Calling all prostitutes and former prostitutes on MN, as there seem to be a few around right now...

[Aitch]

I'm curious to know how it makes you feel to see threads on here from wives and girlfriends etc when they discover that their husbands etc have been visiting prostitutes? even if you are happy in your own jobs (and i hope to god you are somehow, because the alternative is intolerable), how does it feel to be confronted with the downside of your work on these pages?

(i think it goes without saying that the men are culpable in this scenario, but am looking for some insight into how your work squares with sisterhood etc).

I beg your pardon? Not for real in what way?

Then again, original humour in the 'far north of scotland' is in short supply.

Having filmed up there many times my sympathies are with you.

I still don't know what you mean?

Oh dear.

I beg your pardon

(a very prostitute-based-in-the-far-north-of-scotland thing to say)

Not for real? Not amusing?

Just explain what you mean

Oh, here we go again.

I beg your pardon is just good manners.

What am I this time? A man?

See I have flipped from the start of the thread as I hate OW whatever always footing the blame for a mans inability to keep to his vows etc, it's the man who chooses to betray his vows in this way.

As we are talking about on this thread, and tbh I felt uncomfortable with the whole abuse the women were getting.

But I can't help but find the whole tart with a heart thing nauseating and false, with their counselling services to these poor down trodden men.

I don't even thin it's for real tbh.

Really don't understand the sex register idea?!

What would qualify a man to be on it, exactly?

If your OH wanted underage sex in Thailand/Cambodia he should be on the sex offenders register.

Otherwise he's just another guy with a roaring libido and perhaps some pecadilloes that you don't share, UA. Of course it's devastating for you and his family to find that out, but would it have been different from your perspective if he went to a high class call girl in your locality?

It always amazes me that people are willing to accept a WG who is all about the money, with no real compassion, but if you admit to being human, you are accused of being a fake.

I have stuck around on here because there are folks who are genuinely interested in asking question and just interested in a different perspective (or whatever), but I am really starting to lose patience with being attacked and accused of trolling and fakery.

What do you want? A blood sample and a letter from my Mother?

That should say "some people"

But Emmy there is simply never going to be a resolution of the dichotomy that i) a man loves and cherishes his wife and, ii) that same man feels the need to visit a prostitute.

I don't know any 'poor, downtrodden' men, I just know men who need an easy, stress-free outlet for their (very ordinary) sexual desires.

Of course they are not all nice guys. I've met guys I'd never see again on the grounds of their misogynist attitudes. I get called by idiots every day and I have literally hundreds of blacklisted numbers, guys I've never met but who are (on the phone) rude, disrespectful, abusive or quite clearly out and out sociopaths. No doubt the majority of them are married and all I can say is God help their wives.

But to sum up: for every freak that I have the misfortune to encounter, I meet twenty guys who are very ordinary, decent individuals.

manda fk the begrudgers as I say. There are some bitter people who just want to judge etc. Morals are selective. I personally find what you do alot more honest than some of the eg. footballers wives out there who claim to love their husbands, which Im sure some do, but they run off with their mates or sell their stories.

What you do is a job, like any other, the stigma comes mostly from women who like to consider themselves above "all that sort of thing" but never stop to think what that sort of thing is or the person/persons behind it. You dont have to justify what you do for a living for anyone. I think its great that you are generous enough to come on here and risk all this criticism to give an honest point of view.

deb

Thank you deb

I think I'd been lulled into a false sense of security as regards the "you're really a man pretending to be a prossie" thing.

I could possibly understand it if I was here telling you all to become escorts. However, I have stated that it really isn't for everyone.

The thing is, I could provide my web address which would provide my email and people could check who I am, but I have a feeling that two things would happen.

1. Someone would report me for advertising
2. I'd get a hell of a lot of abusive email

Btw there are also plenty of guys who hate what they do. I once saw a very young client who was due to get married but had little experience with women and wanted one last hurrah before his wedding. He 'tried' but couldn't go through with it and went to pieces about what he was doing once I was there, naked in his bed.

I also see one client who is in a LTR and who tells me every time that he just does not understand himself or why his desire for sex with other women is so strong. He thinks of it as something he has to fight daily and on occasion he loses the fight. He feels guilty as hell and speaks of his partner with the utmost love and respect.

Yeah that's confusing but not really a contradictory statement. We all do things we feel shitty about afterwards and we all do them consciously from time to time. If we had the upper hand over our own minds all the time we'd be 100 per cent happy people and there'd be no need for MN because we'd never divorce and never scream at our kids or need to ask Am I Being Unreasonable and we'd never get depressed.

id love to check out your website. you sound like an intelligent generous person who has made the decision to come onto a site like this and risked all the criticism and judgment to tell the truth and your side of things.

deb

Well, you could google Amanda Inverness, but don't expect anything too spectacular.

Watchingrain you strike me as the sort of woman who could give a good answer to the last post here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1045952-to-think-that-truely-feminist-stance-on-prostitution-is-to?msgid=21433045

Hmm... I keep forgetting the brackets

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1045952-to-think-that-truely-feminist-stance-on-prostitution-is-to?msgid=21433045

Cripes I've not read any of that thread, wouldn't dare jump in on page one million! I'm here lurking on 'Relationships' because I was recently dumped lol. Couldn't resist having a (namechanged) say on this though.

checked your website out amanda, fair play, very professional looking

do you get mad emails sent to you? or are most of them alright

deb

WG and MM I am really impressed by your openess and you both seem like educated, mature women. I guess we all have stereotypes and continue to do so but it has changed my perspective. I don't like the idea personally and I couldn't do it myself and hope my OH wouldnt but even though we don't agree it's important to see the real woman behind whatever she does.

They are mostly all right. I ignore text speak and any "I wanna fk u. Hw mch?" type of carry on.

The ones that make me laugh are the ones who tell you that they are millionaires and want to pay you huge amounts just to go to a party with them or some such. Like I'm about to believe that?

Wouldnt you die laughing though if it turned out they were millionaires - can you imagine the morning after conversation with your best mate after that! lol

can I ask do your parents/siblings know? Im thinking of my dad as Im writing this who is quite old fashioned (he is older than my friends dads by a generation). He once apologised profusely for ruining my underpants in the wash and I had to sit there trying to keep my face straight while he tried to explain away a thong! lol

Im personally a fan of legalising prostitution as in the Dutch way. I think it safer and more honest to have it out in the open, therefore people dont have to be the in area where is happening if it offends them.

deb

How do you decide what to believe when a man tells you something? How do you really know if anything the men are telling you about their lives is true? Millionaires, yes, you could probably sniff out a fake, but people who have massive personality disorders and who have ruined the lives of their wives, reduced them to shells of their former selves, and then wonder why the sex, and the hugs, are not on tap any more -- how do you know you're not dealing with someone who is a true psycho when 99% of the rest of humanity probably couldn't either?

Coming across to me on this thread is an inkling of why prostitution is seen as such a low occupation and has been through history, apart from the projection, which is a strong element -- the lack of loyalty (yes, Aitch) to other women, the lack of real respect for the importance of the relationship aspect of the lives of all but the most maladjusted, ultimately the lack of respect for men themselves; if someone feels miserable about what he sees as doing something utterly wrong, betraying his beloved wife, why feed his habit? And take money for it?