Archers thread #186: Eavesdropping on a home for the terminally confused. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd swipe right on Dane, the new Grey Gables manager, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radioaddicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radioaddicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @WitcheryDivine for the title inspiration. Over to you!

‘Encouraging suicidal ideation’ (what pompous hogwash) can be quite amusing:

What, still alive at twenty-two,
A clean, upstanding chap like you!
Sure, if your throat 'tis hard to slit,
Slit your girl's, and swing for it.

Like enough, you won't be glad
When they come to hang you, lad:
But bacon's not the only thing
That's cured by hanging from a string.

So, when the spilt ink of the night
Spreads o'er the blotting-pad of light
Lads whose job is still to do
Shall whet their knives, and think of you

Hugh Kingsmill, after A.E. Housman
—————-

#teamPipShover

I'm assuming we won't hear from Harrison again now.

For someone who was very depressed and thinking of chucking in his job as a copper, Harrison seems to have thrown himself right into his undercover job.🤔
It was obvious he wasn't going to turn up.
Liked the farming talk.
So we won't be hearing the funeral by the looks of it. Not sorry about that.

Which would be all kinds of unsatisfactory. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t miss hearing him, far from it, but if he and Fallon are going to break up, then the terminal row would be a huge omission. If on the other hand he is going to be killed off (torn asunder by whippets? Imprudent crossing of Ilkley moor without appropriate head-covering?) then fair enough. Not sure I can stomach much of a snivelling Fallon, though. Or her ideas for a cunning variation on sausage rolls for t’funeral bean feast.

I had a bit of a tear when David was reading the eulogy, which surprised me. It was nice to hear Jill and am also assuming this was a neat way of letting the character be in the ep (all that talk of their off-air drinking/visiting) but not have to speak too much. It was well done.

ETA: assume we won't be hearing the actual funeral (please please SW, spare us that) and that we'll be getting one or two of these little scenes instead. PLEASE

<SENSITIVITY ALERT>
am also assuming that Jill is not long for this world and this will serve for us listeners as a bit of a reminder that she is still here
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The talk of

<SENSITIVITY ALERT>
offing characters is perfectly normal on discussion platforms. I have been involved in such discussions about - mainly sci-fi - shows since before the internet. For sci-fi delete "Beachy/Flanbrough Head" and add "airlock".
(oh i had long long rants about why Hoshi from Enterprise should be airlocked. That is SUPER OUTING)
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Will not be sad if we never hear from Harrison again, tbh. He adds nothing to the story and sets us up for a

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Character Death Match between Fallon and Helen over Dane
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Notes as I’ve read through the whole of this thread this morning, so some have been addressed by the time I’ve caught up..

• Tree surgeon DH has a headset within the helmet which is used to communicate with others on the team on a larger job. Surprised Em’n’Ed don’t have this but yelling is probably more entertaining for “comedic effect” ??

• yes, I had imagined Gloucester Services as being the inspiration for Underwoods Local. Always think of Underwoods as being like that sprawling department store in Bath (is it Jolly’s??)
• Why is the village shop suddenly Susan’s main concern? She has no financial ties in it? If it closes, wah wah very sad, but if no great shakes
• Very obvious that Harrison wasn’t coming back for the party. I seriously hope Fallon’s check up was unrelated. I’ll be furious if they have a Harrison death-in-service and a pg storyline
• Hated the Ask for Angela PSA
• Jill sounded better than she has recently
• As a teacher, family member has experienced that parents are much more likely to refute and reject any suggestion that a child needs any extra assistance, diagnosis etc than to accept the support, which is wild when I see SO many threads on here whinging about lack of support, struggling to diagnose kids etc. I know this SL is to show Alice spiralling, but I’m glad it’s being raised before school.
• Very pleased Clarrie has landed a job so quickly and that she seems to have won the perpetual battle with Susan for oneupmanship
• Enjoying how Dane and Ian really don’t seem to have hit it off and D clearly doesn’t realise that Helen is great friends with Ian
• Jim sounded worryingly frail, didn’t he?
• Dogs in shops would stop me ever shopping in them
• I’d like the village shop to stay open only for the little snippets of passing chitchat which are what I enjoy most about TA
• I’d like to hear from Josh
• I’d like OFS to go without a hitch; more realistic to have anxiety rewarded with no actual drama, plus we’ve had enough needless drama of late

What were the background noises when Chris and Alice met on the way to the party? Slow shuffling? It was almost worse than the Amir and Aziz hoof noises.

Oh,
also I enjoyed Alice and Chris and Kirsty with the “how many fines?!” thing, fallon being too distracted by the party to listen and I was surprised that she would be able to have an actively undercover police officer on Find My app. I also thought that he might be somewhere else for nefarious reason but we’ll only get to hear her side of any of it anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.

The rustling of pomegranate seeds?

When Alice said she would need to buy a pomegranate for the salad Fallon requested, I was surprised. On the rare occasions I've made something with pomegranate seeds, I've bought a carton of them. Lazy, I suppose.

At least the on air characters were surprised by Helen bringing Dane given it was a second date

Do you know I hadn’t considered how funny that is? Mind you I wouldn’t put it past cop of the year to just forget that 😅

Yes thank goodness someone else thought it was weird to bring your second date to friend’s party. I notice no one seemed to have their evening ruined by lack of Harrison (who as I suspected has no doubt tripped and fallen into the embrace of nearest fecund colleague)

Ooh you know what would be particularly good - if Harrison has a new very Christian colleague and he wants to divorce F and marry her fast as she’s no sex before marriage. He’s just the sort to become a born again virgin.

Or there is the alternative view, of course.

Resumé

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker

I assume Ms Parker didn't live near a handy cliff, but then, nor does the utterly fictional Alice Carter, and if Alice gets suicidal she might not be sober enough to drive to one safely. Killing herself is one thing; killing an innocent pedestrian or other road user is quite another, and greatly to be deplored. (Unless it is Helen. Or Pip. Or Tom. Or Justin. Or Adam....)

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime , are we sure that there are no cliffs in the Hassett Hills? Could Lakey Hill have developed a fearsome precipice that Alice could put to use?

Martha’s Seat?

@WitcheryDivine Oh, well played, madam!

That's excellent!

There's a disused quarry somewhere on the Magnetic North Map but I can't find it, and it might not be deep enough for out fell purposes.

I hope the people offended by the mention of Alice leaping off Beachy Head dont actually listen to the Archers because there’s deaths, accidents, violence galore

(and thats just the animals)

Goodness no. I've not listened since 1993. Dreadful programme.

Well, I shall put my head above the parapet to say I didn't like it. Talking about suicide in general, in a "frivolous" manner, is not very appropriate, doesn't matter if it is about a fictional character.

I think we’re all going to land in different places on matters of taste, especially when it related to things we’ve experienced/been close to. Personally I wouldn’t say I want a fictional character to kill themselves any more than I’d say I want them to die a slow lingering death of leukaemia. It just seems likely to upset people who’ve been around that situation in real life, that’s what bothers me not the idea of upsetting the characters.

Who is the writer this week? They couldn’t even get the sherry the right way round. From the Archers website:
”Paddy adds; “If she [Jill] goes into the pub she has a sherry and it’s not a sweet sherry, Peggy may have a sweet sherry, but Jill certainly has a dry sherry.”

well we had Greg all those years back

Problem is if you don’t let in the nasty/sad part of life then it becomes unrealistic

There are plenty of things I find distasteful (in TA and on these boards) without feeling the need to scold people about them.

@MorningCoffeePlease , thanks.