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Original poster

Finally added keylogger - now what to do

32 replies

sittinghere33 · 15/08/2010 19:10

I know there are a lot of posts about keylogging and I do not want a debate on the ethics of this. Just wanted to chat to someone so to speak.

A potted history. Before I got engaged i found some chat flirt page on my now husbands computer. I felt sick he said he would not so this again. On my hen weekend the same thing - devestated.

Yes I married him and although have got on with things and tried to forget it has always been in my mind.

We have a child and thinking about another. I decided to put on a keylogger for when i went out last night. I felt sick doing so but just want to know.

Anyway, lots of porn sites about teen girls. Clicks onto date sites and sex sites that find discreat partners although these were fewer and they did not appear to have click throughs to register.

I did have a few links which i have no idea what they are as they were just number liek httt/128.45 etc so not sure what these are.

A bit of panic though as he had looked at keylogger and then i can see he has deleted his windows chat so not sure what was on there.

Just not sure what to do. I am not going to do anything until i have evidence. At the moment i feel maybe its just porn which i can live with as its a man thing isnt it really but unsure if he wants to take it further with anyone...

;(

OP posts:
commeuneimage · 15/08/2010 19:27

Poor you - how scary. You'll have to wait and see what he does. What do you mean 'he had looked at keylogger'? Might he know he's being monitored?

RumourOfAHurricane · 15/08/2010 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
sittinghere33 · 15/08/2010 19:46

Well i noticed that he had downloaded how to remove keylogger and then got rid of the chat so assume he either suspects me or thinks it was put on due to a virus.

Been so hard today as he is normal and i have all this going on inside. Nightmare!

OP posts:
atswimtwolengths · 15/08/2010 19:52

Yes if he's downloaded 'how to remove keylogger' then he knows it's there.

If there's any chance he will be violent if he realises you've put it on, then get rid of it immediately.

The http references are websites. If you copy them and paste them into the address bar, you will see websites. All web addresses really have these, it's just that we don't see them.

atswimtwolengths · 15/08/2010 19:53

The other thing is how did you pay for this keylogger? Be very careful if it's going to show up on a bank/credit card statement.

S445 · 15/08/2010 19:54

I hate to say this but if you distrust him so far as to install a keylogger, surely the answer to 'should I be with this man' is already answered? Sad

I'm really sorry you are having this trouble. I hope you escape from the situation really soon x

PeachesnCream · 15/08/2010 20:34

not sure why you married him without discussing it with him first. it clearly is an issue for you, so should be discussed.

the 'teen porn' aspect of it is the most disturbing part.

UpsyDaisyDo · 15/08/2010 22:10

The teen porn rang alarm bells for me too. What a horrid situation to be in. :(

maristella · 16/08/2010 00:02

how young were these teens advertised as being? if they were portrayed as being under 16 then report him to the police

Angree · 16/08/2010 07:11

Putting aside the reprehensible act of adding a keylogger argument.

As somone has said above, If the trust in your relationship has deteriorated so far that you have done this. Then you really do need to have a chat or if it is over, leave.

Secondly, I don't know who gave you the advice to put a keylogger on your PC, but that is very poor advice.

Keyloggers are very often used as backdoors for viruses and Trojans so that others can gain access to your PC, Its entirely possible that some of those addresses that have been identified are actually the keylogger sending out packets of information to its creator and you've willingly put something like this on your PC...Shock

If I were you, I would get a Anti virus and a firewall program on your machine, and change any passwords. If you do any home banking on your PC, I wouldn't enter the account until it is totally removed.

If you need a free Anti virus and Firewall, these two are pretty good.

www.comodo.com/products/free-products.php

free.avg.com/gb-en/download-avg-anti-virus-free

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 16/08/2010 07:16

OP, you need to decide what your boundaries are. You already know that he's lied to you about his activities, and that you promised to marry him on the basis that he would cease sex chats - and then he didn't. In fact he did it again on your hen's night, and you still married him.

