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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My heart is breaking

80 replies

Ladywolf · 12/07/2010 22:05

My husband of 11 years has just told me, he doesn't think he loves me any more. we have two beautiful daughters, the eldest is 3, the youngest just turned 1. He doesn't believe in counselling, he says he's just got to work things out for himself, but that he is unhappy with me. I don't know what to do, or even why i'm writing this except i can't talk to anyone else about this. I don't want him to leave, not just because of the children but because i still love him. I feel sick all the time since he told me, and my heart is hurting so much. Is there anything i can do?

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 19/07/2010 11:42

Sorry that nothing appears to have changed OP.

It is however manifestly unfair to have dropped this bombshell on you and stayed. If he isn't prepared to resolve matters, then he should go. But you see, this is another reason why I think there is someone else. If his story is to be believed, he has been feeling this way for a long time and therefore having decided he cannot go on any longer in the marriage, he would have made some plans about where he could go, after telling you.

The only reason he isn't going anywhere is because OW either won't have him (yet) or because she hasn't resolved her own relationship situation. Also, she wouldn't be the first OW to have pushed and pushed a man to leave, only to back out once he has made that sacrifice for her, because for some narcissists, it's all about winning a competition, rather than living with the "prize".

What are you doing to find out the truth?

Please don't sit passively while this is going on. It will make you feel 100 times worse. Please stop believing all you are told by your H and get rid of this notion that he is "too decent" to have an affair, because that is flawed thinking.

It is the most likely cause of your marriage breakdown and no amount of denial is going to remove that.

Please take control, get investigating while he is still there and you've got access to phones, bills, laptops etc. but ultimately, all the while he is telling you he wants to end your marriage, get him out so that he has to live with the consequences.

He is thinking only of himself (and OW) at the moment. Please tell yourself that knowledge is power and the only way you are going to start feeling better is by taking control.

SugarMousePink · 19/07/2010 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntieMaggie · 19/07/2010 13:02

Please listen to the good advice here... WWIFN and others talk sense.

I agree with WWIFN when she says "I have never known a man say this to his wife and there wasn't an OW."

It was true in my case when my DP said he wasn't sure what he wanted anymore, though I didn't know it at the time. The difference was he was prepared to try to make it work.

Ladywolf · 20/07/2010 16:59

WARNING THIS IS LONG.I am so CONFUSED, i don't even know where to start. First off i have had a look around, and can find no evidence of an affair, although saying that i just have no access to bank account or phone records, everything is online, but he doesn't write passwords down, he never has.
I have been to CAB where i was given number for mediation, WHAT is this? Then i was told about the criteria for divorce. When i mentioned this to my husband, he said Do you want a divorce then? I said NO, thats want you want isn't it? He said we were just discussing options at the moment, but he needed to go for a while, he wasn't going to be able to figure it out with me. Where will you go was my next question? He agreed the council was unlikely to find him somewhere, he would have to rent. But we can't afford that i said, He said I know but i've got to do something. He then sort of suggested i might enjoy moving back with my parents in the future if we do decide to split up, he said he would buy me out if it comes to that. Now i couldn't afford to live ther on my own. But i wouldn't want to live with my parents indefinately, that don't live that close to my daughters school, but would the council give me a house? It seems unlikely to me. I'm sorry i'm rambling but i just have no ideas what to do, where to start or anything. I'm worrying that my 3 yr old daughter is going to end up dispaced from H, our house and then her new friends at school, and i know kids are resillient etc. But i kinda want to keep some things the same for her if i can. I feel like screaming, and if you have hung on this long you deserve a medal. Any advice is welcome.

OP posts:
mummytime · 20/07/2010 17:08

He has to go. Do not move out! He is hoping you will, but you can't give him that claim to the house. Make sure whatever money you do have is somewhere he can't get it. If he has most of the money in his accounts, then take what you can from joint account.

When he is out try to find bank statements, cheque books, anything to link his accounts with him. If possible photocopy them, certainly keep records of the account numbers and which bank. Look for old cash till receipts anything.

He needs to move out and will have to pay towards your DDs upkeep. Do not give him arguments not to move out, get him to go.

coventgarden · 20/07/2010 17:16

I feel so sorry for you .

