Brave Battling Babes - Booze No More!!

[Mouseface]

Well, thanks to the refreshingly honest and inspirational JesusWhatNext - this is the third thread, for the battle to beat the booze for all of those who are on the path to do so.

Some are sober, some are trying to be and some are still drinking.

I'm Mouse, I'm new to this and I'm scared. So, come and join the journey.

Morning Trinity. You are far too honest, I was going to tell Cat that Nigel was JWN's secret lover, and that she couldn't bury him under the patio so she baked him in a pie.

Welcome to your day 3. Did you say your carer was coming agin tomorrow? How are you getting on with the tasks you were left?

I am really lucky beccause we have someone who comes to clean. But the best thing about it is that it focuses us all on tidying up the night before she comes. So dp has to clear up his rubbish, and dd2 has to pick up her clothes. I tell her that all her clothes have be in the drawers or in the washing basket - anything left on the carpet will get hoovered up.

Another new face here

I have a drink problem. My story is probably very similar to many of you on this thread. Started drinking as a student, was always first/last at the bar, life and soul of the party...

Grew up, had kids and began rewarding myself with a bottle of wine at the weekend.

The weekends have start getting longer recently (i.e from thursday - monday) and I just have no off button. I've been looking for excuses to start earlier and earlier in the day "oh it's sunny, oh I'll have a beer while I do the gardening (I hate gardening), oh there's an england match on (I hate football, oh it's someones birthday....."

Recently I've started to hate drinking, and yet I hate not drinking. I hate drinking because it makes me spend money that I don't have, it makes me feel ill, it saps me of energy and motivation. I hate not drinking because I guess I've conditioned myself to see it as a treat.

I didn't drink on mon/tue of this week - but I binged on weds/thur/fri. I bought a 75cl bottle of gin on wednesday and by thursday night it was all gone.

I didn't drink yesterday and I don;t want to drink today - however in the back of my head I have a little voice telling me how nice it would be to crack open a bottle of wine later on.

I will never be the person who can just have one and leave it. As soon as I have that first sip I am gone. So I am going through the process of acknowledging that I need to stop this.

Good luck to all on this thread.

Hello I am. You say you have not been drinking much this year. Does that mean being able to have a couple of glasses at a time, a of bottle of wine spread out over a week. Or is it nothing at all interspersed with occasions when you drink a lot?

If it is the latter, then you will be used to having days without, so you know that you can manage that, day by day. What triggers the 'starting and not being able to stop'? If you can crack those times, you're well on your way.

Good morning lightbulb (I can't call you lowenergy, although I know exactly how drained of energy you feel after drinking, perhaps eventually you can be an energy efficient lightbulb ).

Acknowledging the patterns you have got into is a really important first step. Do you think other people are aware of the extent of your drinking or do you think you have been keeping it hidden?

Anyway welcome on here, I hope you'll find lots of support.

wasindie lovely to see your middle of the night post.

I was up at 2am, dd had just got home from her waitressing job and she found a spider in her room, so I had to go and rescue her. I was half asleep, incoherent and staggering aound like a loon. No way I could have got my act together to post on here. You're doing well wasindie.

Hello to all the others. Have a lovely sober Sunday.

I do try and hide it - all the classic things like spreading out my wine/gin buying so that shopkeepers don't think that I have a problem. If (when!!) I buy 3 bottles of wine I tell the woman in the offie that they are gifts for people (even though the chances of me giving booze away are nil!)

My DP is a drinker too, however he can have a bottle of beer, or a glass of wine and stop. I can't. And when we have booze in I am always calculating how much is left and worrying that it might run out.

In terms of wider family/friends I guess I'm defined by 'liking a drink' - at parties and get togethers even if I go with the intention of not drinking after a few minutes of 'But we bought this wine especially for you...' I cave in.

I've started to call my binges 'benders' when I think about them. That's what they are. Bender is a horrid sordid word and it describes my horrid sordid habit.

It's like some mornings a little light clicks on in my brain and I know that I'm going to go on a bender. I know that it's not a good thing to do but once I'm in that place I won't stop.

I've never talked about this before by the way. Thank you for listening.

good morning - might have to change my name to mrs lovett!!

IAM - oh dear god!!! you poor little love!!
as a mother your post my blood run cold!(take a slap on the legs! ) i know just how you feel right now, i have doen many similar things the thing is, it is now time to look forward! i think the best you can do is say I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY! 'never' is a long time and tbh sounds too final, you have to live and enjoy each day, not worry about the fact that you 'cant' drink cos your said 'never' iyswim? your bf sounds a decent sort! the sort worth hanging on too!

lightbulb! tell that little voice to 'fuck the fuck off'!! you are doing really well!
sunday is always a bit of a struggle for me as i usually started quite early in the day (well, it is SUNDAY! you know! ) so i keep really busy, keep shaking the thought from my head and try and enjoy a family day - so far my stratergy seems to be working!

btw - i would like to tell all the newbies that i have not found one negative point in NOT drinking, the only thing that has not improved is my spelling!

