Men going for younger women

[Popzie]

I'm now at that age where I notice my male friends only consider dating ladies ten or more years younger than themselves. I'm married, so have no real need to be concerned, but my DH's single friends will all expect me to buddy up with these ladies and I'm starting to feel like a bloody fossil! I don't want to mix with 20 somethings as I'm pushing 40. When the boys all beging talking about football I'll be expected to 'bond' with them - they will think I'm a relic! Why don't men find women their own age interesting and attractive? I know dating younger women is an age old practice for men, but it's just beginning to hit home that this is how it's going to be from now on. My social circle seem to be really 'bad' for this - the latest is that my 42 friend is dating a 26 year old. Come on - I can understand it to a certain extent, but I'm beginning to feel as if it's the norm rather than the exception nowadays.

Hmm.. it is def. "different for girls"..as Joe Jackson sings. I do see why older blokes could see shallow benefits in seing younger women, but the vice-versa reasons are entirely different I suspect.

Belle - please tell me that those 35 year old guys are both attainable to you and interested in you over and above a lady twenty years younger than yourself!! Please tell me and reinstate my faith in the human race.

I'm 39 and have plenty of female friends who are 26. Why do you feel you don't have anything in common with someone who's 26?

Expat - funny you should say that. My DM WAS 16 and my DD WAS 22 when they met. Haha...

Yeah, but that was over 40 years ago, Popzie.

Still don't see 6 years a big gap in the scheme of things.

Think it's just as much of a hang up to have only dated people your own age as younger or older.

A person's a person.

yep expat - a person IS a person, and some people will be exactly the same in 10 years time as they are now. Depends on ability to mature well and that is def. very individual.

Expat - it's not me looking at them as different - it's the other way around. To them - living at home with their parents, going out clubbing every weekend and spending their wages in Top Shop - I'm long in the tooth and, I suspect, slightly imposing with all my worldly experience. They'd rather sit their and gossip about America's Top Model rather than discuss the Coalition's view on the Child Tax Credit. There are plenty of 26 year old ladies that I'd get on with marvelously, however they wouldn't be the same ones as my delighful single male friends would choose to warm their beds.

It is very individual. Just never really thought about it or noticed it. People have all sorts of criterion when they go out with someone, just see the 'nothing kills a crush faster than' thread.

Age, IMO, is just another one of those for some folks.

oooch! a bit judgey-pants there, popzie. Is that a clue to your problem??

'They'd rather sit their and gossip about America's Top Model rather than discuss the Coalition's view on the Child Tax Credit.'

Rumbled. I don't want to discuss politics with people I've barely met in general. It depresses the hell out of me, tbh. I'd rather shoot the shit and goss about America's Next Top Model.

My three best friends in the world are in their mid or late-40s. One is a grandmother who had her only child when she was 20, the other two are childfree by choice.

We don't generally discuss kiddie things together.

It's just not their milieu and when we're together, I'd rather get a break and have a little fun.

Six years isn't a big gap. It's not the gap that is the issue. It's the point that the vast majority of my single male friends in their late 30's will not consider a female over the age of 30 as a potential partner. I suppose I haven't been prepared for their beign such a rule in place. I expected variety. How I'd love one of them to introduce me to an inspirational 40 year old rather than a vacuous 26 year old. I probably gave my male friends too much credit as I didn't think this would be the way it'd pan out. It's just a bit disappointing and predictable I suppose.

Lord - what do you mean? At what point was I being judgey? I'm not saying I wasn't, I'm just not clear to where you were referring.

" vast majority of my single male friends in their late 30's will not consider a female over the age of 30 as a potential partner."

I am doubting this. Don't go to extremes to evidence a point, please? I am pretty sure a fanciable charming woman of 35-40 would be great in their eyes. You are wandering into a bitter stereo-type I fear.

Anyway, if you're happily hooked up I don't see where it matters what these guys do.

Don't hang with them them. Hang with people who are more on your own wavelength.

well the viewing habits and the ' I could be imposing' bit - they are probably thinking something else.

Lord - as quoted I said the vast majority of MY male friends. That is true - I don't know of ANY unmarried men first hand that are not dating a female at least 8 years younger than them. I wasn't referring to the wider population - only my first hand experience. However, yes I am wrong to say that they would not consider it, so apologies for that (although i've not seen evidence to the contrary).

ok popzie I do suspect though that the average age difference is much much closer than 8 years even. Maybe your circle is odder than the norm.

I'd love to agree, but it really isn't - not among the single men I know anyway.

It's goo that a lot of posters give these men the benefit of the doubt but I have to disagree.
Men like shagging young girls. It's as shallow as that.
Op I can see it's probably not much fun hanging out with 20somethings. Not only will you have less in common but it's hardly good for ones self esteem. No shame in admitting that in my opinion!

good not goo..
my dp is the same age as me and I'm starting to feel lie a fossil too!

Ive noticed in the past couple of years that three couples I know that have separated the man has met a 24-27 year old whilst their former partners were late 30's early 40's so I understand what you are saying. There's loads of us single women in that age bracket now!! and the single guys are going for much younger women.

Having said that I have been questioning why loads of my female friends (mainly through work) are in their mid twenties, am I odd to be socialising with them? a couple of friends my own age (40's) have actually asked me why I have such young friends, the answer being they are still able to go out and, what am I to do if Im single and have no-one to go out with!! I dont go to clubs, obviously but its nice to have friends of all ages, I think.

I have to disagree - men like the idea of exchanging secretions with young-er girls - the practice is entirely different.

but yes, hanging with 20 somethings must be awful. The energy, the carefreeness the non-judgementalism. There can't be any upsides to it at all.

I like my friends in their mid-twenties, I just tend to switch off when they talk about Hollywood bikini waxes and, how great Dirty Dancing is!!

I like playing out with younger girls than myself, in a group of women!

I just think the scenario the Op is describing, where all the girlfriends of her husband's friends are wag type youngsters apart from the Op herself who is probably a quite tired Mum sounds quite depressing to me!

I am not looking but I tend not to notice the very young ones. And nothing more attractive than an accomplished 35 to 50 year old......maybe I have always had that bias, though.