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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My heart is breaking

80 replies

Ladywolf · 12/07/2010 22:05

My husband of 11 years has just told me, he doesn't think he loves me any more. we have two beautiful daughters, the eldest is 3, the youngest just turned 1. He doesn't believe in counselling, he says he's just got to work things out for himself, but that he is unhappy with me. I don't know what to do, or even why i'm writing this except i can't talk to anyone else about this. I don't want him to leave, not just because of the children but because i still love him. I feel sick all the time since he told me, and my heart is hurting so much. Is there anything i can do?

OP posts:
CarGirl · 12/07/2010 22:08

Has this come out of the blue? I wonder if there is an OW, an emotional affair going on whilst you've been very busy being a mum to such young children?

All you can do is look after you, be strong and ask him to move out so you can have the space you need.

colditz · 12/07/2010 22:10

tell him to get out while you think about whether you want to be with him.

Don't leave it all up to him. You're not his pet.

Greyclay · 12/07/2010 22:16

Ladywolf, I am very sorry for your pain and you are clearly in the early stages of this revalation.

I know others will be along soon to help but from what you've posted, it seems to me that this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with whatever is going on with your husband. He says he's unhappy with you but I'm willing to bet that he is generally unhappy and pointing fingers at you because he appears unwilling to look inside himself to see what is really going on.

Be kind to yourself, and try not to take too much of what he is saying right now on board. There is probably more going on in his head than you know at the moment. Are you happy with the way things have been? Try to think about what you want and try to start making plans to protect yourself and your daughters.

I'm sorry if my advice seems scattered. Keep posting. Other more experienced women will be along soon.

1stTimeMummy · 12/07/2010 22:17

I'm so so sorry not to have any constructive advice. But I just wanted to send some hugs. You still have a baby to look after! The last thing you need is drama from your DH (or not so 'D' now)

I guess the only thing you can do is look after yourself and your little ones. Get some support from friends or family. Ask him 'why' he is unhappy and try to catch him at a calm moment to ask again if he would consider counselling. Ask if its worth throwing away 11 years? Is he so unhappy that he is willing to put his children through a break up?

Otherwise you could always get really angry and tell him that if he doesn't love you then pity about him and its his loss! Then tell him he has to leave and put on a massive show of how fabulous you are and how well you are coping. Use him for childcare so you can get out and about....... and if you so wish, hope that this makes him reconsider.

Coincidentally, I am struggling with my own DH at the moment. I have a 3.5yr old and 1.5 yr old and we have been together for around 12 years. Hmmmmmm coincidence. These men are very high maintenance!

1stTimeMummy · 12/07/2010 22:19

Oops sorry. Cross posted with the above posters. A bit repetitive.

Notquitegrownup · 12/07/2010 22:21

Wise words from Colditz. It's the last thing you will want to think about now, but when you have cried and shouted and gone without sleep and food for a few days, you can, and will start to feel strong. You will be strong for your girls and for yourself, because you deserve much much more than this. He is a fool throwing away his beautiful family for - a middle aged crisis? another woman? whatever.

It is possible to rediscover and renegotiate a relationship. Some men do discover, once they have the opportunity to see that their wife can cope without them, that the grass isn't greener, and that what they really want was there all along. But then, it will be up to you to decide whether he is still what you want.

You have been busy raising your girls. He has had to take a back seat for a while and isn't centre stage. Right now you are hurting terribly, but you will become angry at some stage. Use that anger when it arrives to remind yourself that you have your two beautiful girls and he has chosen to walk away from all of that.

Where is he now? Has he moved out or is he still with you?

AnyFucker · 12/07/2010 22:36

You poor thing

Have a look here

poshsinglemum · 12/07/2010 22:37

What an idiot to throw his life away like this. I hope he realises that he has made a huge mistake-and soon.

ja9 · 12/07/2010 22:39

oh poor poor you. i've nothing useful to say just wanted to give you a

thinking of you.xxx

littlecritter · 12/07/2010 22:43

This was me about 2 weeks ago. I got the I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You bullshit. What it actually meant was: I don't want to lose my creature comforts but I'm shagging someone else. Take control and tell him to leave while you both decide what you want and remind him that he's not all that as he closes the door.

Good luck. I hope you don't go through what I've just been through but if you do, you'll be just fine. Keep posting.

Sorry if I sound bitter. Really am thinking of you because this sounded so like me 2 weeks ago. But if you could only see me now!

Ladywolf · 12/07/2010 22:44

Thank you all for taking the time to post, he hasn't moved out. It did come out of the blue for me. He says he has been feeling it for a while and doesn't know what to do, he has been running through the options of leaving in his mind but he loves his daughters. I asked him if he'd been trying to think of ways to stay and make it work, and he said well i haven't left yet doesn't that tell you something. I'm not sure it does, when i'm feeling low i'm grateful he hasn't left. How pathetic am i? The brief flashes of anger i can muster leave me thinking, why isn't he trying harder to fix this. I feel so sick.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 12/07/2010 22:47

I would ask him to leave because it's too emotionally confusing for you to have him there. Also if you find out he's not being 100% honest with you and want him gone and he then refuses to go then it can get very very messy and even more painful.

Will he go to relate with you?

secunda · 12/07/2010 22:53

I think it may be the fact you have small children, it can put a lot of strain on things. Apparently the lowest point in a relationship is usually when you have child/ren under 2. I think telling him to leave is too much. At least he felt he could tell you. He hasn't said he actually wants to leave, and he may be able to work things out alone and realise the positives. IME most men would rather eat their own head than go to counselling, so don't take that personally.

He is not necessarily banging someone else. Relationships have ups and downs and maybe it's a down at the moment but it will probably come back up. Shutting him out, telling him to get out etc. isn't going to achieve anything except pushing him away. If you still love him and he is generally decent it is really worth sticking at it for your children at least.

msboogie · 12/07/2010 23:19

So, you have been paying a bit too much attention to your 2 babies and poor diddums husband has been feeling all neglected by this mummy-person that you have become?

If only he could have one wifey for looking after his kids and another one for seeing to all his needs. Wouldn't that just be ideal!

Out the door with him and let him have a think about what he stands to lose - I agree - take control and tell him you're not sure whether he is man enough for you any more.

PrettyFeckinVacant · 12/07/2010 23:37

My DC were 7, 5 and 2 when my H came out with the same shite that your H has come out with.

Apparently I was giving the DC too much attention. Apparently we didn't go out on our own enough. Apparently I wasn't happy all of the time.

Turns out he was shagging a 29yr old!

Just be prepared for more revelations.

Be strong and look after yourself.

Keep posting - I found it so helpful

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 13/07/2010 02:04

Ladywolf I have never known a man say this to his wife and there wasn't an OW. I'm so sorry. If you've been around Mumsnet for a while, you'll know that too. I wish with all my heart that these idiots would change the script once in a while, but the same hackneyed old tale trips off the tongue again and again.

They do it because of extreme moral cowardice and partly because they are romantic idiots who believe their own rubbish justifications for having what is invariably just another tawdry affair - that they are in love with someone else and therefore that must mean they don't love their wives. But they don't want to admit even to themselves that they didn't start losing their feelings for their spouse until the OW turned up. So they pretend to themselves as much as anybody that they have been feeling this way for a long time, otherwise they wouldn't have had an affair.

Your H doesn't sound any different at all. He would rather you believe that he has lost his feelings for you "by accident", or as a result of your parenting focus. He won't want you or anyone else to know that the not insignificant other love interest played a part in all this.

So don't put up with this charade one minute longer. You will get no truth from him - he is too far up his backside pretending to be a decent man who is being honest about his feelings. The only reason he won't see a counsellor is because a trained third party would spot the presence of an OW a mile off, because like us, they have heard it all before.

Do some digging and don't delay. I'm assuming he's guarded with his phone and laptop, so look there first when you can prise him away from them. Look at his phone bills if you can. If he's not registered for online billing, find an old phone bill with his contract number on it and register him. Have his phone with you when you do this, in case they text to say they are doing this (some don't, though). If he's already online, go hunting for the passwords.

Look for second phones and start to reconstruct the missed clues and the story of your life in recent months. Have a diary or calendar to hand. Recall late evenings home, trips away, occasions when you couldn't contact him, his behaviour towards you and try to pinpoint when all this started. Has he been distancing himself from you, trying to cause arguments or appearing stressed and over-wrought? Has his sexual appetite changed in any way? Any mentionitis about a colleague/friend that has perhaps stopped in recent times?

Has he been keener than usual to undertake impromptu errands that got him out of the house for a short while?

All of these things are part of a well-worn script.

Infidelity is a shocking pain, but what these idiots never realise is that it is better for you and your recovery if you are told the truth, rather than berate yourself and wonder what you've done to cause this loss of feeling. In a strange way, you will be liberated once you know the truth, which is that there was nothing you could have done to prevent this, it is not about you at all. It is all about his inability to resist an opportunity and his capacity to delude himself that he is "in love" and must therefore "do the decent thing and end his marriage".

Keep posting and so sorry this is happening to you, but as you can see, you are in good company amongst women who were told the same old bollocks. One of the many reasons why I was able to start a path of forgiveness after my H's affair was that he never insulted my intelligence with any nonsense like this - and he was much more self-aware about his feelings for OW and his feelings for me.

I have to tell you though, if my H had ever come out with this line about not loving me any more, my first response even then, would have been "Who is she?"

littlecritter · 13/07/2010 09:16

Ladywolf, how are you this morning?

Please read WWIFN's post carefully. She is the oracle in matters such as these and quite literally saved my sanity a couple of weeks ago. Good luck.

SolidGoldBrass · 13/07/2010 09:43

I'm afraid 'I love you but I'm not inlove with you' ALWAYS means 'I want you to carry on cooking my meals, washing my shitty pants, cleaning the house and looking after the DCs and I do in fact appreciate all these things. But I want to have sex with other people.'

There may not be a specific candidate he has in mind, of course. Or there may be a woman he is attracted to but who has no interest in him, but the message is the same - in his head, you are 'mummy/servant' and he wants sex with other women.

You could suggest an open relationship to him ie you get to have sex elsewhere as well, and see how he reacts. Saying that might jolt him into a degree of honesty or even remind him that you are, actually, a person not a domestic appliance.
Or he may go, yes, what a great idea and unless you acutally like the idea as well, it could backfire.

womblingfree · 13/07/2010 10:18

You need to have a think about this from the point of view of what you want and can live with.

I went through a similar situation with my now DH (actually not so much D at the moment but that's another story!) and after three days of him 'not being sure what he wanted or if he loved me' and wandering around with face like a smacked arse I packed my bags and moved back to my parents (was his flat and before we were married).

We spent four months apart - there was an 'emotional affair' of sorts going on with someone he worked with but I think he was also having a bit of a premature mid-life crisis (taking an interest in weird 'religions', growing a goatee ).

We eventually got back together after 4-5 months and have now been married for 7 years and have a lovely 5 YO DD.

I realise it is a lot harder when you have kids, but I guess what I'm trying to say is don't hand all the power to him. He needs to decide ASAP if he wants to try and make things work, 'cos with two young children you don't need your emotions being played with indefinitely.

wrt counselling - he could see a Relate counsellor on his own if it speeds up the porcess of him deciding what he wants, and then bring you in if and when necessary.

Hope it all works out for you whatever happens.

primrose22 · 13/07/2010 10:18

I'm guessing I'm going to get abuse but here goes.... Is someone automatically a bad person because they think they don't love someone anymore? I have felt like that before and I have also been on the receiving end too,Ladywolf I feel for you I really do, trying to care for your family and feeling so utterly heartbroken is awful.
I guess my point is, I think its sad that people assume the worst. My ex fell out of love with me and I still think to this day he's a great guy. He didn't want to feel the way he did but we just had to deal with it. We're great pals now and both v.happy with lovely new partners.
I hope things will get better for you soon, I really do x

clairebear28 · 13/07/2010 10:26

Hi

I am sorry you are going through this at the moment. i personally would ask him to move out and then you can work out what you want.

However, and i am probably going to get flammed for this but because he has said he doesnt love you anymore doesnt automatically mean he is sleeping with someone else!!!!! i have very recently told my husband i dont think i love him anymore.....im not sleeping with anyone else or having an emotional affair i have just fallen out of love with my husband. i find it very difficult to sit back and read so many people automatically say that to you, it doesnt automatically mean that!!!!

I am truly sorry you are going through this, i have no practical advice as i am currently struggling too but wanted to send you some huge hugs xx

helicopterview · 13/07/2010 10:33

Ladywolf

I hate to heap it on you, but I agree with WWIFN (who doesn't?) She is talking sense.

I suspect that the refusal to go to counseling is because he doesn't want to have to confess in the room. He is avoiding telling you the truth.

Sorry.

I think the most constructive thing to do is try to find the facts, hard as it will be to hear. Then you can move forward from a position of knowledge.

SolidGoldBrass · 13/07/2010 10:55

It isn't that much of a terrible sin to fall out of love with someone.
It is selfish and unkind to tell a partner you no longer feel in love and expect the partner just to suck it up and keep servicing you. The ethical thing to do is sort it all out in your own head, then if you are sure, leave as kindly and honourably as you can. That means you move out while things are being sorted out, even if the house is yours.

Elenio · 13/07/2010 11:12

I'm afraid 'I love you but I'm not inlove with you' ALWAYS means 'I want you to carry on cooking my meals, washing my shitty pants, cleaning the house and looking after the DCs and I do in fact appreciate all these things. But I want to have sex with other people.'

i have to say that for me this is not the case. DP told me last week (after 7 years) that he is no longer in love with me and that the relationship needs to end.
He is helping me as much as he can to find a solution and is trying to find somewhere for me to live.
He has never suggested that we stay living together. I do not think that there is a OW as we spend most of our time together and work in a connected business (i am the only female) but i am not naive enough to think it is not a possibility.

It is so hard when you still love them. I had never imagined a life without him. I am grieving the relationship but also the future that i thought i would have.
I really hope it gets better with time ( i was sobbing so hard yesterday that i was sick)

I have to find somewhere to live asap and pack up my home - it is truly heart breaking.
I wish so much that i had my family here so i could just run away for a while.

I am wishing you strength and hope that very soon we will both be in a better place.

Elenio · 13/07/2010 11:19

primrose22 - i do not think it makes them a bad person. I know that DP has been struggling with this for a long time and is very hurt that he could not find the love that was lost again.
It is very early days for me at the moment and feel i am struggling to breathe at times.
I do however, hope that we will remain friends and have a relationship as you do with your ex.