The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Players and Supporters Bus

[venusandmars]

Hi I am venus and I am an alcoholic.

Thanks to the first thread by Jesuswhatnow I have not had a drink for a long time.

There are lots of us on here, please lurk, post, whatever does it for you. If you are worried about how much you drink and your inability to stop when you want to, then someone on here can probably understand.

Good list Venus

CJ good idea to project good times for Xmas. I worry that now I'm on my own I will go out to the local (once DC's are alseep) and then come home too "drunk" tipsy to remember to do the Santa thing - the thought of forgetting fills me with dread. Am sure I won't but I keep the thought in my head so that I won't go mad Xmas Eve.

Mouse I'm really liking the neighbour but not sure how he feels about me. Think I will keep in touch on a friendly basis and see. He even likes camping like me :) (Ok not and obscure thing to like but I'm sticking with it. lol)

"those people may be the only real-life help available, and they're proabably doing the best they can."

Exactly - they may be the only help available.

So how is it reasonable to turn away an alcoholic just because she has a child in tow? How is that "doing the best they can"?

This is the St louis pledge and this is what I stand by:

"When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there. And, for that, I am responsible."

I have seen meetings turn someone away because he or she did not really believe that there was a problem. Harsh but fair, I thought. And I can see why a meeting would refuse to admit a child of 14, or even 10 - they are too active in the community and may willingly or unwillingly break someone's anonymity if they meet in the street.

But turning away a woman who cannot attend a meeting because she cannot find childcare?

Not in my name.

Little MIFLAW's temperature is down now, but she has a horrific cough.

It's her mum's turn to stay home with her today, though.

She is fairly happy in herself and that's the main thing.

MIFLAW glad to hear that she's on the mend at least. And that she's happy enough in herself. Poor thing! Hope she 100% ASAP.

Thurso, get a puppy and send the puppy away to school at just the age that it wants its mother. Or just keep the puppy. No Uni for dogs as I write.

(My Dad used to write me a letter a week, without fail, detailing the minutae of what they were up to. Which I found a lot more interesting than when I lived with them. Could you start that as a family tradition? Of course this was before email and mobs, but it cheered me weekly)

Forthe I didn't quite understand your first sentence.
I do want a puppy though!

That advice to Thurso is quite old, Mouse, but she will know what I am talking about. The best ever wrong thread post was one on the X-factor, when someone suddenly posted her view of (SOMEONE ELSE'S VAGINA). She was too embarassed to have in in mn classics.

We got a puppy labrador just before XMas last year and its the best thing I did. She is very hard work (a year now and still very hyper) but she has cuddles with me on the sofa when the DC's have gone to bed and stops me feeling too lonely when the DC's are with my XH

Thanks forthe Thought I was going completely mad.

Or even a lightbulb!

It was about sending children to board at 7. Both my parents and dh were, and they are all pretty anti. I don't want to start a discussion about boarding schools!

I would put money on Thurso getting a puppy. Mine goes out on her first walk tomorrow.

The weekly letter, not email, is a good idea. The physical opening of an envelope.
I do not make myself clear sometime, I am realising.

forthe thanks for elucidating, I too cannot understand why anyone would send their children away at such a young age, and I think that altough children need their parents/carers at a young age, they also need them just as much, in different ways in teenage years, that's why I would never agree to mine going away, everyone's different though, that's just my opinion. Anyway, enough about that.

What sort of dog would you suggest for me. I am at work part time, have a garden, and don't live in town, but don't want one that's too big. Do you think it's too mean of me get a dog if I'm not at home all the time?

I am trying a cooking experiment today. Have you seen all the fuss about Heston Blumenthal's Christmas pudding with the candied orange in the midde (apparently Waitrose have run out completely and aren't taking orders)? Well I liked the idea but my sister's family have nut allergies and so I thought I'd try to make my own. I have some oranges in a pan with water and sugar to candy them - it smells wonderful. Then I'm going to cheat on the Christmas Pudding bit.

Thurso, ask that question on the Dog topic. I am as unqualified to give you advice as Mr Unqualified, winner of last year's unqualified competition who lives down qualifed lane etc.

(What do you think of the writing a letter once a week? I think my father wrote more than he spoke to me. But it was a lovely reassuring presence.)

(Sorry for hijack, just reading old posts)

Noteven, I hope you get through the move. As someone who has moved a lot, I feel for you. In a week you will be in your new home.

'The Doghouse'

Noteven, I hope you get throught the move without too much stress.

venus -what time do you want me on Christmas day? Is it ok that I'll be in my PJs and have the rest of the Mouse house with me?

Letter writing is avery good idea forthe, I also used to send little parcels of food, sweeties,etc, but then was asked not to, as the postman woke up the other housemates when it was delivered :)

I really want that Heston Christmas pudding but it's swimming in cointreau .

mouse I thought I was safe to post because you'd already said you wouldn't travel 5 hours to Scotland.

CJ I didn't know that about the real one. Mine will just be swimming in sweet juicy orange syrup [yum]

thurso when dd1 went to uni I sent her crisps in the post - never with any letter, just a packet of crisps, different each time.

One thing I wanted to pick up on from earlier posts (and PLEASE don't take this as directed at anyone in particular) is about it not being easy to give up drinking.

I get that. Totally understand it because that is exactly how I felt when I first joined the Brave Babes.

The very thought of NEVER having a drink again filled me with utter dread. I went into meltdown thinking about not being able to have a glass of Pinot Grigio or a vodka and lemonade ever again.

There was no way on earth I could NEVER drink again. I thought people on here were mad for even considering telling me to stop.

But I did. I stopped. I planned to stop. I didn't buy any booze in the weekly shop, I told DH what my plan was and why. I was scared to death to take that first step. I didn't want to stop because someone had told me to, I wanted to stop because I HAD TO.

My point is this. If you really want to stop, just for one day, one hour, one minute, then plan it.

If you are drinking a bottle of vodka a day, plus wine, chances are that you will be eligable and will benefit for a chemical detox programme from your GP, with additional help from a local Alcohol Support team who will be based within your community.

It is all completely confidential. No on will know unless YOU tell them about it.

Make an appoinment if you feel that you will need a crutch to support you giving up.

There is a whole world of help out there at the end of your fingertips if you really, really want it.

Otherwise you can go it alone but you have to plan each step and be totally hinest with yourself.

You have to want to stop and then, once you are ready and YOU have made that decision, do it. Stop drinking just for that day. Just for that hour, or that minute and be brave.

Stopping drinking is one of the hardest things you'll do for yourself.

Plan your day away from alcohol and take it a step at a time. Break it down into smaller chunks and it will be easier.

Seek help and advice and it will be easier.

Understand you triggers and it will be easier.

Value yourself and it will be easier.

I'm proof of that.

venus - I just want to be looked after if I'm honest. I love reading your cooking and meal plan posts!

*venus Thanks for the list....very useful indeed!

MiFlaw thanks for explaining what you meant. I was serious about a teapot btw, in fact I've just been and bought one from the market, a huge yellow thing :o Just need to crochet a cover for it now...

I also took your advice of not having beer with my nake on it in the house (well sort of). I had to buy my sis a Birthday present, and bought her some bits then thought "I'll get her a bottle of wine too" but I decided not to buy it today (cos I'd be tempted to drink it tonight) and to just buy it before I give it to her tomorrow.

Thanks again to everyone on this thread. I am daring to feel as though I might have a chance here.

Please scuse typos, have a massive headache.

captain - lots of us have found that we can't actually type sober so there are lots of typos on here!!