The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Players and Supporters Bus

[venusandmars]

Hi I am venus and I am an alcoholic.

Thanks to the first thread by Jesuswhatnow I have not had a drink for a long time.

There are lots of us on here, please lurk, post, whatever does it for you. If you are worried about how much you drink and your inability to stop when you want to, then someone on here can probably understand.

And I have a question... which of you naughty computer fairies gave me this cold? Headache, runny eyes, sneezing. Anyone recognise those symptoms and want them back?

Morning lovely babes,

Glad to see everyone about - those drinking and those not.

It's bloody freezing today - I hope that the heating is working on the bus!

(venus I think it was me, sorry! Although mine was accompanied by a very bad stomach and sore throat. I hope that those symptoms don't creep up on you too.)

morning babes,

very quick message, flitting in to be honest.

drank for the last few nights am afraid. not sure what is going on but i am managing to stop at 2 glasses max.

don't know if this is ok or very bad.

still very upset that my mum has pulled the plug on our xmas. sorry am not around to support everyone else.

x

Hi, is room for me on here please? (I've namechanged for this thread)

MsGee, I'd think that being able to stop at glasses is pretty good, but I'm new to this thread so hopefully someone more experienced will be along soon.

Well, I've decided that I really need to stop/cut down on the drinking. I'm on day of not drinking and feel pretty chuffed with myself, but know that I've been here so many times before. I go a few days without a drink, then something will happen (any excuse really) and I think, oh I'll just have a drink tonight, and before I know it I'm back to drinking every night. And as I've got older my tolerance levels seem to have gone up, so 1/2 a bottle of wine doesn't hit the spot and I end up drinking more and more.

What I'd like to know is, what do you drink in the evenings now you don't drink booze? I have a constant thirst and drink tea constantly during the day, but once the kids are in bed I'd normally opt for something like lager or wine cos it's easy and I don't have to keep getting up to make a brew. I've thought of investing in a massive teapot! Last night, I was SO tempted to just grab a can from the fridge as I was thirsty but couldn't be bothered making a brew, but did the right thing and made a brew instead.

Any suggestions of nice, easy drinks to have in the evening most welcome.

Thanks.

That should have said day 3 of not drinking btw.

Hi MsGee, drinking and being able to stop at two is what you make it. Only you know if it's OK or really bad. But the fact that you've posted about it would suggest that it's probably not ok....A normal drinker having two every night would not have to think about whether it was good or bad, they'd just do it and not give it another thought.

Wanted to say thanks for all the support I got here last night. I'm disappointed I opened a bottle but I can accept I did it and have worked out why. I also managed to pour half of it away and that's all a good start to understanding my alcoholism and knowing how much I don't want to drink anymore. Wasindie I hope your course goes well, just think how awful it would be to have to run day 2 with a hangover. Zany did you finish the second one, how are you feeling today? And all the best for the next day of your detox noteven, we're all rooting for you.

Hi captain sensible,

well done on getting to day 3, there is some great support on here to get you past the difficutl days

lots of people on here have lovely exotic fruit drinks but I have never really got into that.

I tend to have hot chocolate or i get the 0% alcohol beer (although worth checking as some say alcohol free and they are 0.5%). There are different schools of thought on the non alcoholic drinks but the beer works for me because its not my usual drink (would not drink 0% wine, seems silly) and it helps me when I really want that aaah feeling (without the booze!).

captain welcome to the bus, there's plenty of room! I like to drink fizzy drinks in the evening: lemonade, irn bru for example! A lot of the other lovely ladies drink posh things like elderflower type thingies! But it's whatever suits you. (N&T - nothing and tonic - is very popular too.) Well done for getting to Day 3! Looking forward to getting to 'know' you.

MsGee I am so sorry that you are having a crap time. It's brilliant that you are managing to stop and a couple of glasses - only you will know if this is sustainable. I am going through a period like that myself at the moment but I know it will not last forever. Thinking of you.

dipso morning to you and bloody well done for disposing of the remaining booze. Today's another day.

