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Archers thread #196: Run, Rex, run! Discuss The Archers here.

979 replies

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 17/02/2026 14:40

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

Archers All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like to marry Pip, or other unusual views. Grin

Archers Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

Archers For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

So now we know who bonked George on the head. Will the stunning revelation Hmm lead to anything interesting or credible happening? Answers on a postcard, please!

Will Alice and Rex become an item? Will Amber come to her senses? Has Adam's constant languor and fatigue now removed his ability to speak on air?

Over to you!

OP posts:
TheUsualChaos · 24/02/2026 00:24

You can drive a 3.5tonne on a standard car licence. They aren't very big, generally have capacity for two ponies or one large horse on its own.

Nos4r2 · 24/02/2026 04:46

Can Chelsea drive now?
I can't see how she will get the smell out of the horse box no matter how hard she scrubs it. If its got any wood in it, it will have the horsey smell ingrained once the summer comes and the horsebox gets warm. I think Chelsea needs to re- think the whole idea.
Helen puts my teeth on edge.
Susan was horrible to Kirsty, but Kirsty came across like a bumbling fool just like Akram. No good deed goes unpunished!.
Helen's never grateful, just like Tom.
Tony and Pat did a terrible job rearing those two.

OrphanBlankly · 24/02/2026 05:21

As if Finlay has ‘a mate in Borchester’ …

JoelenesParrot · 24/02/2026 06:35

In theory, I like the idea of Chelsea’s horsebox but I wouldn’t want to be a client. With enough cash and imagination it could look great but it will be cold in winter and hot in summer so just not very enticing. Certainly not suitable for weddings unless it feels luxurious and given its current condition, that’s very unlikely unless she spends big bucks. I am prepared to go with it for now as I am aware the SWs do need something to write about week in week out but I agree with pp that all she really needs is a little run-around.

My mobile hairdresser is brilliant and had an aged run-around for a few years. He has been very successful and now drives a nice Mercedes. Chelsea could learn a thing or two…

OrphanBlankly · 24/02/2026 06:54

Ha! I used to go to a hairdressers run by two women in a little shack opposite a train station. Absolutely no frills (or parking for customers) - but they had two humongous Mercedes parked conspicuously outside.

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 24/02/2026 08:34

I like Chelsea and want her to succeed but the horsebox thing is absolute nonsense. A knackered borse box that needs work to even make it run, and then needs everything ripped out including the ammonia saturated flooring which will stink at the best of times, and more so in hot weather, is absolutely not a bargain. It's around 20 grand for a used van and a nice conversion if you're looking at mobile dog grooming.

She would also have to be charging a premium for being in the van over someone who just rocks up to a house or wedding venue to do hair for a number of people, so it better be a special experience and as a PP rightly points out, if it's hot or cold, it's not going to be the right kind of special. Plus, if for any reason she can't hook up to the electrics anywhere, she will be using a generator, and anyone who has had roadworks outside their house knows that is very much not a feeling of luxury.

And who is this saint who agrees to "sell" a vehicle to some kid, accepts monthly installments, and presumably allows them to start dismantling / converting it before it's fully paid for?

WitcheryDivine · 24/02/2026 08:36

Someone probably already posted but this is the nearest I can see: https://www.instagram.com/giddy_up_cutz?igsh=OXY2a2xwNnp4djds

Chelsea’s will be bigger I should think. I can see that dolled up enough it could be a cute instagrammable gimmick to have that turn up at your wedding or event as a mobile get ready station - better than in the toilets! Aimed at people her own age. I presume she’ll also do traditional mobile in people’s homes with the box parked up outside.

OrphanBlankly · 24/02/2026 08:50

Conversely I have nothing against Chelsea’s horsebox. She’s young - she wants a project. And in the absence of the sort of upbringing that would have catapulted her into using her savings on a period of South American back packing, this will provide fun and excitement and be an outlet for all her energy, hope and planning skills.

