Before her two daddies had different houses but it got too difficult".

Then there was a little silence and she said "The only problem is that the real daddy is very ugly"