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Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Homebrew In The Shed!

1000 replies

HammerMouseOfHorrors · 28/10/2010 17:45

Hello, I'm Mouse. Smile

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus. You can get on at any point in the journey, there is plenty of room, it's free to ride and there is always someone who will be along to hold your hand over the speedbumps!

So, no matter where you are in your quest to quit the booze, join us for support, advice and a fair few laughs along the way Grin

There is no judging, no cliques, just real poster with real problems being real and honest!

Come and meet the others.....

Here is the previous thread where you can read all of the threads so far, including JWN's original thread and the reason we are all here.

OP posts:
thursoback · 04/11/2010 14:51

should say "blokes, or gentlemen"

RedDevilMoomin · 04/11/2010 14:53

I know exactly what you mean thurso about feeling shy and nervous. For me sex was always when I was pissed so it can feel quite daunting to be sober...

Mousefawkes · 04/11/2010 14:56

thurso

It's normal to be nervous when you first start to have sober sex. I hated it at first. I felt self-concious, fat, ugly, like I should cover up. Whereas pissed shagging never made me feel like that.

I think him wanting to have sex with you 'to cure all ills' as it were, may be his way of re-assuring you that he loves you no matter what?

Perhaps he is trying to prove that you don't need to be pissed to enjoy him? Or indeed him you?

Take your time. It's not easy and yes, you will be nervous.

Tell him. If you explain your feelings and emotions, at least he won't think it's him IYSWIM.

Men are better at physical than women IME.

Just go with the flow and take the pressure off. xx

thursoback · 04/11/2010 15:04

Thanks red and mouse,

mouse you are right, it is his way of showing me, I know, and I have told him all about how I feel, so it's probably a "take my time thing"

What does IYSWIM mean, IME?

Mousefawkes · 04/11/2010 15:05

IfYouSeeWhatIMean

and InMyExperience

Smile
thursoback · 04/11/2010 15:06

I meant and IME?
Haven't got the hang of these acronyms yet :)

Dipso · 04/11/2010 15:06

I've just dropped in to say hi and that I'm feeling like shit today because I drank nearly 2 bottles of wine last night. Had a semi-blackout and even went to collect DD from Guides in the middle of it - there's no icon for an ashamed face and the embarrassed one doesn't cut it. What's even more awful is that DD, who's 10, has clocked that I drink too much and has asked me to stop because it worries her. I know how selfish I'm being by continuing and have really got to pull my finger out.

Going to the GP later, not because of this, but will mention it anyway. They know of my attempts to control my drinking but will tell her nothing seems to work - not will-power, AA or talking to the Drugs & Alcohol team. I'm going to ask her for Acamprosate and failing that Antabuse. Since I tend to drink because of the buzz (not to escape problems), maybe Acamprosate will help and I've no doubt that if I was on Antabuse and knew I'd be sick as a dog if I drank, then I wouldn't. Does anyone have any experience of these medications?

It's not even as if I hate myself for doing this anymore. I'm just so tired of it and scared of what I might do when I'm pissed.

thursoback · 04/11/2010 15:07

Thank you,

I didn't realise I would learn so much on here :)

thursoback · 04/11/2010 15:10

dipso darling,

my thoughts are with you, I hope you are feeling a bit better than you did this morning.
I think you need better advice than mine, but know that I support you.

Dipso · 04/11/2010 15:17

Thanks Thurso, I know you know how I feel! And I know how you feel too, the half a bottle of wine thing before I go out is part of my speciality.

Hope you manage to avoid it this weekend. x

RedDevilMoomin · 04/11/2010 15:17

Oh dipso sounds like you are going through a really hard time. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you x

Dipso · 04/11/2010 15:19

I do it to myself all the time Red, no-one else but me to blame. The good thing is, I
know well and truly that I'm an alkie, there's no more denying it anymore.

I just hope the GP puts her squiggle on a prescription for me - I think I'll cry if she
doesn't.

Mousefawkes · 04/11/2010 15:19

Dipso

PLEASE promise that you will talk to your GP about your drinking.

Re the meds, if one of them is a cream and green capsule, then I have had them. I had meds a long time ago now, that fooled the brain into thinking that you had had a drink, and if you did drink, you'd puke for England!

I am so pleased to see that you are asking for help on this, that YOU have realised that you can't do this alone or by talking, you need physical intervention.

Meds don't suit everyone, I had appointments with the D&A local team but didn't find it helped me. We're all different though.

Does your GP know what meds you've had in the past?

Have you considered why you get shit faced? Because eventually, that is something you'll have to address.

But one step at a time. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Get the drinking under control and then start to look at other areas of your life.

Bit by bit. xx

RedDevilMoomin · 04/11/2010 15:21

What time's your appointment? I hope that it goes well.

Mousefawkes · 04/11/2010 15:21

And I hope so too. Being completely honest with her will help! Fingers crossed.

desiretochange · 04/11/2010 15:24

Do you think that there are always underlying issues because we decide to get shit faced (or maybe not exactly decide but end up being)or is it because it's an addiction?? IYSWIM??

thursoback · 04/11/2010 15:29

I think "decide" is the right word for me desire.

Thoroughlyashamed · 04/11/2010 15:36

Afternaoon everyone, very busy on here today. I obviously can't offer any advice as I am a fledgling at not being shit faced (nice expression disire) 99% of the time but I am reading & wishing you all lots of love & support from a lurking position.

Very tired today even though I slept so well & I still look rough but I do have heating no money again so that's good.

Hoping not to drink tonight although deep down I would like to, we have parents evening tonight & DD2 is having some problems and I feel I need to defend her little 6y old corner (long story) I'll see how it goes - fingers crossed x

Dipso good luck mate you sound like a strong person to me.

Mouse how's your face feeling now?

Mousefawkes · 04/11/2010 15:36

'decide' is spot on.

We decide we want a drink, we decide we deserve that drink, we decide that we need that drink.

We decide to get the glass out of the cupboard.

We decide to open the bottle and pour the drink.

We decide to empty that glass into ourselves.

We decide to pour another

We decide to pour another and another.

We decide to open the next bottle too.

We decide to start to empty it.

We decide then to throw up, pass out, walk home, shag that bloke/bird, eat that kebab/pizza/burger, start sobing, flashing body parts, fighting, hating, shouting, showing ourselves up.....

We decide to do all of that.

Well, I did.

Dipso · 04/11/2010 15:39

The support here is lovely, thank you. My appointment is at 4.30 and I'll report back.
Mouse I think what you took was Antabuse and I'll settle for that if she won't presribe the other.

Why do we get shit-faced? I keep telling myself that getting pissed makes me feel fantastic and quite often it does. I need to change the story and focus on the danger it puts me in, and not only me. Darling DD, who saw me pissed last night, came into my room this morning and was so pleased that I "looked normal". Aaarghhh

Dipso · 04/11/2010 15:40

Wow, that's a lot of decisions Mouse, makes it seem like such hard work!

So much simpler to just decide 'no' and stick with it.

Mousefawkes · 04/11/2010 15:43

dipso

My advice? Make a list. Make a list of all the things that you love about drinking and getting pissed.

Then, write a list of what you don't like.

The mental, the emotional and the physical sides of the good and bad.

Find a reason to stop or to take control. I can think of a very very good one in a heartbeat. xx

desiretochange · 04/11/2010 15:53

Can't take the credit for "shit face", borrowed that word off Mouse:)

desiretochange · 04/11/2010 15:53

or even "shit faced* Blush

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