Total dickwad - something funny to take the piss? Advice please.

[tummysgottogo]

OK this follows on from my thread yesterday about men/trusting them etc....well...........

Ugh

Lent new bf my car this weekend to "visit a friend and drop him off with his skis". He sent me a chatty text about how he had to go away and how expensive car hire was.

Leaves his phone in my car by mistake after he drops it off. Can't help checking his inbox to see who's texted him. Yes it's a trust issue.

Lots from a girl called A. About this weekend...hmmm...anyway something about "looking forward to lots of sex". I then phone her, and actually end up aShe and I end up in total shock, as we both thought we were in exclusive relationships with this fucktard guy.

Going through his phone I then discover he's been seeing two other women as well.

Obviously there aren't really words to describe him but I'm MOST pissed off about borrowing my car, apparently for a boys weekend (there was a whole elaborate lie about this) to go on a romantic "fuck me senseless" weekend.

And OBVIOUSLY I'm going to dump him. But...I want some kind of fun revenge. I have his phone with all of his contacts.

Before you tell me this is immature and I'm better off without him, I know. But I want a last laugh : )

YES!!

The really obvious one is to post his number on slightly dodgy sites. or just post it here :-p

(not sure anybody would actually call it though)

Actually don't do anything.

You will be the one they are all laughing at when he tells them what has happened.

The girls will think you are a psycho bitch and the boys will just laugh at you and think he is God!

Leave it do not contact any of his friends.

Walk away with some dignity and ask him to pay for the cost of valenting the car or you will sell his phone.

Cut all ties and be the bigger person, do not meet one of the other women either. You are both only doing it to see what each other is like it wont change anything or make anything better.

all tehse are great. particularly liek natandchris' suggestion of badmouthing all his friends...to his friends .

i know where to come when i need revenge!!

oh jacqueline, don't be so sensible

send his boss a text (pretend your him) ,saying "how much he hates his job and that his boss is a creepy wanker who has the intelegence of a slug, actually looks like a slug too" .
..then do an oops was ment for x (next name in phonebook/contacts)
heheheh.

post his number on gay website stating that hes looking for good times !

sign him up for every online survey you can find ....he`ll be inundated with spam emails and junk mail ....and sales calls .

is that too evil ?

i wouldnt bad mouth him too his friends either , id tell them he was rubbish in bed on account of his tiny penis.

he`ll get called "maggot" for years

Do you really want everyone to know how gullible you've been?

Walk away, keep your dignity.

I know sensible hat is well and truely on

However, when you are the butt of the joke in a weeks time or when he gives your number to all his friends who then keep prank calling you etc don't come here to whinge about it because all I shall do is point at my sensible hat

....DONT SAY CHLAMYDIA ITS NOT SCARY ...it can be cured with anti biotics..... say herpes !

Is HIV taking it too far?

yes loopy ....i think that would be too far .

i was going to suggest that loopy... i am also one who can sometimes take things a little to far in forms of revenge..

Thought so somehow.

Hepatitis? No, also too far.

id go with something thats not life threatening ,but something thats not removable with anitbiotics.... why i said herpes...

Its a lifetime gift iykwim?
BUT no one died from herpes.

i think something that could honestly be him, rather than being obviously you (ie STI/job/gay)...outing his behaviours to all women in his contacts would be enough i reckon

don't bother to meet with other women if you feel meh about it...

...plus it has a get out clause ..

technically herpes virus is also cold sore ....so if your pulled on it , you can just say you ment herpes simplex 2 (aka cold sores)
.

make him a "plenty of fish/internet dating/match/" page ... under the bit where you have to write about himself , just put loves to shag about and two time gullable females....quote a particuarly nasty arsehole i know " im just here for the fanny".

Then tell people hes on dating sites.
especially his mother.

I'm with Jaquelinehyde on this one. Retain your dignity! Dump him. Do nothing.

But delete all his numbers first! Or lose the phone.

don't send messages to his contacts. That could upset people who are completely innocent.

Give him back his phone and move on

isthisanEA has a point. When I split up with my ex he sent a message to every single email address he had.. Needless to say there were things my Gran didn't need to hear about.

Hate to be the boring one here, but I think that all this texting his boss etc. is actually illegal. I'm not a lawyer but I've got a feeling it is, could probably count as harrassment. So do nothing, he's not worth the trouble

there must be something embarrassing that you know about him. Does he cry during sex? Have a stash of World or Warcraft figures lovingly painted living in his bedroom? Have fantasies about zebras?

How about get together with the other 3 women he's been seeing and arrange to send a text to his work phone at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME saying OMG I think I'm pregnant!

Oh you have cheered me up so much!! I did drunkenly text the other two last night saying "Oh no! The warts have come back. Do you know a good chemist?" which I'm now wondering about but hey ho!

I wont text his parents because they don't have a good relationship and it's mean. Or his work. But I had a great old chat to the main other one last night who sounds lovely. We compared notes. He was lying recovering in my bed, the afternoon after my birthday (last week), texting her saying he was at work and bored and could they meet up?! Then went straight from mine to hers a couple hours later when he got up.

But I'm MOST pissed off about how he borrowed MY car to go and FUCK her when he told me he was having a boys weekend.

Sooooo angry can't believe it.