Old Bags No More - The Brave Babes & the Battle with the Booze

[MoominMags]

Well, here we go ladies (and MIFLAW)! The new thread to follow on from JWN's 'me and alcohol have ruined my family'. I hope no one minds that I decided to go with 'brave'? I just think that it describes us!

As a quick recap, I am 33 and on day 22 of sobriety (on this occasion!)

Thanks Algee, no idea how I should be feeling so it's reassuring to know. Totally understand what you mean about the big 'secret', it's been like living a double life drinking and now a different kind of double life not drinking, I hope I can keep it up, I don't want to go through this twice

nor me!

hi - at first i nearly choked on the words, and a few times i thought 'oh shit, theres no going back now, suppose i decide that im not an alcohlic afterall!' ( bloody nitwit that i am!)
after about a week, i decieded that i was going to tell people as and when i needed to, not to make a song and dance about it, just so that the people i care about knew how important it was to me that i stayed sober.

without exception, everyone has been totally fantastic (i say that, one girlfriend was a bit of a pain, but i think she probs is an alkie too )

i do not feel ashamed of being an alcoholic, but i do feel ashamed of my behaviour while i was drinking, i think they are two separate issues really - i do think that alcoholism is an illness, a total bodily intolerance, an allergic reaction almost iyswim?

i see no point in hiding it or being ashamed of it, it wont help my sobriety if i feel that i have a grubby secret that i must hide for the rest of my life. i wont sing it from the rooftops, but neither will i shy away from it - if people judge me, dont want to know me, whatever!! it will be their problem, not mine!

sorry! , that was a bit of an essay, feel free to moan now!!!

ah yes, the no going back thing. Yesterday when I was throwing my toys out of the pram, one of the reasons I was sooooopissed off was that I wanted to tell everyone that, in fact it was all a mistake, and that I had just had a moment of attention seeking... yeah, right.

I've had quiet support too, no 'oh my gods', nothing like that just quiet aceeptance (relief??) and support.

As I was socialising at the weekend with people I don't really know yet, I just made myself designated driver and said that I mustn't have even one as I don't have an off switch. That feels like telling people I'm a drunk, but in fact, it's totally accepted, and nobody batted an eyelid...

...only an hour and twenty. best log off and prepare myself...
see you tomorrow.

well, end of a good day!! got loads done at work - a trip to hong kong may be on the cards, keep your fingers crossed for me!!!, i have never been there, always wanted to to, and now!!ohhh you never know!

dd actually came home for about an hour this evening!, since starting the summer holiday her life is one long party! lucky her!, i well remember the summer i was 18, (sex and drugs and rock and roll!! but dont tell her that!! )

dh has just told me how much happier he is, how he loves me more than ever and is so proud of us - makes everything so worthwhile! - he is a fantastic person though, i have put him through hell at times and he hasn't given up on me, it makes me feel very humble, im not sure if i would have been so understanding if the position were reversed, i dont think im that good a person

anyway - i really hope to see ALL of you in the morning - dosen't matter if you have had a drink, it would just be nice to know that everyone is still about!

Grrr! Just typed a long in-depth response, nearly finished then the computer crashed! Stupid machine.
Not got the patience to say it all again now, will try in the morning.
Night all
P.S. no alcohol again, that's 2 whole days!! (Hope I'll feel proud in the morning, right now I just feel bad tempered again!)

ahh wrinkly - time to learn the art of feet stamping while in bed!!!

goodnight - sleep well and my word!! 2 whole days!!! good on you!!!see you in the morning

Well done wrinkly. Don't worry about how you feel about being sober, we will celebrate and feel proud for you.

Hope you made it to your meeting algee, let us know how it went. Doesn't matter whether you liked it or didn't like it, here you can be honest.

JWN, I went on a business trip to HK about 20 years ago. Wonderful place, really exciting. Hope your trip comes off.

I have been thinking about the topic of telling people that I am an alkie, and I am not sure that I am being honest with myself. My parents are rather elderly and I think it would really upset and worry them. When I saw them last week I was offered a drink which I turned down, I just said that I wasn't really drinking much these days. Feel OK with that. BUT, I spoke to a friend today who wants to meet up for a girly chat (usually done over several bottles of wine). She is going to text me some dates which I guess will be a Friday evening. I will probably re-arrange to a time when I have a good excuse to not drink, but if I am being honest with myself, I think I am avoiding telling her so that I still have the option of drinking. I am very glad that I have decided not to drink, but I don't think I could stand it if others were suggesting I shouldn't drink. Not sure if it's dangerous ground and my experience yesterday should teach me a lesson. I'll think about it some more.

Won't be around much tomorrow but will be thinking of you all.

Wasindie!!!!

Yay yay yay!
Congratulations...what else to say? so happy for you, what a slog, but what an amazing fabulous joy for you both. Hope dp recovers well; that's a lot of baby to not a lot of mummy! Nauture and us women folk are pretty fabulous I think!

Enjoy yourselves, lots and lots of love and happy sober vibes!!!

You can guess what i thought of the meeting...

Sitting my last skills test this morning will try to log on this afternoon, but have picnic to prepare; some of the mums have organised a 'farewell play' in the local park for dd after school today.

Day 14, here I come!

Congratulations Wasindie!!! Enjoy your sleep!

Made it through another night, slept slightly better feels tons better this morning & have actually bothered to put some make-up on!
Venus I now exacly what you mean although it's still early days for me - I told my DH and eldest DD on Tuesday (when I sent the wine back) - although I didn't say "I'm an alcohohic" - I said the drink is controlling me, I'm not controlling it so I'm going to sop. Hven't yet been in a situation where I'll have to explain to other people, I don't go out much (saddo) and did most of my drinking at home anyway.It dawned on me yesterday that I don't know how to relax without a drink, in fact I've never been much good at relaxing anyway, always something that needs doing and a guilt complex about sitting down "doing nothing" when there's always something waiting - my mum was always busy so i think I've inherited it from her?

Stop not sop!

wasindie - CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is such fantastic news. And really good weights for twins - your poor dp!! I am so excited for you and your family. And all done sober - well done!!

algee - come on give us a clue about the meeting. You might have hated it or really enjoyed it!

wrinkly - well done for getting through another day.

Re telling people, I have just told people as and when I have needed to. Kind of when it comes up naturally. No one has said, 'Good God, I had no idea' or similar. Everyone knows but has been too polite to say, ha ha! venus - I know exactly what you mean about not wanting people to suggest you don't drink!

Anyway, it's great to hear from everyone. Would love to hear from the people who have been quiet recently - curry, chinkof?

Day 29!

wrinkly - so pleased that you are feeling better today!

Hi !!

Can I join ?? I drink 1 bottle a night 5 night out 7, I cant carry on like that, I feel awful !

Hiya devil! (Is that OK for the short form of your name?!)

All welcome here. No judgements!

Have you decided to try to stop or are you cutting back?

It's always great to have more people on board!

Welcome, wine. You are in the right place.

One thing I would say, though - and please don't take this the wrong way, it's not intended as an attack on you, more a bit of thinking out loud - is that, after a bit of time sober, I no longer agree with the sentiment expressed in your name.

Wine (or beer, or whisky, or turps) ISN'T the devil as far as I can see. It brings a lot of people great pleasure (okay, maybe not turps) and is just a liquid in a bottle.

In my experience, wine wasn't the problem. The problem was ME with wine inside me, because wine didn't bring ME great pleasure - or rather, it did, but I continued to use it long after that had ceased to be the case. Though I have never used hard drugs in my life, I understand only too well the expression "chasing the dragon". You always have to chase your high, because it is always elusive and never quite where it was the last time ...

I share this simply because, all the time I thought wine was the problem, then the solution was not to drink wine - but beer would be okay, or Pernod, or scotch, or white instead of red, or wine after 6 but not before 6, or wine in the pub but not at home, or wine in company but not alone ... And then it turned out that the wine never changed, it was me that was the problem. And then I started to get better.

Anyway, welcome again.

hi devil - you have joined on a very special day!!! WASINDIE!!!! i just had a little weep!! oh how lovely, you lucky lucky girl!!! what a wonderful life awaits you, your dp, and the most precious little people in the world! (if it dosen't out you - waht are they called?)

wrinkly - sounds like you are on the upward trend now!

algee - so, did you love it or hate it?

miflaw - a older chap was talking about 'jake' what is it?

Jake? As the name of a drink?

I think it might be what we could euphemistically call a "prison drink". It might involve shoe polish or brasso ...

From the interweb ...

"Jake is actually Jamacian ginger extract, marketed and sold as a medicinal tonic for any number of ills. It was available in the United States since about the time of the Civil War, and Americans quickly realized that the nearly 70% alcohol content made "the jake" a way to skirt local or federal laws banning the consumption of liquor. Compared to whiskey, jake was often cheaper, and often had a higher alcohol content. Many drug stores sold Coca-Cola or coffee, which people would then use as mixers for the jake, often using a side room in the store to concoct their drink.
Jake sold between 1920 and 1930 caused no health problems. In the spring of 1930, however, the manufacturers of jake decided to add a new ingredient, an industrial chemical called tri-ortho-cresyl phosphate.

"The new ingredient was added to help adulter, or water down, the jake. It was tasteless, soluble with alcohol, and cheap. It also turned out to be highly toxic, particularly to the spinal cord."

A 'jakey' in Scotland is a street-drinker/ alky I think?

JWN, I am so excited about the babies too!!! (Would love to know the names too if at all possible wasindie but totally get that it would 'out' you!)