brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

actually miflaw - i have a vision of you which is rather 'morse' like!

Trinity, I left a message for you at 8.44.

xx

Trinity hello, nice to see you.

And you desire. Great to see you took control.

JWN

I am not sure that that is entirely positive.

Wasn't as easy as it sounds Mouse:( Could have done with the company but realise that we have been friends for over 13 years and drink has always played a large part in our friendship, would we be friends without the drink or do we enable each other??

desire

My very best friend on the whole wide world called last night. We live in different countries.

I answered the phone 'perfect timing!'

She said 'why? You just poured a large one?'

I told her that I haven't had a drink for 9 days. She was shocked and asked if I was ill. She asked if I was pregenant. Then asked why on earth was I not drinking then?

When I explained to her that I was hitting alomst 90 units a week in an average week, she was utterly shocked.

You see, she is my drinking buddy. Of many, many a drunken night. No more detail than that but I shudder to think of the scrapes we have been in.

So, is she my best friend because of our drinking or becuase we are truly friends.

I can now say the latter. She has offered to come over, to go to a spa day, to send me a book on detoxing etc. She asked if DH was onboard. How he was about my not drinking.

Funnily enough, she has cut back a lot. It seems that when we were together, we fueled each other.

I believe that the other parts of our lives will keep us friends until the end of time as these will come to the forfront, rather than take a back seat to the boozing.

I hoep that same can be said for you.

Apologies for the shocking spelling, as per.

mouse, she sounds like a good friend!! my bf is just teh same, kind, supportive and pleased that i am looking forward to a 'brave new life'

miflaw - i used to quite fancy morse, strong, silent fairly classy! (i am an outragous flirt, even without booze! )

That was a lovely post about your best friend mouse. It's very similiar with my best friend. I finally told her about AA etc this weekend and she was so good about it. She sent me a text day saying that she thought I was really brave and she would see me soon. She has been unaware of how bad things have been as she lives at the other end of the country. She was a real drinking partner in crime when we were younger but she - unlike me - has grown out of it and is able to have a drink without getting plastered!

I have said it before (but will say it again!) the only people who have a problem when I say I have stopped either have issues/ concerns about their own drinking (so if I stop they might have to look at themselves) or they are not really friends because they just liked me being around making a total tw*t of myself!

Mouse - what a good friend :). It warmed my heart reading that post.

Was saying to dh that I'm reaaly worried about telling people I'm not drinking. It is what I do, and a standing joke among friends that I am always the last one standing. Have a social thing this Saturday and don't know how to handle it. Plus, what if it's boring sober?

Right, Shred time, shower and then lunch.

Be back later. Hopefully a pound or two lighter!!!

Red - that was clever, you answered my question before I posted it :o

toclear - i am not finding social occasions boring at all - in fact, i most proberbly made them boring for other people before, you know 'oh, no point talking to jwn, she is pissed again and yapping about rubbish'

another thing - you are projecting about saturday - its only wednesday!!!

Toclear

Trust me, you're boring drunk. You'll be MUCH more fun to be around sober.

I find social situations almost impossible to deal with without drinking. That's a big part of the problem. I don't care what people think of me drinking or not drinking. I am just so shy, awkward and uncomfortable without alcohol.

Mouseface, your friend sounds ace.

Hi toclear,

I usually find that the beginning of such events is fine and pretty good. Can chat and catch up. As people get more drunk I get more bored so I tend to leave as soon as I want to. I always have something to look forward to when I get in - whether it's a magazine, a book I am really enjoying, something on the TV or a Double Decker so that I feel like I have a 'treat'.

In terms of telling people you are not drinking just say whatever you are comfortable with:
already hungover! (although that would never have worked for me as I was proud of the fact that I could drink however many nights in a row. Nice.)
antibiotics
something on early the following morning
headache
diet
or admit there is a problem with alcohol you are addressing.

MIFLAW usually has a great list! It's your choice though x

"strong, silent fairly classy!"

i can go for that, definitely.

I was thinking more in terms of "Morse - wrong side of 50, always bloody right, and right up himself."

And, say what you like about me, but I am NOT over 50.

There we go - LOADS of advice already!

Oh but I am a charming, witty original drunk doncha know?! :o

Will stop projecting.

Actually that's not always true - with good friends of mine, I'm fine without a drink. It's with people I know less well, eg my husband's friends, I'm so shy I just want to curl up and die.

"Oh but I am a charming, witty original drunk doncha know?!"

I used to be one of those too.

When I was 21.

Sadly, I did not stop drinking until I was 28.

"Projecting" is worrying about bad things that might come true.

What we have here is what we might call "fantasy".

"I am just so shy, awkward and uncomfortable without alcohol."

I bet that you are all of those things WITH a drink too.