So before you confront, or snoop some more, I'd suggest that you sit down with yourself and decide what you will and won't tolerate. You don't currently seem to know.

Original poster
sittinghere33 · 16/08/2010 07:33

Thanks for replys. I hope my computer is safe due to keylogger. I just downloaded a free trial for a week...

He would never be violent and the main problem here is that he is such a brilliant husband and father in every aspect which is why I want to be sure of what he is doing.

I know what I wont tolerate and that is dating sites and meet up sites for sex. Porn sites are ok.

The confusion I am having is to what sites he has visited. Yes i can see the porn and have seen a few dating ones but unsure as to whether he has just clicked on them or registered/chatted with people.

I know if i have the chat he could just say what he wants so I need to know 100% whats going on.

Oh and teen porn is girls about 18-19 not young girls....

OP posts:
foxy123 · 16/08/2010 09:10

so wouldn't the keylogger tell you his password for his email? If you log into his email you may see registration confirmations or other emails sent by the sites...

Angree · 16/08/2010 09:32

Seriously, take the keylogger off your PC. You have no idea who has access to your PC information now. I'm not just being alarmist here, but you have added an executable file that allows some unknown program to gather information. Is it being sent anywhere else?

emmyloulou · 16/08/2010 09:40

Listen to Angree, even if I thought my husband was up to no good I would never put a keylogger on the family pc where I do banking, shopping and other valuable docs.

It's asking for trouble a few months down the line. I take it he is not very IT savvy if he was he would have d/c it from the net and then taken it off. Even if that meant a fresh install.

Original poster
sittinghere33 · 16/08/2010 10:26

Ok i will take it off today. Just dont feel much further forward. I did log onto his email and nothing there. Might just blag it with him that i know all...

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 16/08/2010 10:29

he is such a brilliant husband and father in every aspect

Really?

I don't think so. And I think you know this too.

Your posts all sound like you're trying to rationalise his behaviour to make it more acceptable for you. But it's not really acceptable is it?

What kind of role model is he being for your child?

Original poster
sittinghere33 · 16/08/2010 10:47

He is the above. He is loving, kind and really takes care of us both. I am not some mug is trying to rationalise his behaviour I am an attractive confident person who would never stay in a realationship if there was cheating going on.

Who really knows what their husbands view online. As i say porn is fine as i have enjoyed to look too so im not being a prude about that. Its the possibility of something more i worry about. So far no real evidence as the chat/sex sites did not appear to have any click through or registration so unsure of next move.
I am trying to follow this through with real evidence so i can decide what to do - if just porn i am fine if not then i will get him to leave.
I dont want to confront him as he could say anything to me...

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 16/08/2010 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
sittinghere33 · 16/08/2010 11:07

This is why i need to know what he is looking at. As if porn i am ok with this as we discussed this before and i said that this is fine with me.
It was just when i saw a few chat sites come up i wondered if there were more to it and so not acceptable if you follow me.

I agree lying is not acceptable at all so if this is the case he is not the person i know.

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 16/08/2010 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
sittinghere33 · 16/08/2010 12:04

No not at all and he doesent go out with the lads much (who are all lovely guys) the only way he could do it without me knowing is through his job which is not 9-5. He could say he was at work when he wasnt...

OP posts:
Original poster
sittinghere33 · 17/08/2010 08:29

I have investigated further (takes me a while as not great on comp) and it seems to me that when he clicked onto the date sites he did not register or seek anyone as this would have come up.

It is all porn which i am ok with.
I am away tonight so this is my last little snoop and if the same I am cool and relieved at this as we did agree that this was acceptable so fingers crossed.
To be honest if this is the case i feel much happier and dont feel the need to snoop again....

I'll let you know tom!

OP posts:
emmyloulou · 17/08/2010 09:52

So you still have the free keylogger, you don't know the origins of on your pc, potentially harvesting info and sending packets of info out elsewhere.

Oh dear.

Original poster
sittinghere33 · 17/08/2010 13:16

oh well, it will be gone tomorrow. Only one more day.

OP posts: