Lessons my father taught me ------

[Vagabond]

.......but I was too obstinate and "cool" to listen to.

My father always taught me that if a man ever shows the slightest bit of disinterest in you, walk away. If he doesn't call you or doesn't try to make plans to see you again, forget him. I used to think he didn't understand!!! I used to think he didn't get it. Turns out nothing has changed in 60 years when it comes to love and courtship.
If a man truly loves you, he'll find a way.
Don't make excuses for a man not calling you. If he wants to be with you, he'll do his damnest to be with you.

My dad (american) told me that if I wanted to be a stay at home mother baking cookies etc than that is wonderful. But he also told me to make sure that I have a good education behind me and a marketable skill as well just in case I need to ever support a couple of kids, myself and pay a mortgage without the help of an ex. He told me this when I was 15.

He used to work in a bank and saw lots of abandoned wives losing their homes etc. Their husbands walked out and a lot of these wives had been stay at home mums with no job skills etc for 20 years.

So when their husbands dumped them and went out of state with the new OW whilst refusing to pay child support they were screwed. They went from being in nice homes to living in trailers with holes in the roof very quickly.

It was good advice. I have always kept my foot in the door career wise by working very part time.... even when I had 3 dc under the age of 5. Dh hasn't traded me in for a new model yet but if he does I am prepared.

Don't let people down - if you say you're going to do something, bloody well do it. :)

odd ways to solve maths problems (that work in mine and my Dad's brain alone )

To appreciate Spike Milligan/The Goons

Oh.. and how to be a whinging miserable git even though life has treated you extremely well.

It's better to keep quiet and let people think you might be stupid, rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt

To be unfailingly kind and polite (other than British Gas call snetre but thats an apocryphal family story

Table manners

That girls and boys are equal

the pleasure of books

all I knwo about trees, the counryside and birds

The value of a good education

Marriage is built on respect and friendship (48years(

Never ever undermine your partner in issues of childcare

Take the B road and see where it takes you

That you contribute to cimmunity it doesn't owe you anything

He's a star and truly decent man and now has dementia and parkinsons.........its so unfair

To sit up straight at the table.
That someone in the world would always laugh at my jokes
To love songs, singing and dancing.
To look forward and stay interested in the future of the world.

That bringing every conversation back to yourself is unbelievably boring (it's all he EVER DOES)
That if something is too good to be true - it is
That your prejudices will inevitably hurt you even more than they hurt the people you are prejudiced against.

That poverty will bring out the worst in many people

That if everyone likes you, you're a wimp who needs to take a stand more often.

Trailmix I'm taking that one with me.

My dad taught me that relationships are about mutual love and respect, where you care about each other, where family comes first and you work together to make the best for your family. Even when times are tough, money is low, and redundancy takes you by surprise, you priorities your family needs and pay your bills and be frugal in times of short change. Expensive games consoles and designed labels are not a necessity

My dad taught me that domestic chores were equal, that men do not come home put their feet up and expect their wife to run around after them. My dad taught me that marriage is a life time commitment and a partnership where you look out for each other and problems are solved by communicating.

My dad taught me that even though he does not always agree with me on things, that he will never stop loving me, and family love is unconditional. Most of all when my mum died in 2007 my dad showed us it was okay to cry a lot and be open about your feelings because then, people can care for you when you are down x

that humility does not mean you become everyone's doormat..

i spent the whole day thinking about my father,whom i am going to see in three weeks time and i will hug him ,tell him i love him and thank him again for a job done well,he raised me proper and i will be forever grateful...he is amazing..

Always be polite.

Never ever think you are better than anyone because of what they do for a living/their background. Everyone deserves courtesy.

Try everything once.

Always put a pound extra in the parking meter just in case.

er...that I am fat and ugly...I'm not...he thought it was funny to say that. Fucking haha. That is why I have never been able to take Vagabond's dad's advice to this day, although I deeply admire women that do.

