Calling all prostitutes and former prostitutes on MN, as there seem to be a few around right now...

[Aitch]

I'm curious to know how it makes you feel to see threads on here from wives and girlfriends etc when they discover that their husbands etc have been visiting prostitutes? even if you are happy in your own jobs (and i hope to god you are somehow, because the alternative is intolerable), how does it feel to be confronted with the downside of your work on these pages?

(i think it goes without saying that the men are culpable in this scenario, but am looking for some insight into how your work squares with sisterhood etc).

Watching, genuine question: does it bother you that your clients think so little of women that they

1. cheat on their partners and
2. think it's ok rent a woman's body, in other words have sex with a woman who does not want this in any way except financially?

Really not trying to judge you here: I think punters are the scum of the earth and you seem like an intelligent, thoughtful woman. They are unworthy of you.

'And math I would say that if I were in Manda's shoes and a prostitute doing my job for money (aren't we all) then it's not my problem and I couldn't care less!

I don't question people in my line of work I just accept their money and get on with it. She's not a therapist fgs.'

Vanilla thank you (sincerely) very much for your honesty.

LindenAvery it's not exactly a 'lie'; I am intimate and romantic with them for however long they are with me. Some of them I feel very fond of and many of them I rate highly as individuals.

Vanilla I only do the GFE, including FK. I do not offer a PSE ('porn star experience') and I only do things I myself enjoy. My list of services is acutally very short. But I have a large clientele because most men want ordinary sex rather than anything freaky or over exhuberant.

Jenny I think it's ok for a man to pay for sex if it's a mutually agreeable transaction, same as with non-paid for sex. OK in an ideal world there'd be no need for it. But it's not an ideal world, and there is a need for it.

No I don't think it's nice for a man to cheat on his wife. But I also understand that there are usually complicated circumstances that lead a man to do this. Evidence of this I think is that many married men come and see me regularly/only see me. They're not thrill-seekers or habitual liars who only want to have sex with (lots of) women other than their wives. They only want an occasional but regular source of release with someone whom they can trust not to interfere with their personal lives or marriages, also someone they know for sure isn't pimped or trafficked, who is working independently, who is careful of her sexual health, who has no drugs problem or criminal intent. I'm repeating myself but whatever the reason they feel compelled to use a prostitute they are simultaneously trying to preserve and protect their marriages and to act within some kind of boundaries.

I personally am OK with having sex solely for financial gain. I understand I am in the minority in this respect.

'LindenAvery it's not exactly a 'lie'; I am intimate and romantic with them for however long they are with me. Some of them I feel very fond of and many of them I rate highly as individuals.'

Only because they have paid you.

I would question also your use of 'intimate'- maybe check a dictionary?

Yes, because they have paid me, that's what I do, it's why I'm there and why he's there too. Doesn't mean it's not romantic and intimate.

You check the dictionary, I think you'll find that it doesn't say romance and intimacy is solely the preserve of faithfully married couples.

Anyhoo I'm off out to work and he's single so I guess that's alright

I didn't say they are visiting prostitutes to protect their marriages. I said that they are visiting prostitutes and simultaneously trying to protect their marriages.

Vanilla - I may be confusing what you have posted here and going way off tangent (and if so I apologise in advance) but if a prostitute is raped (and it does happen) some of your postings are suggesting that this is nothing more than theft - consent between a prostitute and client is based on money changing hands.If sex is something you can buy then sex that has not been paid for is simply theft?

And NO I do not believe this....rape is rape.

'You check the dictionary, I think you'll find that it doesn't say romance and intimacy is solely the preserve of faithfully married couples.'

Where did I say that?

Intimacy can not be 'bought'.

'Yes, because they have paid me, that's what I do, it's why I'm there and why he's there too. Doesn't mean it's not romantic and intimate.' I think it's precisely because they've paid you that it isn't romantic or intimate. They are paying for an illusion that has actually nothing to do with romance (which they see as a power game) or intimacy (which they're fleeing).

WR, your long post of 17.05 crossed with mine -- thank you also for your honesty there.

It is my belief that what a lot of men who visit prostitutes are paying for is the thrill of getting away with living under their own rules, the thrill of the careful plan, the timing, the cash, the deception. They are not that interested in the romance or the intimacy except insofar as it takes care of their own self-image as somehow above the unfortunate girl in nylon propping up a street corner while in fact doing something quite sordid and underhand. They are James Bond, cool, suave, above the rules -- and immensely hostile to women under it all.

Incidentally, there has been no mention of condoms but some mention of the notion that diseases and infections are more likely to be picked up from street walkers -- do you insist on condoms or is this negotiable under any circumstances?

Interesting thread. I think that men who punt have a level of denial going on about the sex because all the men I have had sex with have wanted to know I wanted to be with them. If you pay someone to be with you they make sure you enjoy the experience by appearing enthusiastic or satisfied. A WG earlier said you would not be able to tell a trafficked or coerced girl because they would do their job so well.

Equally I think the high class escort needs to dissociate from the seedy street workers because being a Belle du Jour enables them to pretend it's because they are attractive, sexy and something special enough that a man will pay rather than they are a woman with time to get ready....

Which leads me to conclude that all those men who stick with women who are tired and busy with their children are really in love. the people above are faking the experience and know it. Hence the strong defence and the fact that we have been sold the idea that prostitution is something really rather trendy and cool.

Manda are you recruiting on MN?

My own view is that men can do it. Women can sell it but be honest about it. Men that do it behind partners backs are low life. Women that kid themself that they are providing a 'vital' service are also in a state of dishonesty. A vital service is the ambulance or special care baby unit. this is like a spray tan. You are the Jordan equivalent of sex

This thread took a turn. Hmm see I am usually falling foul of people on here for standing up for men .

I do find sometimes the whole all men are bastards and all women are saintly a bit crap tbh. So initially in this thread I was actually very pro the sex worker but flipped to the other side and I would not say I was a hardened feminist.

It flipped to then feeling quite disgusted with the female sex workers and their nauseating as I said earlier act of being some kind of Florence Nightingale type service and they were all so wonderful sympathetic human beings and Manda did not specifically target married men.

Utter crap, she offers a service discount, she is right it is well known about, so she wouldn't need to advertise it as word of mouth would spread around the camp within 5 seconds flat, hence why you don't have to advertise it Manda you know that.

Most men will be married or have gf's back home though as most don't move with their spouses now, so I stand by the fact she deliberately targets married men away from home, whether she admits it or not.

Don't get me wrong I wholly believe that it's not the hookers fault if a man strays far from it, only the bloke to blame for that! But the whole Mother Theresa crap dosen't wash really, they know what they do and can't be honest about it. Even to themsleves.

They sell their bodies for cold hard cash whoever the punter maybe and everything surrounding it is fake.

Just to clarify a couple of things.
I do sell a service. Anything you sell is either a product or a service.

I do NOT live within range of any forces base and certainly not a place where servicemen would be away from home. I have only ever in 18 years had bookings with a handful of servicemen.

I did not advertise on MN. I only reluctantly provided a way to find my website because someone accused me of being a fake. The SAME PERSON who later accused me of advertising, even though I told them that the reason I hadn't provided details was because I didn't want to be accused of that very thing.

I am not here to recruit. Recruit for what? I don't run an agency. Why would I encourage more competition.

I never claimed to be some saintly altruistic figure.

A lot of the information that I have been accused of ramming down people's throats it's information that I provided in answer to MNers questions.

I do not seek out my clientèle, they have to seek me out.

And finally, NO! Condoms are not negotiable. I take my sexual health very seriously.

I interviewed several women who had met their husbands as clients, when they were prostitutes. It wasn't part of my brief to ask if the men had been married when they started seeing them, so I can't answer that! Just wanting to point out that nothing is ever cut & dried, on this issue or any other, and no two relationships are the same - commercial or otherwise.

The women were not mail-order brides, though I have met a few of those too. It's a complicated world.

Branding (as in Mandamumu's site) is really all about the customer's self image -- in this case, a man is encouraged to see himself as above the loser who can't afford anything better than the poor girl propping up the corner, nylon, etc. I got the impression from Manda's comments throughout the thread that she really believed her own spiel and that the image she presented there was reality, to her.

Glad you insist on the condoms.

I have been thinking about the whole issue of telling children or not about working as a prostitute.

So, to answer you, Watching, I am afraid, for me, the right answer is 'don't work as a prostitute, then you don't have the issue.'

I know you will think this is a glib response, but really, the alternatives you & Manda propose - tell them directly or have them find out for themselves - do not represent a good option and a bad option. For me, it is a question of which is the least worse, NOT which is the best answer. You might think this is semantics, but the question has yet again become obscured by the notion that because you have told The Truth, then everything is OK, regardless of what that Truth is.

And if we are talking about children aged 14, then I actually think it is morally wrong to tell them. It passes the responsiblity for making a moral judgement onto someone who doesn't have enough experience to understand the issue in its entirety.
To coin a phrase, a child can't handle that kind of truth. Look at the debate going on here about morality/ethics etc - we as adults are having a hard time reconciling prostitution as a ''career''. What an earth is a 14 year old boy supposed to make of it when his own mother tells him she is a prostitute? I sincerely believe he is not adult/mature enough to understand all the ramifications to be able to truly say he is OK with it.

Manda I would be intrigued to know if you would give up prostitution if your children told you they were not OK with it?
My old boss used to say 'ask for forgiveness, not permission' - because it's harder for people to reject something that's already underway. THAT is what's going on here with 'telling the kids the truth'...a dubious honesty masquerading as relative morality.

well-ive not come on this thread to argue with anyone.
when looking at this thread i just feel sadness.
Manda-[im not picking on you-this is genuine]
look at this thread-and please look at the thread ive started on the feminist section.

you say youre husband is ok with this?
why dont you ask him to sell hes arse for a while and sees what he say[and if he can go through this]
do you really think that if someone cares for you[like youre husband]it would be ok with them for you to do this?
do you really think youre child is ok with this?

yep-its usual for prostitutes to pretend to themselves-but they cant pretend forever.

how long have you been doing this?

i doubt you will anser me-but i hope you read my post[and look in the feminist section]
as i said-not meant with harm-just sadness.
you are worth more than this.

dittony-
well done gal[proberly get told off for this]
as usual-youre doing ok[if i may say so]-
bit harsh sometimes but i can understand you.

Oh and my son is 16, not 14. My 14 year old doesn't know.

I've done this for 18 years and I've been married for 6 years. I'd known my Husband for years before we got together. He's always known what I do for a living.

I'm not pretending anything.

My site was written by me, so it does reflect my personality. This is just me.

OK, your 16 year old knows.
IMO, he's still a child, so my views in my post still stand.

You didn't answer my question though - if he had said he wasn't happy about you being a prostitute, would you stop?

Mandamumu Can i just ask,does your dh really love you ? If he does how can he bear for you to be doing this as a job ?

So Manda, you've been doing this whilst having your children - Are you 100% sure who their fathers are?

I sincerely hope you weren't selling yourself whilst pregnant, that's something too awful to contemplate.

I don't understand how your husband can share you with other men either I'm afraid.

I'm 100% sure who the father of my children is. I took a break from working when we decided to have children and didn't return to work until my youngest was 2.

I actually find that question rather insulting.

My Husband understands that what I do is just my job.