Finally added keylogger - now what to do

[sittinghere33]

I know there are a lot of posts about keylogging and I do not want a debate on the ethics of this. Just wanted to chat to someone so to speak.

A potted history. Before I got engaged i found some chat flirt page on my now husbands computer. I felt sick he said he would not so this again. On my hen weekend the same thing - devestated.

Yes I married him and although have got on with things and tried to forget it has always been in my mind.

We have a child and thinking about another. I decided to put on a keylogger for when i went out last night. I felt sick doing so but just want to know.

Anyway, lots of porn sites about teen girls. Clicks onto date sites and sex sites that find discreat partners although these were fewer and they did not appear to have click throughs to register.

I did have a few links which i have no idea what they are as they were just number liek httt/128.45 etc so not sure what these are.

A bit of panic though as he had looked at keylogger and then i can see he has deleted his windows chat so not sure what was on there.

Just not sure what to do. I am not going to do anything until i have evidence. At the moment i feel maybe its just porn which i can live with as its a man thing isnt it really but unsure if he wants to take it further with anyone...

;(

If you're okay with the porn (I wouldn't be, but I'm not you) and he hasn't registered on the dating sites, there probably isn't too much to worry about. It's quite likely the porn sites open the dating sites as advertising.

Keyloggers are spyware, and so are a lot of other useful programs. If you Googled for some user reviews on software review sites, it's probably safe. I've got one on my computer, for no better reason than I'm too lazy to fill out forms more than once! It stores on the data on my machine, nowhere else.

I forgot the most important point. Do you know why you were so keen to find out what he's up to on the computer? Have you always felt like this?

And another techy bit: With the IP addresses, like 123.456.789.012, you can paste them into the address bar & see where they go - but it's MUCH safer to simply Google them :)

Please can someone xplain about keylogger? I have never heard of this? How effective is this? Just asking. Thanks

sittinghere33 - you should finish this relationship now. It has no future. You have no trust.

Irrespective of what he has viewed online, for you to do this (keylogger) indicates such a lack of trust that there is little point in continuing, in my opinion.

Were I him, I would drop you like a ton of bricks.

Sounds harsh perhaps - but you have already shown you don't want to repair this relationship...you want evidence to support its cessation.

Barmyarmy, I'm not sure I agree with keylogger either but maybe OP wants evidence to support NOT ending her relationship?

Unless she is extremely jealous or untrusting of her partner, there must be a reason for her to resort to doing this. If she doesnt have any facts, just instincts, it's hard to sort out a relationship (ending it or repairing it) based on intuition alone. She needs to talk to him but what will she say if she has nothing to go on?
And if he is up to somethings hes not likely to just come out with it.

My ex had been using my computer to arrange shagging dates with women every weekend, and i was oblivious. He was being extremely nasty to me at the time and convinced me that he was stressed and needed space (hence why he kept disappeareing at weekends) when I asked him what was going on. And he made me feel terrible for even questioning him about our relationship.Its only when I accidently found things on the computer - all the sites he had registered with and dates he had arranged that I was able to confront him with the truth. This had been going on for at least a year. So being too trusting got me nowhere!

As long as OP knows when to stop using the keylogger before it becomes an obsession.

Sittinghere What did you find? Are you OK?

Thanks, I am to check results from last night and then going to get rid of it. Singledomisgod you are so right.

Since he first did this before we got married I chose to go ahead and move forward. However I always regretted just directly asking him what was going on. As you say he is not going to just ome out with real truth.
He is not nasty/violent etc and is so considerate and a loving husband i wanted to put it behind us. We had our first child but it does still stay in the back of my mind.

We are deciding to have a second child which is my reason for doing this. I want to know if to stay in this relationship and stop the little doubts that creep up or end the relationship with no doubt i am doing the wrong thing.

I know most dont understand and for saying i would be droppped it silly. There is good reason for doing this and if he found out i know he would understand why.