I really don't know what to do.
I have suffered from depression on and off all my life. I have been on and off anti Ds. I have no sex drive at all at the moment. In fact I haven't had one since the birth of my 1st DS over 2 years ago. Since having DD who is 6 months I haven't wanted anything more than a cuddle. My DH (been married 5 years) is understandably fed up with the whole thing. I am waiting for some counselling and have regular contact with a psychiatrist (where I just moan a lot)
I just feel so tired all the time. I never enjoyed our sex life even in the early days (have always had issues with sex) My DH is my 1st partner, I have never been with anyone else.
It sounds awful but I really had to force myself into being physical with him - I love him very much. I find him physically attractive but have no desires at all.
Since having the children I feel I am constantly dealing with demands and my husband just feels like another demand. Its driving me mad.
He knows how I feel but he tells me I should just "bite the bullet" and if I start something sexual then I might enjoy it. This is what I did all the way through our sexual relationship and it wasn't true then so why now? I can't tell him this. He is quite sensitive and it will upset him. I feel like such a CRAP wife.
We don't really argue but DH is not happy. We chat about it every few weeks and get no-where. I wondered whether coming off the pill and trying another type of contraceptive would help. Does the pill dampen sex drive? I know this isn't the cause but maybe it would help.
There are lots of other depressing issues in my life and in the past (hence waiting for councelling) and I want to get well and just feel "normal" but my poor DH has to put up with this and its not fair.
Am I being self absorbed? Should I "bite the bullet" and just get on with it regardless of not wanting to.
Any advice very welcome!