Archers thread #169: Denise rocks the boat in more than one way! Will Chris find a message in a cider bottle? Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

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Thanks to @LikeTalkingToLassie and @BrightYellowDaffodil for title inspiration. Is this the end for Denise and John? It does seem odd to introduce John now if he's going to disappear. He has a lovely voice.

Over to you!

I have vitamin D and calcium tablets on prescription.

The joys of being "pale and interesting", eh?!

Well done Paul! Telling Alistair where to shove his job👏👏👏

Agree.

I may even have shouted "Ha! Serves you bloody right" out loud.

Alistair is not Paul's employer: they both work for Lovell James, which owns a chain of vet surgeries. I don't see Paul as being much of a loss to them. Nor do I see them giving a flying ferret about sexual shenanigans in their surgeries, unless innocent hamsters (if any hamster can truly be described as "innocent") are crushed during the proceedings.

“Shove off!” was hilarious. I did think they SWs could have attempted a better (probably slightly longer) phrasing which would have better conveyed his meaning and emotion than a weak-sounding substitution for a forbidden word though….

Any suggestions, I can’t think of one immediately though?

Maybe "Go stick it!"

big employers can be very interested in relationships between employees as it can cause issues - as seen by this!

Better than "Go stick it": <sings> "Go stick your head in a pig".

I know not that lyric but will take your word for it Gonners!

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, @JanglyBeads

Im also a pale redhead and take calcium and vit D and wear a hat because my head gets burnt in the sun if I dont and I dont realise until I brush my hair ouch!.
Pauls such a baby and totally undignified what a flouncer.

Flouncing out of THAT surgery seems reasonable enough, but Lovell James would probably prefer to transfer a trained and usually competent staff member to another practice than to lose him completely. Was Paul's extended leave earlier in the year unpaid?

Yeah, but I don’t want to lose Paul. He’s one of the few men whose voices are recognisable

There's just not enough jeopardy in Paul flouncing out - the vet practice used to work perfectly well with just one vet nurse so it doesn't feel like make or break. I just can't get worked up at all about this story (except I quite like Paul as an actor - distinctive voice, immediately distinguishable from Ben or Josh for example).

Great minds @MereDintofPandiculation

In a real village within a few miles of a larger town (how far is Borchester? easy commute anyway) he'd get a job in a practice there and could go on living in Ambridge.

Well, Alistair mentioned Dan a couple of days ago - so all my fingers are crossed for his imminent return.

I’d far rather Alistair and Denise left than Paul - and unless the Archer connection is revived through Dan I really can’t see the point of Alistair (or, unfortunately, Jim) in Ambridge.

In real life, Paul would leave his job, find another one and also look for somewhere else to live. Alistair lives in Ambridge and Denise works there. Why would he want to maintain any connection with the place? His Dad lives elsewhere, as far as I can make out. Alistair is most unlikely to leave because of Jim.

I really can’t see the point of Alistair (or, unfortunately, Jim) in Ambridge - I have to respectfully disagree here @TottersBlanklyTowardsImaginarySunlight. The point of Alistair is that he is the vet - and Ambridge needs a vet in the same way it needs a vicar (also no Archer connection). Jim has well and truly earned his place - one of my favourite characters and one who can genuinely make me laugh with his Latin interjections and wry comments. He and Jazzer used to be a matchless double act - certainly a head and shoulders above the usual sub-Carry On shenanigans that we are forced to endure in the shape of so-called comic interludes (the Sheriff of Nottingham costume mix-up at GG anyone?)

I'm here for the potato salad with vinaigrette rather than mayonnaise recipes rather that the storylines. Former much tastier. Anyone got a recipe they could point me towards?

Oh - Ambridge definitely needs a vet!

And I also love Jim. (Particularly with Jazzer.)

I do just feel that Alistair as a character has been exhausted now. To me he mattered when he was married to an Archer, (with an investment in Archer land and property) and the adoptive father of an Archer child (whose upbringing was of significance to the wider community). His dependence on, and worry about the future of his practice if he lost, First Family business always provided interesting tension. But those journeys are over - and I don’t much care about his emotional dramas when he’s not scrambling for Archer patronage.

I do know it’s just me. And I promise not to say ‘Archer’ again today.

I make a sweetish vinaigrette, using wine vinegar or cider vinegar and sugar and mustard powder and olive oil. One part vinegar, one part sugar, quarter part mustard, 4 parts oil. Then lots of chopped fresh herbs.

Obviously you can get the same sweetness from using balsamic vinegar, sub in wholegrain mustard, I've seen suggestions of using maple syrup instead of sugar.

If I was doing salmon and salad I think I'd use mayonnaise with the cooked fish, herby vinaigrette on the warm spuds, and do a salad with leaves and nasturtium flowers but without a dressing. Maybe a nice 1960s plate of alternating thinly sliced cucumber and sliced (skinned) tomatoes sprinkled with black pepper and fresh golden marjoram leaves.

hungry now

Do you reckon Paul is going to complain to the employers about Alistair's unprofessional conduct with a subordinate, so we'll have another HR story?

As for EmnEd, I'm wondering if there is going to be a convergence with the kittens SL. As well as driving a wedge between Pip and Stella, kittens could either be rescued (EdnEm heroes), or be innocent martyrs (EdnEm kitty killers)...

edited for grammar

If I was doing salmon and salad I think I'd use mayonnaise with the cooked fish, herby vinaigrette on the warm spuds, and do a salad with leaves and nasturtium flowers but without a dressing. Maybe a nice 1960s plate of alternating thinly sliced cucumber and sliced (skinned) tomatoes sprinkled with black pepper and fresh golden marjoram leaves. I always find salmon (or any other oily fish) to oily for mayonnaise, so would use sauce tartare (or sweet chilli sauce) - something to cut through the oil. And perhaps a Greek style salad of finally sliced onions and tomatoes, rather than cucumber with the tomatoes. but with salmon I'd probably serve the cucumber, and a mixed green salad, and save the tomato salad for something else. It's probably a good job that I treat cooking as a private affair, for family consumption only.

Do you reckon Paul is going to complain to the employers about Alistair's unprofessional conduct with a subordinate, so we'll have another HR story? He might give it as his reason for leaving. Surely Alistair is getting towards retirement age? Couldn't he just retire and take Denise off to somewhere with a good swimming pool. and then we could listen to the persuaded-not-to-resign Paul getting used to a new vet.

Stupid Alistair, attempting to talk to Paul while he's still in the height of passion over a revelation that was only yesterday.

Interesting Paul doing that usual thing of putting all the blame on Alistair instead of his loved mother. I guess it's too much to re-write your mother.