Archers thread #172: Come on, Clive! Spill the beans and put us all out of our misery. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that Clive sounds deeply misunderstood, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Fete over, cricket season over - can the Flower and Produce show be far behind? I don't think I've heard a mention of it this year. Have I not been paying attention?

In any real village, preparations for the Christmas show would already be under way, but not in Ambridge, of course. I am probably in a minority of one in regretting this.

With any luck, though, by Christmas this incredibly protracted tale of Alice, George and the crash will be behind us at last. Do we think Clive's really gone? I don't believe it. We won't be rid of him that easily. Will he go to the police himself? Will he attempt to blackmail his family or extort money from the Aldridges in return for information that would secure Alice's acquittal? Do we care? I find I don't really, unfortunately. I did enjoy hearing Clive for those few brief exchanges but I've had enough now. Unrelieved nastiness is not really what I want from TA.

Over to you!

I'm younger than Alistair and would be annoyed if anyone moved a picture from a place I'd chosen for it, even crosser if they started tossing displayed objects around, and incandescent if they tried 'removing' a bookcase.

Where are they planning to put the stuff?

They might be able to come to an agreement but it will need much more detailed discussion.

I think Brad was just coopted as extra muscle, whom Jazzer had on tap, and maybe gave us the chance to hear what he thinks of uni so far. I was much more confused about Robert's presence: why wouldn't Jim just text his own son directly with the list of what couldn't be moved? And the idea that they would actually lock Robert out and not answer the door again is ridiculous. Why is new Robert being painted as an inconsiderate bore who doesn't realise when he's not welcome (Fallon & Harrison), and why would polite, socially competent, Alistair descend to such rudeness?

The whole thing was really weird. Robert is not like that at all. Apart from anything else, Robert is a very competent handyman and knows exactly how furniture needs to be moved around in order to decorate.

Why would Jim not have said to Alistair in the first place that he wasn’t to move the bookcase etc? I’m assuming that what he could do to make the place feel more Denise-friendly is add soft furnishings etc - it’s probably quite spartan - but it’s Jim’s house and Alistair doesn’t get to decide on a Changing Rooms-style makeover.

The idiot needs to move out if he wants a shagpad with Denise. Ugh, I hate this SL.

Yes, it's episodes like this that make me wonder why on earth I keep listening. They could at least aim for some consistency in characters. I suppose we are meant to think that lurve is making Alistair lose all grip. And that Jim is incapable of talking directly to Alistair. And that Robert has had a character transplant.
Or else it's the trainee SWs again.

I don't understand why everyone is so mystified about why George did what he did. Surely it's obvious that he did it because he didn't want to be blamed for the accident?

Yes they are all very lacking in imagination.

it would be more reasonable to be asking how he could have done something like that!

I thought the days of matching artwork to your decor were over.

I thought the days of feature wall and apple green were over!!

Jazzer is Brad's step father. They've always got on well. I can easily see Jazzer saying, "you won't have any homework yet, you can come and help me and Alistair- he's doing some decorating while the prof's away, and might need to move furniture."

If they were planning to paint, it would still make sense to move all the furniture and paintings out of the way, even if it all went back in exactly the same place after it was dried. You don't paint round furniture, unless it is built in.

His big is the house supposed to be? I feel bad for Jim. I don’t think he knows what he’s done!!

Apart from anything else, Robert is a very competent handyman and knows exactly how furniture needs to be moved around in order to decorate. This. It was completely unbelievable from start to finish. If Alistair and Denise want their own place why doesn't he just move out and rent somewhere? The idea of reorganising Jim's possessions - acquired over a lifetime (the bust of Plato sounded almost like another member of the household) is too far-fetched. Was it supposed to be funny?

I think they were going for humour but they missed the mark

it was actually quite nasty

I think if I were Jim I'd be reorganising Alistair's possessions into a heap on the other side of the front gate.

As I understand it, Alistair wants his own place with Denise but feels guilty about the prospect of abandoning Jim. This despite the fact Jim has said he will be perfectly fine on his own worry and even suggested Alistair should move out. I think they are dragging out this SL for ‘comedic’ effect and he will eventually buy Roy’s house.

Would make sense.

where is Kirsty going to live

Yes seemed obvious to me that Denise and Alistair were going to end up living at Roy’s the moment it was put up for sale.

Can anyone remind me why Mike and Vickoi moved to Birmingham, was it for better opportunities for Bethany? I wonder how she is doing. Would Abbie be doing A levels this year or not that old? Hayley has a new partner right?

I can’t think of a single vacancy for her. Poor Kirsty, so many times she has been on the verge of having a family of her own and she always ends up alone. Maybe Jakob’s brother will finally decide to settle down and they will self-build a cabin on the edge of the rewilding site.

Doesn’t Kirsty own Helen’s house? Maybe she’ll evict Helen and the boys, or move in. I can’t remember if she owns it outright after her husband left it to her (his name escapes me). It’s strange that Alastair isn’t just moving out. If he stays in the village he can easily keep an eye on his dad, as can Jazzer. There’s lots of support really.

Oh gosh I totally forgot K was H’s landlady!

Maybe she could stay with Helen and the boys for a while. But I guess house unlikely to be a 4 bed and Lee moving out would not have freed up a room. Unless he had one full of action figures…

I think the prob for Alistair moving out is no suitable vacancy in the village close enough to keep an eye on his Dad, so handy that Roy’s place is coming up.

Well, if the SWs can have Oliver living at Grange Farm with his tenants, I imagine they’d have no difficulty making the same arrangement for Kirsty!

Maybe Kirsty could be Jim’s new housemate? I could imagine them getting in quite well.

... not just with his tenants, but (with the exception of Clarrie), the most inconsiderate, noisy, dirty, dodgy tenants Ambridge has to offer! The only possible upside for Oliver is Clarrie's cooking, and I guess there's a chance he would be lonely on his own. Technically, it would also make him less central as a character, but he seems to have been sidelined for now anyway - so much so that I forgot him for my list of people who might die soon. And the rare times we've heard from him have been at GG, so not relevant to his living situation.

It still irks me that the Grundy finances can stretch infinitely to cover the (albeit below market rate) rent now they've lost Joe's pension and Will's contribution. All we heard was one (?) mention from Clarrie reassuring Will that they would manage. But how?!

That could be a good solution. Or maybe Stella's place could sprout more bedrooms to house all the women not related to Archers. Fallon can go in there too once she splits from Harrison.

Speaking of houses, is Shula meant to be coming back anytime soon, to make Lily, Josh, and Paul homeless? I thought her thing in Sunderland was only supposed to be a pre-ordination pastoral placement, but she seems to have gone permanently. If she's really left for good, maybe she'll sell The Stables. Does Alistair have any capital in it?

I stopped caring about Oliver when they inexplicably turned him into a hotel manager by virtue merely of having been married to one and investing in her business, then lost even more interest when he came to his senses and sold the place yet popped back up AGAIN as a hands-on manager after the sale, despite being well past retirement age. It’s a really stupid plot line.

And did they ever actually deal with Roy resigning from GG or was it all just implicit?