The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Next Stop Sobriety!

[Mouseface]

Hello, welcome to thread number six!!

I'm Mouse and, thanks to these threads, I quit the booze on August 2nd 2010.

This truly is a fantastic source of support for anyone who wants it! Full of real, honest, everyday people who are all at different stages of quitting the booze, cutting down or being long term sober.

There are no judgmental 'know-it-alls' here, whatever your circumstances, you will be supported all the way.

Come and meet the rest of The Brave Babes........

And, as before, here are the previous five threads for those who would like to see how this all began.

JWN's original thread (the reason we are all here)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

My mum used to hoover around me Miss P

I am very jealous though, DH and I often talk about the day when DD will be teenager and we will have to wake her up!

My dad's trick was to come in to my room to empty my bin. But really it was to wake me up! It drove me nuts!

Hi MissP, I usually find that a bacon sandwich does the trick, dd couldn't resist that. But she would often go back to sleep atferwards! Failing that put some burning toast under your smoke detector - horrible noise.

Moomin, glad to hear that you are feeling better today. I remember all too weel that horrid sick feeling and the craving for salty sugary carbs. No wonder I look healthier now .

"All too weel" - whay am I? some kind of mad scottish person?

Morning venus!

Lucil

it was in that church on the green, Thursday I think - no idea what its name was - I was only there on a pilgrimage to see where I spent the first two years of my life!

There will be loads of other meetings, both in Plumstead and elsewhere in south london, and even there no one acted like this was a regular occurence - so don't let it put you off!

(Also, if you can honestly tell me you've never drunk in a pub where violence is part of the landscape, not even once, then I'll be truly impressed ...)

Hi Desire Happy September to you too!
I think I can hear movement upstairs, Teenager now in upright position!!

"it was in that church on the green" - useless descripion, in retrospect.

It was very near Admaston Road.

Thanks for the tips Venus and MsGee x

Haven't been around for a bit and have missed bits, BUT,

Mrs Gee, Hats off to you for surviving the weekend.

Miflaw is right about the God thing. There is no mention of Jesus in any aa literature, so we could just drown in semantics. If it is a religion (very much open to question) it is certainly nothing to do with Christianity. If you want to look at the history of aa, you will find, (as Miflaw has already said) it was born out of the Oxford Group and is steeped in religiousity because it started in America in the 1930s, and was of its time. It is a big red herring to get worried about the word, 'God'.

I was going to post that having a couple of glasses of wine does not mean you are back where you were. Could you not think of it as trying to stop smoking? You have a cigarette, hate yourself, but see it as a setback, not a catastrophe. And so, Mouse, you are just tailing off, not relapsing.

I am looking into the history of aa and it is fascinating, but it is history.

Jwn, I am jealous of your shiny house.

Miflaw will put me right, I am sure, if I am wrong. He is a thinking aetheist. Forget the God bit.

Mrs Gee, could you feed junior pure squeezed orange juice, or mixed with strawberry, which is absolutely delicious?

Any luck Miss P? Bacon sandwich sounds so tempting!

Forthe - LittleMsGee is very anti-fruit. We have been trying to tackle this for many months but the more things I try the wiser she is to my efforts - she can now sniff out fruit and fruit juice in water, smoothies and stews. I can't believe I am writing this but I think a lot of her problem is her need to control everything ... particularly around me. Yesterday and last week at nursery she went just fine and at home its a major incident. (although whoever suggested bubbles - thank you, that worked a treat last night).

I am beginning to wonder if the whole poo saga is mainly about control. I know this sounds extreme for a 2 year but she is very, very strong-willed. In fact its the only thing that people ever comment on (never isn't she cute or funny, or polite - all of which I think she is ... its just the stubborness that gets noticed).

She's a mini me isn't she. Shit.

Hear, hear Forthe!

Also, if you read the Big Book (or the Traditions) you will find that one of the very first members of AA was initially a vehement atheist. The other (hardline Christian) members at the time didn't like it but they couldn't kick him out because of Tradition 3 (google it!)

It is also thianks to him that the Steps etc have the proviso of "God as we understand Him" - ie no obligation to be Christian or even religious, you define your own Higher Power, as long as it works for you.

I have been reading an interesting thread about whether alcoholism is an illness and whether it's genetic or whatever (have seen MIFLAW over there fighting our corner ) For those of you who have children is it something that you worry about? Whether they will go on to develop the same thing? Or is this an example of projecting and isn't something we should worry about??

