Lessons my father taught me ------

[Vagabond]

.......but I was too obstinate and "cool" to listen to.

My father always taught me that if a man ever shows the slightest bit of disinterest in you, walk away. If he doesn't call you or doesn't try to make plans to see you again, forget him. I used to think he didn't understand!!! I used to think he didn't get it. Turns out nothing has changed in 60 years when it comes to love and courtship.
If a man truly loves you, he'll find a way.
Don't make excuses for a man not calling you. If he wants to be with you, he'll do his damnest to be with you.

what a mixed thread

some great dads, wish I had one

some crap dads

my dad was the latter, he taught me only damaging lessons

my dc's dad though, has overturned that cycle, I am very pleased to say

my dad has taught me a good few things.

the first was don't raise your head above the parapit or it will get kicked.

the second is that people can really honestly change. He is adifferent man. Gentle and kind and I can hardly believe he is the same man that I grew up knowing.

My Dad taught me how a true gentleman behaves. He also taught me how to have a good rousing debate, and how to disagree on a subject without falling out.

He introduced me to Star Trek and CS Lewis and Asimov and Music, which became the love of my life.

He is one of the best men I have ever known - and he looks like Father Christmas :)

That I am worthy of his unconditional love and I could never disappointment him.

And 'Don't tell your bloody Mother anything!'

Things my father taught me...

that the male of the species is to be obeyed at all times...that I am worthless...to stop laughing as I would be crying in a minute...to choose partners who are just like him in all sorts of ways....that I was lucky to be born a girl, as had I been a boy I would have been killed by him by now (as my mother informed me at 12)....

HOWEVER...he also taught me to be self-sufficient....to be afraid of nothing and no-one ( as nothing can possibly be as frightening as he was)....to rely on myself for all things...that all things shall pass....to be a good parent, the opposite of him...

Of course he had no idea he was teaching me the latter lessons, they are a side effect of the former.

That when I grow up and I have a house of my own, sit on orange boxes if I cannot afford to buy a sofa. Never borrow money to buy things like that.

Save up and buy things outright. If friends come round and sit on the orange boxes and then come back they are real friends. If they sneer - drop them like a hotbrick.

He was sooo right out that - newly married and living in a grotty flat with grotty furniture proved the point beautifully. Some people are such snobs.

Also that your children come before everything. I miss him.

:( Anyfucker

disappoint ffs

I didn't meet my father 'til I was almost 16. I cut all ties with him a few years later.

The only thing he taught me was to stay clear of men like him!

That having a rubbish father doesn't mean you have to be a rubbish father yourself, as he is a great dad and his own father was truly horrible. This gave me the confidence to marry DH who is a brilliant father and husband.

That I am very precious to him. He didn't just say it but he showed it in lots of ways. He took three hours out of an incredibly busy working week when I was a teenager to drive me to a music lesson, and I still think about lots of the things we talked about on the journey. The time we spent then has paid so many dividends in who I am now.

That money is not important to who you are. He never considered us to be poor, even though we were not well off compared to the people we were living amongst. He assured us that we had everything we really needed - which we did.

That he is extremely proud of my academic achievements, especially since he never had the opportunities he provided for me.

That he is just as proud of me now being a SAHM, and that he thinks I do a very demanding and thankless job very well. I don't but I love that he thinks it.

Always to question what you are told by the people in charge (teachers, politicians, religious leaders).

A moustache is a man's way of telling you that he is an utter twat :o

Protest is always worthwhile - even if you can't stop something bad from happening, history will remember that not everyone went blindly along with it.

Always bear in mind that children are just smaller people, talk to them like grown-ups and they will love you.

GettingAGrip... for you too

How to argue effectively.

How to enter a room with confidence.

How to behave in a 'formal' setting. (Which didn't come in handy until MUCH later in my life, but was actually quite important career wise.)

How to enjoy all sorts of food and drink.

And - like Templemaidens DF, he introduced me to various sorts of music, films and books. I have a great memory of sitting on his knee watching Dr Who, when I would have been 4/5, with him cutting a apple to bits with a pen knife and us sharing it.

He also taught me the value of 'letting go' your DC. I was a much loved only child, but wasn't smothered. I was allowed to have boyfriends up to my room all evening at 15, and he would come up with a tray of drinks and snacks for us....treading VERY LOUDLY up the stairs and clearing his throat before knocking on the door

Also - re: ponytails on men - underneath every tail you will find an arsehole

That being born with the female reproductive system means that you are never to be taken very seriously. That even the most unreasonable behaviour from a man will be made excuses for by a willing woman. Have my mother to thank for that one, though.

Suncottage - I heard a variation on that recently "underneath every pony tail is a horse's arse". :o

My dad also introduced me to all kinds of music. I pay back the favour now :)

i think i have had some lovely man in my life.

my hero,my dad taught me what true love is without saying a word,by the way he treats my mum,
he taught me that i could be anything i wanted to be as long as i worked hard for it,

he taught me that men and women are equal but that it would take years before men agreed,

he taught me or rather gave me sex lesson when i was 12 coz my mum was too shy to even say the word sex and i am forever grateful because soon after a man tried to rape me by stelling me that i would like it,the same words my dad used when describing child abusers and i cried rape and the man let me go,

he taught me that i didn't need lots of maony to be happy,but love and balance in my relationships,but knowing that love does not pay bills,i had to work

he taught me that a woman should be independed financially always

he taught me that a woman should always have a little bit of money tucked away somewhere,for a rainy day...

last but not least,that i should greet someone three times,and if they didn't greet me then i should stop.
i can't go on,there are just so many,

oh,by telling not stelling

lots of money

Stuff he taught me directly :
how to shake hands properly
how to change a tyre and drive a big van
how to mix cement
how to use a drill and other power tools
and therefore how to do diy so 'you don't have to pay some eejit to do it'
to never go out for the night without enough money to pay your way and to get home safely.

Stuff I learnt from watching him :
to marry a man who worships the ground you walk on
even if your dad drives your poor mother completley mental, because he respects her, defends her and loves her madly, this is why she loves him back
that massive rows are part of a happy marriage
sometimes men should be ignored for a while
how to have a marriage that is equal and a real partnership and to accept nothing less

that "real men" cry

Always budget, and take account of every change and include 10% contingency for things you might not think of. [useful]

That if you can help you must, that it's never okay to leave another to suffer if you could do something about it. [good]

That your job is more important than anything else. [total bollocks]