Hi captain they're doing two bottles of Schloer for £2 at Sainsburys at the moment. You can buy it in various flavours, including white and red grape. It's in a wine-type bottle and even tastes a bit like it! Really yummy. DD even remarked on it "this tastes like wine mummy!" I'm going to stock up today. Also I love Welsch's purple grape juice, that looks like wine too...

Funny, I never drink because I'm thirsty (although I do know that having a big glass of water before I start on the wine does take the edge off). If that's why you drink, maybe it'll be less of a challenge to substitute it with something else?

Hi Red and thanks. Feel like I've taken another baby step...

morning!!

nice to meet you captain!! im not being alarmist but should you she the doc about your constant thirst?, i think its an indicator for diabetes! - anyhow - well done on your 3 days!! i now have a lovley selection of cordials, tonic, fizzy water, juice, herb tea etc, all ready chilled in teh fridge (this is important!!, they have to be ready and looking inviting EXACTLY at the time you need a drink!). its funny though, the longer im sober even having that chioice is less important in a way - i just dont feel i need to have a glass of something near me at all times - i tend to pour a drink once or twice in an evening simply because i am thirsty!

Thanks so much for the welcome. You know I have read this thread (well bits of it) so many times, wanting to join in, but have always had a drink instead. I've tried to justify my drinking by comparing my habit to other people's and I'd say things like, well so-and-so drinks every night and they're ok, and I don't drink as much as person X Y and Z so I'm not too bad really, but deep down I know I drink far too much and find it very difficult to go without.
Thanks for the suggestions.
I like the idea of N&T :o, it's the only fizzy drink I like aside from lager really. And I shall go and buy that large teapot today too.

I look forward to getting to know you all. You sound like a lovely supportive bunch.

I've been tested for diabetes in the past and I definitely don't have that. I think I'm just a very thirsty person. Perhaps it's just a habit?

captain i was really really thirsty for the first few weeks of not drinking, it does subside. I used to get into the habit of drinking 2-3 glasses of water at night (you get used to getting up for a wee!) as I think my body was conditioned to realise that this was the time of day that liquids appeared!

Red thank you, I still feel a bit annoyed with myself and worried it will escalate. I am feeling tired which doesn't help. Mainly through thinking about bloody Xmas. Glad to see that you had a good meeting with XH and things are getting on track with parents. How is FB / BF ?

captain It probably is just a habit and if you decide to stop drinking completely it becomes less of a compulsion to always have something near to hand - like JWN said. Well done for deciding to do something about your drinking. It really doesn't matter who drinks what and how much, you are obviously not comfortable with your drinking at the moment and that's what counts. I think we have all said very similar things about not being 'as bad' as such-and-such - I know I have!

MsGee I really feel for you re Xmas, ugh. FB/ BF is wonderful Things going very well although obviously I am terrified at the same time with marriage just ending so trying not to project and take each day as it comes.

captainsensible welcome - I too am on day 3 though had got myself into such a mess I am having to do the first few days with Librium. Could you get an insulated teapot so the tea does not go cold and you don't have to make it so often?
I'm a fizzy drink junkie usually though this week I am making myself drink loads of water too. I couldn't drink something that looks like wine I don't think but for some it helps, and some like drinking their N&T or whatever out of wineglasses but I couldn't do that either. Or not yet, anyway.

Red I am glad you are enjoying him (and it sounds like in more ways than one nowadays!)

Dipso it was definitely a baby step. Can you make sure that you have none in the house tonight so that even if you are crying you are not drinking?

venus dose yourself up please - regular paracetamol and brufen and nice warm drinks Mouse was poorly yesterday (though with a tummy bug I think) - are you any better today?

I am like a rollercoaster today - I've had 3 good cries already and come out of them reasonably purposeful. I guess I need to remember the emotions will end.
I need to do some food shopping for fresh stuff as it is good for me and DD and we've had a few days of real basics. I think I'm going to go to the halal supermarket on the way home from nursery - in time, I must face alcohol whenever I do a food shop but maybe I'll steer away just for now. I am feeling very torn between knowing I need to recover for me and a longing to be the person that my "DP" fell in love with and feels he has lost.

