Calling all prostitutes and former prostitutes on MN, as there seem to be a few around right now...

[Aitch]

I'm curious to know how it makes you feel to see threads on here from wives and girlfriends etc when they discover that their husbands etc have been visiting prostitutes? even if you are happy in your own jobs (and i hope to god you are somehow, because the alternative is intolerable), how does it feel to be confronted with the downside of your work on these pages?

(i think it goes without saying that the men are culpable in this scenario, but am looking for some insight into how your work squares with sisterhood etc).

I don't think the purchasing of sex can be compared to something as normal and mundane as buying tea bags but I see your point. Understandably, like the tea bags, where there is demand there will be supply and with sex being the lowest common denominator there will undoubtedly be a market for it. I don't think I have a right to nor do I need tea bags but manufacturers have recognized the demand for tea. I think that's where the similarities end. In a relationship where feelings are involved and you would feel hurt or betrayed if your partner was physically unfaithful - whether emotions were involved or not - it's wrong.

"Special condition" - what, like not being in a relationship?!

'I give them money , they are happy, I have treat myself occasionally and have a good time, and my wife although would be tremendously hurt if she found out, knows nothing and is never likely to be find out.'

Oh yes, you have your very own moral code all right.

Where to even begin?

It is very common to place conditions of exclusivity on other transactions in life. Have you ever heard of private property?

Of course it has occurred to me to wonder why that might be. But does sex only have to occur between 2 adults that love each other or something? Can it never be purely physical? Why would that be wrong? Men and women are able to have sex with people they don't love, you know, without any long-lasting negative impact on their mental well-being and psyche. The nature of sex is such that it does form an important part of a relationship but is also a form of release for many people whether that be stress or more literal.

In that context is it still so wrong?

I'm not saying your opinion is wrong, btw, just very interested in this particular subject and love to find out other people's views on the matter. Never been married and only had 1 relationship that lasted about 1.5 years so it could be naïveté on my part but in theory it seems as though there is no reason to have any moral objections if practiced between 2 consenting adults.

@ sparky: "how do you know theyre not laying there and thinking"oh for gods sake hurry up?"

"Of course it has occurred to me to wonder why that might be. But does sex only have to occur between 2 adults that love each other or something? Can it never be purely physical"

Wot on earth has that got to do with this thread, Vanilla?

sakura - that was in response to swc when she said

"Yes, exactly; it is common to place that condition when you enter into a sexual relationship. It is not usual to place conditions of exclusivity on other transactions in life. Has it never occurred to you to wonder why that might be? Does it not suggest that perhpas to say that it is acceptable to trade sex is in fact to ignore something fundamental about the nature of sex, and what it means to people?"

and to some people sex can sometimes mean just that, a physical release.

I can agree with the premise of one to one, sex for money between consenting adults of sound mind, in a basic sense, however I wouldn't respect a man who paid for sex, just like I wouldn't respect someone who didn't care about animal welfare in food production etc. It's basic morality.

However you cannot put personal freedom to do what you like above the undeniable harm that prostitution causes on a global scale, that's why we have society, to say basically what is and is not acceptable.

The fact that prostitution is legal is pandering to a minority of men who like to be able to pay for sex, 10% of men use prostitutes, if the figures are correct, less than half are married.

Which other minority group of such a small amount can you think of that are facilitated in this manner? I'm racking my brains trying to think of one tbh.

one night stands with someone you've met at a night-club or wherever are sparked by mutual attraction, the thrill, a sense of abandonment, a potential for future friendship/sex/relationship, or indeed for no other reason than raw sexual desire itself...all of which have nothing whatsoever to do with prostitution

yep-i agree sakura

Mal: at the risk of sending this thread in another direction, other minority groups might be certain religious groups which have their 'needs' catered to through state schools?

But what about men that might not be able to do that? Maybe he is disabled or cripplingly shy?

please dont make exuses for disabled men.
disabled men dont need people to make exuses for them.
exusing them is like seeing them as inferior to others-they are not.
disabled people are equal to others.

as for shyness-doesnt everyone start off shy?
what is so wrong with shyness thats its seen as ok to go with a prostitute?

VCC - sex with another person is not a basic human right and should never be considered as such.

It's hugely insulting to suggest that disabled people can't have normal sexual relationships, whether in the form of casual or long term. I've worked with severely learning disabled adults and they are encouraged to have relationships which include safe sex.

Even very physically disabled people can have very good sex lives without resorting to "paying for it".

TBH, probably because I live in a developed country and have yet to experience discrimination on account of my gender I struggled to see the effect that this has on how women are viewed in wider society. Maybe if I lived in a poorer country that attracted sex tourism I would feel differently... But I wonder if it is simply unavoidable that women will be sometimes viewed as sex objects by some men? And is it possible that people will ever cease to exploit this in one way or another?

True... and you're right it's not a basic human right either.

However we do supply people where there is a demand with many things that aren't basic human rights...