I feel violated - but should I?

[feelviolated]

Last night I got home quite late after a few drinks. DH was already in bed, and when I came to bed he started getting quite amorous with me. I wasn't particularly in the mood (very tired after long day), but when he started fingering me, I did respond positively.

It was looking like it would turn into something more so I asked him to stop as we didn't have any contraception and I didn't want to risk a pregnancy (I explained this as the reason). He didn't stop, but instead got much more vigorous with what he was doing, which started to hurt. I kept asking him to stop but he wouldn't. He eventually did stop when I push him off and shouted at him.

I was really shaken up and felt so violated. I was in tears, and I rarely ever cry, but it was just so awful. I just can't believe he didn't stop and ignored my requests. It reminded me of being date raped at Uni (even though last night's incident wasn't sex per se).

I spent the night in DD's room and this morning I am so sore from what he was doing - it hurts to sit down.

DH has apologised and said he thought I was only saying to stop because of the initial reason I gave (not wanting sex due to no contraception).

I just feel so violated. And quite frankly cannot abide the thought of ever being intimate with him again.

But is this an overreaction?

Thanks all for helping me get through the day. Am going to try to get some sleep now.

Oh FV, I don't know why the fact that you are a regular "helping" poster on this board seems to make it even worse, but it does. Because that means you've heard everything we've been saying before, maybe even said it yourself to other people. But when it comes to you being abused like this, you haven't got the strength/assuredness to just kick him in the cock and know that he was being an abusive arse.

Glad you've got the room to yourself. Don't be rushed into forgiving, and don't ever think you should forget.

Want some unMNy hugs? (how cld u resist hun?) (((())))

FV...how are you today

Thanks for asking AF. Feel all muddled in the head like my life has turned into some kind of twilight zone. Have been away for work all day, so a good distraction and was able to separate my thoughts from this mess.

Gawd knows how this thread made you feel, but I hope you don't regret posting it x

Another regular poster had this sort of thing happen with her (now) XH. I wasn't sure whether to mention it, or even if my feelings about your experience were being coloured by hers. In her case it was a regular occurrence though she could never feel sure he was doing it on purpose. Given his overall behaviour, it's not unlikely. I'm still unsure whether to post this!
Oh, ignore me if I shouldn't have

No regrets AF. Thank you all.

You said stop, you said no, he kept going. He knew what he was doing and didn't care

All this "killing myself" and floods of tears is bullshit to make this your fault.

Don't fall for it.

Thanks Morloth. My head is such a mess.