privacy and human rights,and good manners within marriage

[alwayssearchingforanswers]

I take issue with posters on the relationships forum about looking at partners phones and laptops for evidence of affairs.
This strikes me as fundamentally wrong and against human rights and the dignity f the partner,not to mention poor behaviour on the part of the snooper.
I was always taught never to open other peoples mail,read diaries,even read postcards unless you have asked.
I find it ridiculous that people on here encourage women to sleuth their partners phone and pc when they have no right...affair or not.
Marriage is a relationship,just because the relationship has gone wrong does not mean you can stoop to foul means....you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Pathetic,actually

I don't find the OP absurd, just very lucky not to have been in a position where she has been pushed to this.

It's not ideal either way. I have a friend who bugged his wife as he found out about an affair, she agreed to Relate, he then found out she lied through Relate and was playing around again, so he bugged her illegally. He found out that she had never been faithful in twenty years and thought of him as a good Dad and a provider for the family but was not in the least bit interested in him sexually. So, on the one hand, he was freed from this and free of the sadness he felt at her sexual rejection that she usually responded to his advances with (and she had made him feel guilty for his normal sexual desires while she was getting all sorts elsewhere!). However, he is quite traumatised by what she said about him and how she spoke about him. You might say it would have been better if he had just called it all a day when he found out about the second affair but he was terrified of losing his children and really thought that marriage should be for life. The truth set him free here but also shattered his trust in people and in himself.