Good thread...and good advice for my dd who is beautiful and adorable...no matter how she fucks up...grrrr!

if you really want something you will work and work until you get it

that no amount of money is equal to the love of your friends and family

whenever life knocks you down pick yourself up and get on with it

only i am responsible for my happiness it is up to me to change whatever i dont like about my life

my dad is an amazing man who is my inspiration in all the good things i do i am extremely lucky to have him

Am also very :( for the people with crap dads.

LifeofRiley, my dad used that one too. "Be good. If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful, be lucky. If you can't be lucky, well then...name it after me." :o He said it jokingly as he was 18 when my older brother was born, five months after he and my mother were married. He used to call my brother and me "Little Serendipity", and when I found out it meant "a great fortune stumbled across by accident" during a vocabulary lesson when I was nine, well, it was the first time I cried from being happy. It was the first time I really felt how much he loved us.

And I did name my DS after him. :)

I have two dads. (one step) they have both had very difficult childhoods, and not very easy lives. With the exception of the perils of excessive alcohol, I couldn't name any actual lesson they taught me, but I know I love them both very much.

Scrap that last post, they have both taught me something... Forgiveness.

That men are always going to let you down in the end.

How to drive, change a tyre and change the oil.
All kinds of DIY and that you should take time over these things to get them right.
How to start a campfire and catch and gut a fish.
Looking back - no wonder I was such a tomboy!

That when my mum goes off on one, it is simpler to nod, smile and say "Yes dear" than argue.

That no matter how tough life gets, you should pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get on with it. Moaning about how depressed you are solves nothing.

That if you have a dog you MUST walk him twice a day even in blizzards and storms!

I love this thread. It's really made me realise what a great dad I have.

That material success doesn't matter as much as contentment in your work - he gave up a well paid career for teaching, and never had a promotion above being an ordinary class room teacher, but loved his work. Never to undermine or criticise the other parent, whatever you really think (my mother is an extremely trying woman). To do your fair share - or more - around the house without complaining. (He always did.). He is a lovely, kind man, of great integrity. However, he is also somewhat emotionally constipated, and not a great seizer of opportunities, so I have tried not to be like him in those respects. I realise I am very lucky, and very sorry for all those who have had horrible experiences at the hands of their fathers.

How to read (thank you v much for that one)

That to be the best you have to work the hardest (I don't often follow that, but it is true).

That life goes by very quickly when you're a grown up (true)

Elephants: Surely not! The case for the defence starts <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=treesong.org/files/images/freddie-mercury.jpg&imgrefurl=treesong.org/node/242&usg=_U4Xk28gtwKaWESKh-5MXskp-8E=&h=427&w=309&sz=38&hl=en&start=0&sig2=SmGmMSmZCEJQ1rjy44mL5g&zoom=1&tbnid=IUG6vRHlR4jMkM:&tbnh=132&tbnw=94&ei=_JHrTM-dPIHI4Aa59qR4&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfreddie%2Bmercury%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26channel%3Ds%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D549%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=544&vpy=185&dur=383&hovh=264&hovw=191&tx=78&ty=149&oei=2JHrTOnlNIGyhAfTqe2lAQ&esq=5&page=1&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:12,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here

A mixed bag here as well. MY dad seems better than he actually was just because my mum was so barking.

I do love him, and enjoy talking to him, but I've got to go with one of the bad points:

...that some men expect women to be ten times more intelligent than men (I've got 4 brothers), ten times more responsible, ten times more successful, ten times more good and kind... just in order to be treated with a minimum modicum of respect. Women who fall below the 10X rule (in his eyes) are automatically deemed worthless...

That it doesn't matter how well you do, you'll never be good enough.

How to lie and dissemble, because otherwise all you would ever get to do would be to sit rigid on the sofa in silence with your hands folded.

On the plus side, he taught me how to recognise a jealous, angry, insecure, mentally abusive man, that these sort of men don't change, and to run for the hills should I ever encounter one. But I kind of worked that out for myself.

Oh, and how to clean & change spark plugs.

However, by determinedly doing the opposite of whatever he decreed, I have a lovely life :)