He needs to move out and live with his parents. Why should you move? You haven't done anything wrong and you still love him.

Take some control, hard as it is, he has stopped loving you. Don't let him grind you down.

PrettyFeckinVacant · 20/07/2010 17:17

Seems to me that he has planned this out in his head.

You will disappear with the dc to your parents and he gets to stay in the house and live the single life

Please don't do this - you will seriously regret it.

This problem is his making. He needs to find another solution.

Why dont you look for cheap flats for him and leave the details for him to look at. Make it clear you are not moving.

I dont envy where you are at the moment. I have been there and it is very draining and confusing, especially when your h is under the same roof but saying he doesn't want to be with you.

I didn't find the CAB too helpful. Maybe a visit to a solicitor would be better and you will know what you are entitled to.

Sending strength

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 20/07/2010 17:29

More about the house situation later, but why don't you have a look at his phone while he is asleep? Is it password protected with a pin number? Try dates of birth and bank pins.

Are you on Firefox? Go into tools, the options, then saved passwords. I am sure other applications have their own versions. See if there is a password saved for his phone company.

gettingeasier · 20/07/2010 19:18

Do not leave your house Ladywolf whatever you do. Sorry am in a mess so cant post more at the moment

Ladywolf · 20/07/2010 20:54

Phone is pin protected, already tried. Not on firefox, but have had a look and can't find anything.

OP posts:
SugarMousePink · 20/07/2010 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ladywolf · 21/07/2010 18:24

I am so tired today, the children aren't sleeping well at the moment. I cried in front of the children today, which i didn't want to do. I know i should be doing something but i just have no idea what, i didn't feel like the CAB gave me much useful information. To be truthful i just feel like curling into a ball, and if i didn't have two children, i would do just that.

OP posts:
helicopterview · 21/07/2010 18:36

Ladywolf

You were only dealt this massive life changing blow last week.

Adrenaline, fear and anger sort of get your through the first few days, but after that you can expect to feel completely drained.

Do not try to handle this all on your own in RL. Who are you confiding in?

Get your friends involved, find yourself a counselor. Sounds to me like you need a session to yourself as quickly as possible.

Just because your h won't go to counseling doesn't mean you can't.

kettlecrisps · 21/07/2010 19:43

First off I'm so sorry to hear how your husband is trying to make his problem yours to solve. I agree with others who think there is an emotional connection with O/W going on.

You'd be surprised that literally a bit of "frisson" around the coffee machine leads to a whole emotional "affair" developing in their heads. The object of desire is really quite irrelevant it's all about escapism and "mooning" around like lovesick teenagers. They are only really brought back to the real world with a jolt when the wife in the situation is literally "over" the DH and like all emperor's new clothes stories they look down and realise what a twat they've been.

Sorry not sure whether you're renting or mortgaged. If mortgaged then the following should apply to you:

My understanding is that any separation agreement/divorce would leave you ultimately entitled to 2/3 in any eventual proceeds from house sale. Also that the family home i.e. where you and the children reside will stay as the family home until the youngest child is 18. Then he could push for a sale once the youngest child is out of full time education.

You will be entitled to benefits and maintenance payments towards paying the interest on the mortgage - so you will be able to tread water until things pick up for you.

Under no circumstances do you consider leaving the family home. His choice - his problem to solve.

You will get stronger and will get to know yourself a lot better - it's a journey you weren't expecting to go on but one day you will be back in control of choosing what you really want.

SassySusan · 21/07/2010 21:01

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SassySusan · 21/07/2010 21:05

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Dinkytinky · 21/07/2010 21:20

Yep stay at home lady, you are beig so strong and brave xxx I know you love him but it seems to me like a game of chess to him, he seems to have planned it all out.
I'm sorry but I agree with all te OW suggestions, tell him you would like access to the telephone billing etc as you may take this over etc hopefully this will hive you more ideas as to what's happening.
I hope you're ok, remember you have everyone here rooting for you and supporting you xxx

helicopterview · 21/07/2010 22:45

yes as you have heard, stay in the home. If you move out, you may be giving up your right to live in it later.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 23/07/2010 01:17

Glad that other posters have advised about staying put. Ladywolf I suggested on a similar thread just now, one last suggestion re. uncovering an OW.

