Archers thread #189: Brian reaps what he sows, in spite of himself. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

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Over to you!

My village, a bit larger, had it's village show recently. The produce is apparently judged to RHS standards which I can believe, given the instructions in the programme about arranging things on sand, tying with raffia and having the ends of carrots etc a certain length, and the perfect appearance and arrangement of the winning entries.

That was funny and I‘m saying that as someone who does like Charlotte Smith, I bet she’ll be listening to that and cringing as she must know she’s not the sort of celeb that everyone and their mums is going around jiggling with excitement about.

WHY would anyone be talking about Ruairi being back like it’s weird when it’s his home town and home to his dad and all his siblings? He’s visiting?

What else has Nick Warburton done to us @AskingQuestionsAllTheTime ?

I assumed all F&P type shows were judged to RHS standards for flowers and veg, and to WI standards for cakes, jams, flower arrangements and crafts. A lot of people wouldn't enter if they weren't.

WHY would anyone be talking about Ruairi being back like it’s weird when it’s his home town and home to his dad and all his siblings? He’s visiting?

It would not be weird anywhere else, because outside of Ambridge, it's entirely normal to go back home for a weekend or longer, if you live in London as Ruari does and can pop on a train to Hollerton Junction or the like, which presumably takes 2 or 3 hours, or just drive, if you have a car. Normal places, it would be stuff like, "saw Ruari coming out of the shop earlier, didn't realise he was about just now, shall we give him a bell to see if he's going to the pub?"

But it is Ambridge.

Dane is such a strange addition. He sounded drunk last night when he was talking to Lily- the actor is very inconsistent. And then he started talking about candy-striped tents like they had at Agincourt?!? Really weird writing this week.

It's either very bad or (possibly) very good acting. He was extremely hyper and rather odd when speaking to Lilly and his personality swing about. Does he have a coke problem?

I agree with comments about Dane's accent. At one point I thought it was Harrison speaking at another it was definitely Nottingham.

A coke problem in the hospitality trade? Surely not!

Exactly that, @JoelenesParrot! I knew it was the same actor but it sounded as if he was trying out a new delivery - and consequently was slurring his words so much I also wondered if it would later be revealed that he was comedically drunk for some reason. But no.

It’s so very odd. Could the actor not have experimented with how he would present Dane before he started being recorded?

With Fallon’s extraordinary monologue last night I began to think it might be a coke problem amongst the writers and producers.

Is Helen still with Dane? It's bizarre that we've heard nothing more about either that or the living arrangements at the Beechwood house.

I thought Dane was a Brummie when he was interviewed for the job but his accent and delivery are all over the place. If you're a radio actor I think it's important to have a recognisable voice, when he appears I usually don't realise who it is until I've got the context.

A coke in hospitality storyline would be quite interesting, although in Ambridgeland if you're any type of addict you always get better ( Alice and Alistair) or if you abuse drugs it doesn't really cause a problem ( can't quite remember but didn't Ed and Jazzer use various substances at one point?).

I do know a few recovered coke addicts, sometimes it seems to be associated with a time in your life or a particular job/lifestyle.

The varnished buns story was beyond bizarre.

A coke in hospitality storyline would be quite interesting but not as interesting as a coke in a relationship with the doggedly independent single mother of two.

@WitcheryDivine , NW was responsible for the Justin Idiot and the AI episode, I think.

Have we ever heard of the chap with the polished buns before?

Is this something I want to know about? Who is he? Will Ruairi be able to resist? So many questions.

@ExitPursuedByABare , Wally Treadmire and his varnished buns are probably long gone.

Agree. I listen to the podcast as I fall asleep and if I wasn’t reading about the polished buns here I’d have thought it was a dream. Poor actress who plays Fallon having to voice such a ludicrous script. Now that really was Dross.

The varnished buns was just bizarre. And why is GG offering to host everything anyway? Offering prizes yes, but who would want a village fete going on in the middle of their very expensive wedding?

Ma Malik was unrecognisable. I couldn't work out where she, Lily and Fallon were or why all 3 were together.

I quite liked the varnished buns bit. It reminded me of all the flower and produce japes. Which is what I thought Lily would go for. An oral history type thing.
and a Jenny Darling memorial prize obviously.

sad lack of actual flower and produce type buns in the emoji selection

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"I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose"🌹

Now you've done it. One of my all-time favourites.

I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. The carrot has mystery. Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees. There is, you'll agree, a certain 'je ne sais quoi' oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.

I do miss Richard Griffiths.

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