I hope I haven't scared anyone off - or depressed them with the question!!

Moomin, it is something I have worried about - is there a genetic link that makes it more likely that my dds will be alcoholics or is there a cultural influence that means they will find it more acceptable? Either way there's nothing I can do about it, except to be in control of what I do. If I can break the pattern then perhaps they can see than even if there is a genetic link, the alcoholic can stay sober.

Thanks. I know exactly where you mean.

Having been drinking even more than usual as DP is on holiday from work.
I think it's knocking off the effects of my anti-depressant as I've been feeling so down, irritable and miserable.
And I haven't even tried to stop drinking yet.

Thank you for that venus. I think it's definitely a time for the Serenity Prayer as I cannot control anyone's drinking...

Hi Luci, how are you feeling today? Have you had a drink today? Would you be able to try to get through today - one hour at a time if needs be... We are all here for you x

Red ... well not until about 10 minutes ago, when I realised that DD had similar control issues.

I worry that DD will repeat my mistakes on a number of levels - not just drinking. However, I recognise that she is 50% DH who is very different to me and I can see those elements of her countering my input. But yes, I think that that is projecting on one level - but also perhaps part of the reason that many of us are here

My family have a lot of issues with alcohol but in a very jolly, don't worry, we all do it sort of way. I don't really have an opinion on the genetics of it but I don't think that it helps to grow up in a family that normalises drinking to excess as simply having fun and which laughed off my worst behaviour in this way was overly helpful.

MIFLAW / forthe - I am taking in all the AA messages and they are getting through. I am reading things online but can't see me really engaging with it in terms of going to meetings etc. I just don't think I could.

"but can't see me really engaging with it in terms of going to meetings etc. I just don't think I could."

Thinking is wonderful - but why don't you actually try and then you'll know?

Mrs Gee, do you have a copy of Toddler Training? I will not part with my much battered copy but I will willingly send you a new copy. I will not send you my copy because I need it for dealing with big people. 'This is what we are going to do, brothers!'

Aged 2, my ds refused to eat a single pea, which he had to do to get 'pudding'. The threat was carried out and he sat and watched 8 other toddlers having ice-cream with a 'I win' look on his face. He hasn't changed much. Your girl will go far. Do print out this thread for her and give it to her when you are a Gran.

What if you gave up worrying? Surely it all comes out in the end? Bugger that for worry. I was worrying about you and the ils
and if you can cope with ils, you can cope.

Serious about 'Toddler Taming'. Cat me if you would like to take me up on it.

MIFLAW I know that whatever I say you will have a great answer about the barriers being surmountable. Which they are. There are numerous meetings near to be at times I could attend. I'm not saying that I never will but right now, whilst what I am doing is working I just know that I won't go.

Forthe - yes I do have one, I bought it for the sleep bits but I'll find it and have a look, thank you for reminding me! Your son sounds just like my DD. She will never cave in. Last night I threatened to take away her new duvet if she threw it out of the cot again (and return to her blankets, am not so harsh to make her sleep uncovered!) ... 15 minutes later she calls me upstairs and hands it over with a request to go back to her blankets. Sometimes she requests to have time out rather than do what I want her to. Aaaagh.

"I just know that I won't go." More than fair enough - but not at all what you said.

Can't and won't are not at all the same thing. Especially if you won't go to AA, it is important for your continued recovery that you stay very honest with yourself.

Mrs Gee, I have posted a list of alternatives to aa further up. Miflaw and I have both made it quite clear that no one is pushing aa as the only solution. There are some bits of aa that are intrinsically useful, and they are not under aa's monopoly.

eg, one day at a time.

eg, the serenity prayer, which predates aa.

eg, one drink is prone to lead to cracking open the second bottle. If so, then don't.

If one drink...

You are right MIFLAW. I think that perhaps I worry that I am seen as not really serious if I don't do the whole AA thing.

I know that I won't go because its simply not a priority - that I guess it the very honest answer. Being here and having support of DH seems to be sufficient for now, so I don't feel the need. And I don't think its for me, although I don't know why. Its not that I think I am different / better, I just don't like the idea of a group thing.

That said, from what I am reading, I do think that there is a lot that I can take from the readings and MIFLAW's secular steps!

I am still getting used to the idea that I am not God. baby steps