The next 12 hours

[Halloqueen]

Today my dp ends his 3 month emotional affair with a woman he met at a business meeting. They exchanged numbers, he was bored one day at work, text her, met for lunch, found out they had much in common and they clicked.
His relationship with me never faltered only that he worked a few extra hours every couple of days. Which was nothing out if the ordinary. He admitted all this to me when she started demanding more and more of his time and he realised things had gone way further than he'd intended. He says he loves me as he always has, wasnt unhappy at home...it just happened. He promises he intended no more than friendship but knew he'd started having feelings for her.
So today after work he's meeting her for drinks to tell her he loves me and 3dc's and they can't carry on any further. He says he owes her more than a ten minute see ya have a nice life because she is a nice person and he has to do this 'his way' but promises me he will cut all contact tonight.

It was hard enough to accept he'd do this and to have the strength to stay but he's a good man, me and 3dc's are his world and I know he will work hard to provd this but still the thought of tonight scares me. The thought of him meeting her...
He's set off to work looking smart and I have to sit here knowing he's meeting her after work, not sure if he'll be an hour late or if it'll be a few hours and just twisting myself up worrying she'll manage to change his mind. Will he kiss her 'one last time' will there be a long tearful goodbye? My brain won't let me stop thinking. Need to get thru next 12 hours. How do I do it without going insane???

He needs to leave his phone with you when he goes to work and you need access to his email accounts.

If he's sincere about ending it, he would change his mobile number.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

Halloqueen, doesn't matter how persistent she is, if he blocks her number from his mobile and refuses to speak to her or take her calls at work/wherever, it won't get her anywhere. Don't let him use that as an excuse. He needs to understand he has to stop all contact now for you to ever begin building trust again.

Please don't forget that your 'wonderful' man has willfully spent three months deceiving and betraying you for his own gain.

You seem very quick to forgive and move on.

Look after yourself, Hallo

And watch him like a fucking hawk.

Well, the OW clearly still thinks communication is welcome, or she wouldn't be texting him tonight. I do hope you enforce some boundaries now, Halloqueen. As it is far from clear why this meeting didn't go ahead, I have a feeling that this is far from concluded.

You might find it helpful at some point to start a new thread (or read some old ones) about the recovery process for this.

I know shes angling at them remaining friends and that cutting contact is proving hard for him. I'm forced to wonder now if its so hard just how committed he is to following it through. No it's not forgive and forget sweep it under the carpet there has been much more to all this but my thread concerned today and how I'd feel about him meeting her one last time. For me there was to be a line drawn under all this today. Now I'm left to wonder if it will be dragged out further.

Didn't really expect to hear from you tonight OP, as you were meant to be talking, but you've updated regularly throughout the evening. What's he doing then?

What are you doing on here hallo, what is he doing?

I have to say the whole thread and the situation did smack of someone not willing to let go, wanting it to carry on, or something that had gone further, or all of the previous.

He has still decieved you with a newborn baby, he has still damaged the relationship, his is still giving his thoughts and affection to her. Remember that, he is not a "nice" guy in this situation.

He made a good start tonight sure, BUT don't let this go to easily, I feel you will and this hasn't finished.

He should be talking to you and telling you with 100% honesty what has really happened, truthfully I don't think you know the half of it. This sounds like a full blown affair.

He should also give you his phone, get a new number tomorrow and phone her in front of you and tell her not to contact him again. All the time he has her around you stand no chance IMO.

Baby has taken a good while to settle tonight so I've been up in the nursery with her (and iPhone) while he's taking a long bath. Hopefully we'll talk soon as she has just finished bfing and he says he'll be finished shortly. Will go make coffees and hopefully sort this tonight.

I am off to bed. I'm wasting my time trying to talk to him tonight.

hi hallo just checking in on you - are you disappointed about the way tonight has gone?

Yes I am he came in early we had plans to spend time on 'us' when the kids were asleep now he's sat downstairs watching something on the Internet and when I ask if we're having our time together he says he needs time alone.

hmmmmm

he should be talking to you. is he in a bad mood - is there an atmosphere?

from what you have said tonight i fear that this runs deeper with him - feel free to let it all out on here.

Glad he came home, he will begin to see her for what she really is. How awful of her to keep texting when there is a marriage and three children's futures' at stake here.
My husband thought his ow was wonderful for about a week after he cut contact, it slowly began to dawn on him how unattractive she was and became ashamed of himself for putting me through all this . About a month after she contacted him again and he told her no more contact. she tried again a month later and he told her on no uncertain terms where to go. She tried one last time while I was present (at a social event) and he blanked her.
We were at the same party recently , I don't even glance at her and he makes it perfectly clear that he is only interested in me. I am even beginning to pity her (a bit !).
Good luck !

Hang on in there. If you can, get some rest, you have three children to care for and you need your strength.

There is plenty of support on here for you and as others are saying, you can share as much or as little as you like.

It sounds as though his agenda is somewhat different from what you had expected and that is tough for you. However, I suspect that you are strong in yourself and can handle him, its just that you may need some hand holding from others who have been through the same.

Use their experience to help guide you through the next few days.

UA?

heh?

i don't think the op is a troll

UA you should be ashamed, don't troll hunt on this thread, it's bang out of order.

Op feel free to talk about it and how you are feeling and what it going on.

It will all start to unravel for you I feel in the coming days, you may need an objective view x

Does he often take baths in the evenings?

He's sulking because you've called him in from playtime.

This is really just a continuation of his recent overwhelming self-indulgence.

He feels like he's lost something and he feels angry with you.

Don't pander to him by treading on eggshells and pussyfooting around.

If he continues to 'need time alone' tell him to go to a hotel and come back when he's ready to behave like an adult, talk to you properly and give his family the attention it deserves.