It’s not as if she’ll be short of help. Starting with the payment by instalments and keeping it at The Stables - both things very naturally made possible by the well connected Alice. (Isn’t that the point of being close to everyone in your village?) I’m sure everyone will offer to pitch in, at least once or twice - Natasha, Fallon, maybe Freddie as DJ. It’s likely to be a cute little party venue whilst hair is being done.

Most of all, it reminds me of Susan and Neil when they decided to build their own house. Right now, Chelsea is reminding me much more of a younger Susan, than of her own whinily pessimistic mother. (Much as I love Tracy!)

TheUsualChaos · 24/02/2026 08:59

The flooring will all need replacing.
If her and Brad were on better terms with George then I expect he would be able to help with some of the basic works on it.

It doesn't sound very viable but hopefully she can pull a lot of favours and get the work done on the cheap. Another odd idea from the SW but I'm not that fussed about the logistics really, it will be nice for something good to happen for Chelsea. The Ambridge fairies will do their magic.

It also still bugs me that she was so elusive when Brad asked her what she did for New Years Eve, but assume was just to add to the who bottled George build up like Jazzer acting weird for no reason whatsoever.

TellMeWhatToWear · 24/02/2026 09:19

I like the horsebox story as a vehicle (pun unintended) for Chelsea as a go getting young woman who is very determined to be successful in her own way. Especially as contrasted with all the inheritance storylines.

As an actual business proposition, I am less convinced, but the latest references (festivals, barber cuts) were more promising than the luxury wedding suggestion.

Bruisername · 24/02/2026 09:23

would you get a haircut at a festival?

I am all for Chelsea being a go getter and doing well for herself but this seems like it should fail. Whereas as pp said, a little run around and going to peoples houses/venues would be better with her eventually opening a salon in the charging centre

TellMeWhatToWear · 24/02/2026 10:07

People get tattoos at festivals, a haircut isn’t that big of a deal! Anyway, more likely to be washing and styling - I’ve seen those at festivals recently.

Brefugee · 24/02/2026 10:11

i think some of you are lacking in a bit of imagination on the mobile salon thing.

Weddings? just styling. Festivals? just weaving flowers and spray colours. Surely?

The whole cheese thing is so annoying. How long does it take to write an add for a cheese assistant? 20 minutes start to finish for goodness sakes.

Wall-E is not just a children's film tho, is it? why would that be a red flag leading to watching Rosie and Jim? I watch the Aristocats and Aladdin sometimes.

It was a rubbish ep, and i am cross. Agree that Findlay should run like the wind.

Bruisername · 24/02/2026 10:15

I just can’t imagine getting in a horse box to have my wedding hair done - no matter how nice inside. It makes more sense in your living room or at the venue with friends around and a glass of champagne - and you need space for the photographer (a colleague is getting married this year and it’s amazing how it’s changed since I married many moons ago)

and I just can’t imagine making much money at a festival!

it’s just so random and would be more understandable if she was branching out into dog grooming

OrphanBlankly · 24/02/2026 10:27

20 minutes to write the job advert. Same again to put it online wherever it goes?

How long to read and process let’s say 300 applications?

How long to email the shortlisted candidates?

And diarize (is that a word? I mean set up and oversee their entries in your online calendar) the interview schedule.

Then run the interviews.

Then have a cosy chat with your mum where you both acknowledge who was the best candidate; then choose someone else, anyway. Hmm

Brefugee · 24/02/2026 10:29

none of that is necessary though. And if she has time to go to the pub, and have dates, then she isn't THAT busy, is she?

Bruisername · 24/02/2026 10:40

Ah but Helen’s definition of being busy is different to everyone else’s (well her parents seem to agree with her)

I assume clarrie isn’t applying!

Darker · 24/02/2026 11:19

The Wall-E film is about the environment and links to rewilding.

The Rosie and Jim suggestion is because it’s set on a canal boat.

