Archers thread #172: Come on, Clive! Spill the beans and put us all out of our misery. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that Clive sounds deeply misunderstood, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Fete over, cricket season over - can the Flower and Produce show be far behind? I don't think I've heard a mention of it this year. Have I not been paying attention?

In any real village, preparations for the Christmas show would already be under way, but not in Ambridge, of course. I am probably in a minority of one in regretting this.

With any luck, though, by Christmas this incredibly protracted tale of Alice, George and the crash will be behind us at last. Do we think Clive's really gone? I don't believe it. We won't be rid of him that easily. Will he go to the police himself? Will he attempt to blackmail his family or extort money from the Aldridges in return for information that would secure Alice's acquittal? Do we care? I find I don't really, unfortunately. I did enjoy hearing Clive for those few brief exchanges but I've had enough now. Unrelieved nastiness is not really what I want from TA.

Over to you!

I've never understood how the Grundys can afford to live at Grange Farm, even if it is rent-free. Council tax and utility bills must be hefty. I dare the writing team to add a piece about how they've lost their winter fuel payments!

Is Keepers Cottage still empty? For some reason I thought the replacement gamekeeper didn't need it. If not, Kirsty could buy a houseboat and moor up next to Rex.

I expect Roy had so many weeks of annual leave owed to him, what with never doing anything, that he just rang up (silently) and said he wasn't coming back.

I’m sure Rex’s boat could house half the village - if required for plot purposes …

Yes, I think we were told this.

The new Robert is extremely odd, nothing like Robert at all! Alistair seems to have lost many IQ points since falling in love, and apple white/dark green sounds more like public loo decor than a cosy sitting room. I think Brad would have heard of Plato. That was a seriously bad episode!

Fallon can go in there too once she splits from Harrison.

Or maybe Fallon and Kirsty could be housemates? Fallon/Harrison own Woodbine Cottage IIRC, so if she was to stay she'd need someone to help her cover the mortgage.

Or maybe Joy might like a lodger? She might confess about Rochelle over a late night glass of wine. Personally I’d find that more likely than Jim. I like Jim but I’d personally find sharing a house with a much older man a bit cringe.

Who knows though? Remember when Hannah couldn’t find anything affordable in the village. I can’t imagine Kirsty’s job is well paid but she might be making some money from the rental house.

There was a discussion on the last thread about Kirsty evicting Helen and the boys. Most people concluded it wouldn’t happen because she couldn’t bear to live in the Evil House again with all the memories of Philip and the slaves/horses.

I think Joy is the most likely option although Mick might be eyeing up a move into her house..

Surely if she moves in with Joy it would basically be the same as living in the Evil House. They're new build houses next door to one another, I imagine they're identical except for interior decor, and Helen must have changed that since she moved in.

Is Mick still living in a camper-van parked at Grey Gables or did I imagine that? I can't imagine that camper-van life is much fun when it gets really cold.

HotCrossBunplease
Would Abbie be doing A levels this year or not that old?

She was born on 7th March, 2008, so she is now sixteen.

I wonder whether Philip will be out on early release?

I quite like Robert, but his new found enthusiasm for litter picking and neighbourhood watch just seems to be a plot device to enable him to turn up somewhere unannounced.

This week's plots are ridiculous and we're not even halfway through the week.

I dare the writing team to add a piece about how they've lost their winter fuel payments!

Not sure that that will affect the Grundys, given that they seem to have gone through life without any awareness at all of the potential availability of benefits and tax credits.

He's not the old Robert we knew and loved.

Ruth - well Jill, as you’re no longer contributing to the heating bills we’ll have to turn the radiator off in your room

I normally lurk (started listening properly to TA the night of The Great Fall of 2011 for reference) and have got back into a sequence of listening more as episodes are broadcast so can hopefully join in. In fact I only came back to listening to TA because of these threads: I dropped out due to irritation at the Second Coming of Rod/Rob and only started again when I peeked at the threads and saw the crash story: you should all be on a finders fee from the BBC.

At the moment I'm liking Alice's complicated alcohol and self-awareness story, and the drama of the crash and Geowwrge and the various families, and I even think Harrison's behbeh is a good story because he's so infuriating.

I agree re the Brookfield kids not being properly integrated. I don't know what the problem is with Pip, the torn-between-two-brothers thing should have been long-term torrid and wasn't. Now she's an unbelievable lesbian. Idk if it's the actor or the writing - there's no range of emotion in all her relationships, she goes from rather annoyed to rather smug and that's it.

Also agree re characters' ages: I wonder if the SW - who must be new generations themselves - almost felt there could be sleight of hand so popular characters' ageing slows down as they sometimes do in novel sequences and TV dramas. E.g. the unlikely activities of ninety-something housekeeper Jill, as if she were twenty or more years younger; Lillian, Brian, Oliver et al are also in the thick of their business enterprises and planning as if they were in their fifties or sixties, heads of farm households speak as if they were just middle aged. They're all around 20 years out of synch I reckon. But unlike characters in novels and serials who aren't firmly set in time, these characters have definitive ages and mapped histories which are part of the drama, so it's not sustainable.

Remember when that plane fell on Emmerdale?

Oh no wait! There's a much more ambitious possibility here of truly exploiting the rural setting of TA. It could take nearly a year to build. Lynda's greatest (and final) Midsummer (Midsommar) celebration. The whole village gathering in a ceremony of fire and renewal on the village green. Not only are all the elders consumed for the future good of the community but PC Harrison Burns fulfils his ultimate destiny inside the blazing body of a wicker sheep.

The Archers: the folk horror edition.

Oh, thank you @BinaryDot ! What a splendid idea.
I have often thought a Wicker Man atop Lakey Hill would be no bad thing, but hadn't considered a Wicker Sheep on the village green!

Yes, I'll go along with that! He's no Edward Woodward, but that should be no obstacle. (The Wicker Man is one of the worst films I've ever seen, but there's no denying it's got a powerful ending.)

Who'd be the Christopher Lee counterpart? Brian?

Whilst I would like to hear the back of Harrison, I am concerned by the potential noises he would subject us to as he burns to death.

would be a very good long game from the sw though

If we were re-casting the folk of Ambridge as Wicker Man characters Gaspode, I feel Jim would have to be Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee): a patrician scholar of ancient myth, with a superior disdain for Christianity and a certain gleeful rudeness. I reckon Soosan, Emmur and Tracey would be the somewhat pre-loved maidens up for cheering on the sacrifices and Eddie Grundy was made to be the leering hobby-horse.

The noises would be a serious consideration Bruisername. Possibly after the utterance of "Oh God, oh Jesus!" a lightly singed chicken falls in his mouth and we are spared them?

He's still in the van as far as we know.

There was a horrific episode a few weeks back when we were subjected to hearing him and Joy frolicking in there and alluding to their night of passion. I don't know why Oliver would put up with a camper van in the grounds of GG. Or was there a ridiculous sub-plot where he doesn't know Mick lives there? I can't remember if I imagined that!

I forgot about the camper van. I’d discounted Joy as a potential housemate for Kirsty because I imagined that Mick spent a lot of time there, and that they enjoyed cavorting about in and out of the hot tub.

Neil 😢

Good old Neil.

Gosh, this is going to be so hard for the Carters and Grundys and Horrobins. Probably Oliver too. And not easy for the Bridge Farm clan - dragging up old wounds.

No wonder the SWs thought we needed room decoration ‘hilarity’ yesterday.