Hello everyone,

I haven't posted on here much in the last couple of days, because I didn't think that there was anything I had to say that was of interest or helpful as I am so new. I am in awe of the fantastic advice and support that is here.
Can I just chat? :)
Noteven what a wonderful thing you have done. You have been so brave, and so strong, you should be really proud of yourself.

Wasindie you ask if it is easy to just stop drinking. NO not for me, I haven't had a drink since the night before I first came on here. and I don't really know why, I have never managed it before. In some ways it gets easier, but I think that what stops me, is being so scared that the first drink will set me off again. I know as others have said, that it's the first drink I can't have. It really is easier (for me anyway) each day that passes. That's not to say I don't have the craving, because I do, but it does pass.

Forthe you wouldn't have realised but your post about boarding school struck a chord. There is a long history in Dh's family of children going to boarding school at 13, some as young as 8!!!!, and I swore that mine never would. Each to their own, of course, but I wanted to hear about their day, and wash their sports kit!!!

I hope all your sniffles and colds are getting better. Mouse how is Nemo, does he pick up colds easily?

One thing I've noticed not drinking is that Dh is so much more boring relaxed in the evening :)

Red, its lovely to hear you sound happy and content.

Trying not to project works in so many situations doesn't it! Think I need to remember that sometimes.

I am feeling rather childish and hurt at the moment but feel that I have been manipulated into a corner. For fear of upsetting mum I have had to say its ok for her to go to my sister's when really I feel very trampled on. My mum chooses the path of least resistance and it really annoys me. She doesn't play favourites but I end up being treated like crap because my sister screams loudest and I just want a peaceful life. My sister hasn't contacted me at all and I really don't want to see her at all over xmas now.

noteven you sound great today! So pleased for you.

thurso of course you can just chat, this thread is not just about drama it's about normal women (and men) with the usual life crap who just happen to have issues with booze. Chat away!

MsGee I am not surprised you are feeling the way you do. I would be very hurt and angry if something similar happened to me. I suppose not projecting might come into this situation too! I wish I had more words of wisdom for you...

msgee it is crap that your plans have been destroyed, but you know that you coud do so much more damage to your Christmas plans if your 2 small glasses increases to 2 bigger glasses to 2 enormous glasses.... You might not be in control of your sister's behaviour or your mum's response to her, but you CAN be in control of how you let that affect your life. Don't let the habit come sneaking back.

Hello to captain - your post said it all when your wrote 'grab a can from the fridge' - being prepared and having alcohol available and ready aand tempting. So now I do that with other drinks. N&T made in a nice glass, ice cube tray ready in teh freezer, lemon ready to slice (or ready sliced and frozen), small cans of tonic so they don't lose their fizz. prepare for it and make it a treat. I also like to keep ginger beer in the fridge and sometimes Purdy's vitamin drink. I also find that keeping my hands busy makes me less likely to look for a glass to hold. You could try knitting or try this and kill 2 birds with one stone - warm tea and busy hands

thurso - i sometimes feel like you so dont worry!, often i just post my various ponderings or recite my day - i find just posting makes me think for a few moments and helps to gather my thoughts, particuarly if im having a bit of a wobble!

msgee - try and think of it as just another day so far as your sister is concerned - make the day as wonderful as possible for dd, start building your own little family traditions and i promise it helps!

btw, you sound chipper red!!

moomin when you say that you 'know it won't last' which was do you expect it to go? Is that you anticipating another bender, or are you anticipating another 11 months (or more) sober? There is every possibility that it could be second of those - you've done it before, it's not impossible, so please stop projecting something negative. A few weeks ago when your life was falling apart, you could not have predicted that you'd be relaxed and laughing with FB/BF, sometimes life has good surprises for us too

Just wanted to say 'hi' to everyone, and well done to noteven for keeping your head above water.