Does this text sound suspicious to you or am I being paranoid? (Suspected affair)

[worriedbeeagain]

My DP sent me a text which sounds odd. It says "Txt/call me when / if you can.x"

What worries me is I think it might not have been meant for me. DP does sometimes text me with messages meant for his mates by accident. If he wants me to call him, he sends a text saying "Call me babe". He never says I should text him.

I have no idea what I should be texting him about anyway! I only saw him a couple of hours ago, and he'll be back later! (He's at a mates house just down the road).

Unfortunately I didn't get the text until about an hour after he sent it, but even so when I called he had no clear reason why I should call him, he just bumbled on about what they've been talking about, and tried to explain why he'd said I should text him (because I'd been putting DS down) which makes it sound even more suss IMO.

Every so often I worry that DP might be less than faithful.

I try not to let myself get carried away with worrying as there are good reasons why I could be wrong. I really worried about it in the past, did loads of snooping and he came up with a relatively clean bill of health. So I decided to get on with enjoying my relationship with a good man, and not to let what could be irrational fears destroy things. (I had a jealous ex so I know it's not fun to be on the receiving end!)

But my fears were revived the other day when day I came downstairs and he was obviously doing something suss on the computer as he tried to hide it and acted very guilty. But it could have been porn, not necessarily anything to do with an affair.

I'm going to have to confront him as this is eating me up, and he has arranged a night away from home this weekend. I'll have to say something before then or I'll be going mental with worry. But I'm worried if I have put 2 and 2 together and made 5 I'll be damaging our relationship.

what would you do?

TIA worriedbeeagain x

I think your safe. Check bank statements if you want but on the basis of one text I wouldn't confront him not without other evidence.

Aarghh. How frustrating for you!

Obviously the text is not remotely suspicious in itself, however age & experience have put me firmly on the side of trusting your intuition - unless you know you have ishoos, which you haven't.

What's the night away from home all about?

I'm worried about confronting him though as when I confronted him with a similar worry near the start of our relationship, he lied to try to wriggle out of it so I'm not sure what good it would really do.

I would say trust your instincts - that is always a good indicator and if it 'doesn't feel right' then you are probably wise to question it!

Good luck x

He going to see a friend in another town who's moving away. He'll stay the night and drive back the next day. On the surface it's fine.

The thing is he's not great at covering this tracks. The problems we had early on in the relationship is that he took a condom to a work do. Understandably when I found it I was less than happy. Cue one long conversation (once we'd got through the lies) that actually sorted some thing out and cleared the air I thought. But it has left me understandably suspicious! I'd like to be able to shake it but I can't. I've never been the suspicious type before IYKWIM.

But the things is why would he say "text me"? I've got nothing to text him about?!

And it worries me that he took the trouble to explain why he wrote that when I called him. It's like he was trying to talk his way out of it because he knows it's odd IYSWIM.

Thanks for your replies people. It's good to know that the jury is out, perhaps I am just being paranoid.

What possible reason would he have for taking a condom to a work do?

"The thing is he's not great at covering this tracks" what I mean by that is things like this ...

When he took a condom to the work do, he took it from our supply at home, and we only had 2 left! That's not exactly the behaviour of someone extremely sneaky is it? It makes me feel that if he is having an affair it'll be obvious eventually.

he's up to something. ask him for the number of his friends house so you can call him whilst he's away. If he's up to anything dodgy he'll come up with a million reasons why you can't have it.

Is this friend having a party? Do you know other people that are going? Or, if it's just the two of them, can you ring the friend to wish them well with the move, and winkle out a few details about their weekend plans?

No good reason. It was at the beginning of our relationship. We moved on because

1. it actually wasn;t used.
2. his apology was convicing

trust your instincts here....you know him well,you know how he behaves....it sounds suspicious to me.

Can you check his phone when he goes to sleep tonight? If, after he spoke to you there's another sent message saying something like, 'need to talk, nearly got caught' or something similar then you know you were right to worry.

Hmm.I'm a great believer in trusting your insincts,so I wonder why you are quite so worried and that makes me think that maybe he isn't trustworthy.The condom thing is really telling,as why on earth would he take one if he wasn't planning/hoping for an illicit shag? I think you need to snoop very carefully.Do you know the friend he's visiting at all?

Apologies if someone's already said this, but I'm in a rush to get to bed!

Check his phone. I thought my DP would never cheat on me, until I looked at his texts (honest mistake - we had the same model of phone at the time). Saw plenty of evidence of naughtiness. I held my cool and checked his itemised bill, so I could get more of a picture of how long things had been going on for and when etc.

He's still my DP and we're fine now. It's bloody great amunition when you need it though!

So, don't be disheartened - try to get as many solid facts together, then go in all guns blazing, if you have to!

Fingers crossed that it's nothing to worry about.

Its the X at the end that bothers me.

Say nothing.

Watch, listen and learn.

Did you post about the condom thing at the time? I think I remember that thread.

Thanks everyone for your replies. It really helps to talk it over. Gotta go now he's on his way back. Just had a chat on the phone. I do love this man, I really hope there's nothing in it.

I'll be back to chew the fat a bit more tomorrow no doubt.

Night ladies xx

I did BitOfFun. It's here

NN.

Hope us doubters are wrong.

We had a poster on here before whose DP/DH took a condom in his washbag to a work do. Are you the same poster?

If you've got doubts, get on that phone of his and check his bills.

I remember your thread about the washbag, it sounded v odd indeed. I woul be checking his balls with a fine toothcomb.

at grapeandlemon suggesting checking his balls with a fine toothcomb!

Yep, but gal is right!