Can I join in?

I am a mother of 2, who drinks a bottle of wine most nights. Every morning when I wake up I tell myself today is the day I stop. And by 5 that evening I am telling myself to have a drink, have earned it etc etc.

I am really worried that I won't be able to do it. I don't want to give up for good, I want to be Mon to Fri with no alcohol and then enjoy a little at the weekends.

lightbulb - i too have a self-destruct button, sometimes i have pushed it on purpose it appears to be running theme in many of us on here!
you sound like you are being very honest in your posts, ime expereince that is the only way to go to beat this illness (it is an illness, not a weakness!)

How do you actually do it, the first day I mean. What do you tell yourself when it gets to wine o' clock and that bloody longing starts? I am afraid I won't be able to sleep tonight etc etc.

hi wine - join in by all means! its nice have you here - how old are your dcs?, mine is a dd and she is 18 and fab just do it a day at a time, maybe you will find that drinking at the weekends will be unappealing too!

it is really surprising me just how many women now feel they have a problem - this wine habit we have got into during the week is a real problem for society imo

Jesus (never thought I'd be talking to jesus on a sunday morning!!!) I've been lying to myself for a long time. If this thread had been running a year ago I'd have read it and thought that I hadn't got a problem 'cos I can go without a drink for a few days.

Recently I've been thinking about the person that I am vs the person that I could be. In the past I've blamed external sources for my 'failings'....but I admit now that there is only one thing holding me back in life and that's my drinking.

The fiver I saved by not buying wine last night will be going into a money box today. And the money that I'll save today will be joining it. Maybe this time next year I'll be a millionaire

Hello winebeforefood - I hope that you have a good day today.

Mine are dd's and are 6 and 8. Perhaps calling myself wine is not a great idea

Off to name change!

JWN, I had to google 'Mrs Lovett' and the description of her included this: "Her physical appearance varies from a slim and alluring beauty, to a plump, homely lunatic". Choose which one describes you best .

For those who are similarly ignorant, Mrs Lovett was Sweeny Todd's accomplice, who made meat pies out of the dead bodies.

For anyone who is new on this thread, this is a joke, and no-one on here has admitted to being so drunk that they have killed and eaten someone - yet!

It's me, couldn't think of another name for ages, so wine before food is no longer! I am now glass in hand, NOT literally!!!!!

wine - i just find something else to do with my hands! and keep telling the 'longing' to fuck off and remind myself that i dont really want to put poison in my stomach, you may not sleep very well tonight, in fact the first week you will feel fairly crappy, its the toxins coming out, i see no point in dressing it up - the thing is, after every sober day you feel so much better, so much more in control of your life that it kind of feeds itself the next day iyswim?

i think you will find that i am a slim and alluring beauty! (but only in my dreams!!)

I can not wait to be able to say I didn't have a drink last night. I really really want to do this. Thanks for the honesty Jesus, I prefare to know what's ahead of me!

Hello wine (posting before your new name is up).

You asked what we do when it gets to "that time" when you habitually start drinking. I have 3 tactics that I use: (1) something alternative to drink (usually something lovely and cold and fizzy and not too sweet e.g. grapefruit and tonic); (2) something to do with my hands (anything physical that occupies both hands, or that takes me away from the place I normally drink e.g. sewing or swimming or going for a walk); (3) something that occupies my mind so that I am not thinking about drinking or not drinking, torturing myself with images of a nice glass of .... whatever. That includes coming on here, getting pre-occupied in a project/plan etc. I also found this site recently online jigsaw which has been a good disctraction for me.

I've probably x-posted with lots of others who have other ways of distracting themselves at wine time.

jesus is right
I felt like shit for the first three or four days

but mentally felt great

then I fucked up on day 7

now I'm on day three and doing well

First thing I have to do is put dh's half bottle of wine out of sight, every time I walk into the kitchen I see it.

right everyone - i have loads to do, dds bf will be here in a minute and i am still in my nightie (dont want a jeremy kyle moment do we? ) so i will be back later, just for today remember

WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!!

Glass, a couple of weeks ago I was on her in a panic 'cos I'd bought a bottle of wine and it was sitting in the kitchen 'calling' to me.

With the support of people on here I managed to get over the desperate craving and took the bottle and locked it in the garage. I also texted dp to tell him there was a surprise bottle for him so that I couldn't change my mind.

Yes it is tough at times. But it is so good to wake up without a hangover, without feeling crap, not feeling guilty, not wondering where last night's empties are hidden, not wondering where I'm going to get today's drink from etc.

God venus, that sounds like me.

Right, today for the first time in years I will not drink!