Anyway… Rex and Alice already know each other a bit so this ‘date’ should be about getting to explore whether they are interested in getting together. I’d be suggesting a meal somewhere outside Ambridge, or a trip to a gallery… even a walk. A chance to talk about themselves.

Abra1t · 24/02/2026 11:36

Clarrie’s going to buckle, isn’t she? Misplaced sense of loyalty to them.

Trivium4all · 24/02/2026 11:45

Having driven a 3.5t horsebox as my only car for a couple of years after my runabout died, it's not impossible at all, if occasionally awkward to park. I also don't think the "horsey smell" will be at all hard to eliminate, since I assume she's getting rid of the rubber matting that will be over the metal floor. I am wondering a bit just how dirty the previous owners have left it: did they not clean it out at all, before trying to sell it? It shouldn't really be all that stinky if it's been cleaned for sale, at least not to the noses of the horsey people like Alice.

As I know from my mobile-dog-groomer friend, the water and electricity issues are ones that can be addressed. I honestly don't think the idea is all that crazy in itself, assuming she has the support to get the needed repairs done to the box by Jazzer and various mates.

As horseboxes, 3.5t-boxes seem like an attractive proposition, except that very many of them are technically stalled for 2 horses, but would be overweight quickly. Even with 1 horse, many will be pushing it, once you count the driver, the tack, water, feed, and all the other paraphernalia.

I've looked up how much a professional barber chair would weigh, and it seems to be about 25-60kg. That leaves quite a lot of capacity for cupboards, a water tank, lamps, a leisure battery, etc. It seems the industry average female clients per day for a hairdresser is about 5.5 clients. Adding in travel time, reduce that to 4, and at an average water use of 60L per client, Chelsea's van should be ok for water tank capacity too, without going overweight while driving.

At weddings, the biggest problem is going to be time. She won't be doing colouring etc. there, but rather complicated updos and the like, one assumes. So if it's e.g. 5 women in the bridal party, she might need an assistant for the morning. Perhaps the plan is to be able to put a second chair in the box. If the chairs aren't massive, that should just about be possible...

WitcheryDivine · 24/02/2026 12:04

Bruisername · 24/02/2026 09:23

would you get a haircut at a festival?

I am all for Chelsea being a go getter and doing well for herself but this seems like it should fail. Whereas as pp said, a little run around and going to peoples houses/venues would be better with her eventually opening a salon in the charging centre

Didn’t realise you were on here Tracey!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 24/02/2026 12:04

snowibunni · 23/02/2026 19:33

Next thread needs to be run Finlay run I think.

At least we have evidence that Helen is at least looking .

<makes note>

OP posts:
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 24/02/2026 12:25

AnotherHormonalWoman
Taxis to riding stables are also a ridiculous idea in Ambridge. I used to take the train to one, but that was a very urban area. Ambridge is rural - everybody will drive, and taxis would double or triple the cost of having a riding lesson.

Obviously within Ambridge any child fit enough to ride could very well walk to a riding lesson (unless this was one of the riding for the disabled pupils, which was not mentioned); nowhere in the village is further than a mile from the Stables. But I think what may have been going on was that Rex-and-the-taxi were a substitute for a busy mum with a car who hadn't time to do the drop-off that day.

ExitPursuedByABare · 24/02/2026 17:41

Do Susan and Kirsty have history? Susan seemed horrified as soon as Helen mentioned Kirsty’s name.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 24/02/2026 17:57

If they didn't before, they have now (by editorial decree).

It's dispiriting to know that this is just as likely as anyone remembering some occasion on which Kirsty was unpleasant to Susan. I may say that seems unlikely, because Kirsty isn't as a rule unpleasant to anyone; that would be far too positive a stance for her. A cause, yes, she can do causes; manifesting dislike of an individual not so probable.

Except Brian, of course; she regards him as evil incarnate and has frequently said so. I suppose Susan might be thinking of Brian as her son's father-in-law and thus part of Susan's family, but it seems like a stretch to me. v