Could you ask your H to give you his last year's worth of phone bills? If he is insistent there is no OW, presumably he won't mind doing this. If he refuses, it's pretty obvious why.

SassySusan · 23/07/2010 08:49

Message deleted

GeekOfTheWeek · 23/07/2010 11:47

You need to see what you are entitled to financially.

You may be able to afford to stay in the house.

Do not make this so easy for him. Don't let him dictate. Be strong for you and your children. Try to keep your dignity and self respect.

Ladywolf · 28/07/2010 23:07

Just an update, I have now checked his emails and a phone bill i found, still nothing to suggest an affair. I have now told my mom and sister what is going on. Both supportive. Funnily enough my sister told me that a couple of years ago, her husband said to her that he loved her but wasn't in love with her. Long story short it turned out he had depression. He was put on mild anti-depressants and now they are fine and have a beautiful daughter. I have booked my husband an appointment at the doctors, he has agreed to go although he has said if he is depressed it is because of what is going on, rather than what is going on being a symptom. I'm not getting my hopes up. I just wondered if any one had any thoughts.

OP posts:
maandpa · 29/07/2010 19:10

Hello Ladywolf.

4 weeks ago, I found out that my husband was having an affair, with a colleague at work. On confronting him with the evidence he could not deny it.

It was a total shock. He has always maintained that he is a very good person.

We talked about our relationship and he said he didn't love me anymore.

I think he had suppressed his feelings for me to enable himself to concentrate on the OW. Also he thought about our relationship negatively, also so he could turn to the OW and feel justified in doing this, there was nothing he could do to save our relationship.

So far, I know he had been having an emotional affair for about 2 years, and that it became physical early this year.

Do not under - estimate how he may be deceiving you.

But even if he is not having an affair, I did this and it really helped me.

I kicked him out. And he went to his parents house. He had to tell them and his sister and his brother in law. He eventually had to tell other family members and friends. Very quickly, the reality of the situation he found himself in came crashing down on him. He rang every night because he missed the dcs so much.

Of course my parents, family and friends know now too, and the school and nursery. He hates that what he has done has had to be broadcast, but people need to know.

He had time to evaluate, while I was exhausted with emotional trauma and looking after 3 dcs.

2 weeks later he really wanted to come back. I let him, for the sake of our family and the children. We are going to Relate soon. He has made large changes to his behaviour (in a good way) and is much more helpful with the dcs.

We are trying to be kind and compassionate to each other while we wait to find out more when we start going to Relate.

The up shot of my tale is, kick him out. He will find somewhere cheap or free to stay. He needs space to realize what he stands to lose. And you need space also, given the momentousness of this news he has given you.

Keep snooping also to make sure he is not having an actual emotional or physical affair.

Let him come and see the kids once a week, so he misses them and realizes that this could be the future if he doesn't start thinking rationally.

Really drive home to him, how important it is that you go to Relate together, say to him, for the sake of splitting up amicably and for the sake of the dcs. He may go then, and you may then get to know the back ground to this situation and more of the truth about what is going on in his head. Ring them tomorrow!!

stripeyknickersspottysocks · 29/07/2010 19:22

I think you need to give him a (short) deadline. Tell him that by this time next week he has either agreed to counselling or he nneds to have actually moved out, that you won't allow him to be in your home after that date unless he is making a go of things. Not sure if that is legally enfoceable (probably not) but may scare him. Tell him that you need him out sooner than later if he's going so you can get on with your life/start dating, etc. Let him think you're looking forward/new start, etc.

If he does carry on down the route of seperation make sure he's aware that he'll need to find a place to live aand have his own bills as well as paying for the DC. Ask him how he plans to fund this as legally that is what he's going to have to do.

Horrible situation that yo're in. Sorry you're going through this.

Ladywolf · 06/08/2010 21:58

I have asked him to leave, to give him a chance to think about things, he is spending the weekend with us, and moving in with his parents on monday. For now we are telling our oldest daughter (only 3) that he is just working away for a week. I'm tired and very sad :(

OP posts: