Calling all prostitutes and former prostitutes on MN, as there seem to be a few around right now...

[Aitch]

I'm curious to know how it makes you feel to see threads on here from wives and girlfriends etc when they discover that their husbands etc have been visiting prostitutes? even if you are happy in your own jobs (and i hope to god you are somehow, because the alternative is intolerable), how does it feel to be confronted with the downside of your work on these pages?

(i think it goes without saying that the men are culpable in this scenario, but am looking for some insight into how your work squares with sisterhood etc).

to be honest he wouldnt expect sex of any description, i would quite happily oblige though and have suggested that i satisfy him even when Im not 100% simply because I enjoy doing it and vice versa. to be fair he has refused on occasion because he realises im a bit under the weather and then we have had fantastic sex when we are both feeling up to it.

no one is entitled to sex whether married or not but if you feel its a chore and your other half feels entitled to have it when he/she wants regardless of how you feel then your relationship is in trouble in my opinion. That is when teh sex is more about you than about the person you are sleepign with which really shouldnt be the case in a relationship where there is love. Where is the spark and the wanting to be together if it is chore? a chore to me is washing up, hoovering not getting into bed with my great love and enjoying him and he i

never mind a fly on the wall on a nite out bloodymary could you imagine the tips you would pick up! lol

you should consider some sort of a training course Manda! id say you would be booked out for weeks

apologies if you have answered this on another thread Manda, but are you a mother? (not everyone on MN is).
How old is/are dc? What will you tell them about how you earn a living? Will you stop at some point because of them? Or will you carry on until you just don't want to be an escort anymore?

"Where is the spark and the wanting to be together if it is chore? a chore to me is washing up, hoovering not getting into bed with my great love and enjoying him and he I".

I'm in total agreement with you there. I can still happily shag him senseless after 28 years together.

isnt it great? dont get me wrong we have our issues like any couple but sex isnt one of them, its actually something that we both have in common, high sex drive and a willingness to experiment

Quite often the sort of men who expect their wives to service them sexually are the sort of men who would not pay for sex.
Actually, a man who makes a big deal out of not paying for sex ever and who makes very negative remarks about sex workers, is a man I would be inclined to avoid. I would be inclined to think he uses force, deciet, emotional blackmail or Rohypnol to get sex when he wants it, instead of money.
Some men, like some women, don't want to have sex unless they are in love with the person they plan to have sex with. Others (male and female) see sex as something they like to do for fun, a lot or a little.

Unfortunately some people have this very deep conviction that there's such a thing as 'too much' sex and that it's vital to restrict other people's access to it, because if people with high libidos actualy find a way to get as much sex as they want, with other consenting adults rather than being made to 'control themselves' or 'be patient' for endless dates then.. er... bwaah! Maybe the sky would fall in

Feelings, here are mine:

If a man sought a prostitute for any reason I would instantly think that he was pathetic and deluded as most of the men I know who have used one are under the illusion that he was special and super in bed. I would also think he saw women as some sort of commodity that could be bought and sold. I would think a prostitute didn't have enough about her to do something better with her life....

Cheating is bad enough but with a prostitute, that seems like actively seeking to cheat and betray.

I have three children DS is almost 16 DD1 is almost 14 and DD2 is 12.

Only my son knows what I do. The girls aren't emotionally mature enough yet. I will introduce it as "I go out to dinner with men etc" and let them come to the rest themselves. I believe that telling them is the right thing to do. If nothing else, I would rather they found out from me than from someone being vindictive.

I don't think many women would show up for a training course. lol
A lot of women see women like me as a threat, so they're not likely to want to pop in and take my advice. Also, all people are different. The most important thing I could tell anybody would be to have good communication in the bedroom. That takes all of three seconds.

I always assumed that I would escort for a few years in my twenties and then retire to another mainstream career. However, I enjoy it far too much. It's not just the money. I work far less than I did when I was younger, not because I don't get the booking requests, but because I just don't feel the need to rush around and I enjoy being home as much as I am, especially now that I look at my children and wonder how much longer before they go off to University or whatever.
I think I'll just continue until I don't enjoy it any more. As I said to a client when he asked the same question recently, don't be surprised if I'm still on the go and advertising on vintage vamps when I'm 80.

As always I agree with you sgb - just not on the definition of 'consenting'.

Makes you wonder though with all the websites now available to link up with people why prostitutes are actually needed at all? Ah but that would be because some men actually get the kick out of paying for it? Back to the old equality cliche again? But obviously not Manda's clients?

Hi,

Another escort here, putting in her tuppence worth. I'll probably repeat a lot of things said by mandmumu.

Most of my clients are married, I'd say over 80 per cent. I assume most of them are simply not getting enough at home. We rarely discuss their marriages and certainly not unless the client initiates such a conversation, which he is unlikely to do since obviously he's not going to relax fully with his wife/marriage on his mind.

Bear in mind that quite a few of the men I see are in their fifties and sixties, thus one can assume their wives are of a similar age, so their 'stories' about wives who no longer have sex with them because of particular medical problems are probably often true, much as it may surprise you. One guy comes to mind whose wife (post-menopause) suffered sexual problems and rather than seeking medical advice or help, simply retired from the intimacies of marriage altogether. This is common.

A wank is not the same as having sex. Many of these men have enjoyed years and decades of a loving and sexual marriage and then it has disappeared. They do not want their marriages to end and it is nothing to do with keeping the cook and housekeeper. They adore their wives and children but want a hug and a fuck sometimes. It's a gloomy though to hit middle age and have potentially twenty years of an entirely sexless marriage looming ahead of you.

This is not a way of absolving men of their responsibility to their wives but you have to ask yourselve, what are the options.

• He can't make his wife have sex more often or at all and would not want to anyway because he'd normal and decent.

• His wife is content with little or no sex and will not engage in any discussion or action in bettering their sex life.

• He doesn't want to have an affair because his relationship with his wife is fulfilling in all other respects.

• If he openly suggested visiting a prositute his wife would likely hit the roof and the marriage could well be in danger.

What would you honestly advise that man to do? Go to the bathroom and have a wank? Most of them have spent years doing that already before they get anywhere near me.

Ok, terrible confession. A man came to see me a little while ago, nothing to look at and very full of himself. He was shagging away and telling me how wonderful he was (yes, really), when he said "I can go on for ages, me ex used to say that I gave her triple orgasms". I immediately thought "Christ! you must be absolutely loaded" and had to suppress a fit of the giggles.

Some people really shouldn't be encouraged.

is there really a vintage vamps website? Wow! That's rather cool... I prob qualify!

I did see a guy in his seventies a few times who was open about the fact that he was married. He said that when his wife hit the menopause, she told him that he could "forget all that kind of thing" He lasted 20 years or so and then decided that he didn't want to shuffle off this mortal coil without ever laying in a woman's arms again.

He really was a lovely guy.

Yes there really is such a website. Last time I looked the ladies on there ranged from age 40 to 75.

There's a woman in her 70s who comes over regularly from the US due to popular demand. Most of that demand comes from men under 30 apparently.

watchingrain - so why not become a sex therapist for the older generation? Again this is what punters tell you - easy option?

The idea that 'friendship' can be bought - is it not what we tell our children to avoid? You only continue the service as long as the money is passed over - no true empathy (a real human trait) here.

I have a take on prostitutes, shemales and ladyboys.

My husband was (unbeknownst to me)liberal and very well informed in his use of all of these.

As his mother said to me, 'He is a man of the world UA.'

There was clearly nothing I could do to prevent him seeking out amenable totty.

All bow.

So off he went, all 43-plus years of him, to get sex in Thailand.

I have copied and kept many of the distasteful details of the shags he enjoyed.

I spoke to the young girl he loved up in Cambodia.

Her English was poor and she was devastated to learn that he was, in fact, married with a small baby and two other young children.

And I was devastated on her behalf.

The unpalatable fact is, there are very very many men in the world who want to screw other women and who don't have the sensibility, desire or need to connect the hell of such a betrayal with the subsequent existence of their wives or children (or male lovers).

They just follow some dysfunctional animal instinct.

They are to be pitied. And avoided.

And the women who service them should be paid handsomely for it.

I believe strongly however, that it should all be much more open.

There should be an offical sex register for people like my ex husband and a sex register for people like Manda.

I do have empathy. I'm quite close to some of these men, in many cases we have known each other a good couple of years.

However this is still my job. I need to pay my rent. I hope you enjoy your job but however much you did so I wouldn't expect you to do it free.

I wouldn't attempt to set myself up as a sex therapist without some kind of psychology or counselling qualification. Anyway I'm not offering 'therapy', just fun, intimacy, conversation and an understanding ear.

The problem with a sex register is the stigma attached to prostitution. It wouldn't just follow me everywhere for the rest of my life, it would effect my family as well.

Weak argument manda. very weak.

Oi! Watchingrain... Is that you? Like would I have been invited round to the back to watch sommat swing?

PS I will sometimes go out to a 'civilian' dinner with clients I know well and trust, ie no money changes hands and no sex occurs (and we go dutch at the restaurant!). I've made one very good friend in particular and we don't have any 'bookings' at all any more, but do go to the flicks and out to lunch regularly. No he's not married.

Stand up for your profession. Get a good PR firm on board, make the most of the zeitgeist and start eradicating the 'stigma' from your profession.

You are using a jurassic excuse.

We are trying to remove the stigma, but it won't happen overnight. To be honest, we end up fighting the radical feminists who portray us all as deluded victims, unable to make decisions for ourselves.

Quote:
"PS I will sometimes go out to a 'civilian' dinner with clients I know well and trust, ie no money changes hands and no sex occurs (and we go dutch at the restaurant!). I've made one very good friend in particular and we don't have any 'bookings' at all any more, but do go to the flicks and out to lunch regularly. No he's not married."

sounds like a usual night out to me. In many other professions, you swap sources, stories, contacts etc.

There is nothing special about not fucking.

Manda, you are not for real. You're not even amusing.