Archers thread #160: Ram a lamb a ding dong! To rate the mass wisteria in Ambridge, tap the feedback tablet here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd have given a home to Hilda the Hellcat, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @MerryChristmasToYou, @OverArmour and @LillianGish for the thread title ideas.

This week is a bit better than last week, but the Brad/Adil/Lily stuff is very odd. Coming up to the anniversary of Jennifer's death (22nd January last year). We need a new matriarch - could that be Natasha? I find her quite an interesting character. Sometimes she's awful and then she has moments as last night where she utterly redeems herself.

Over to you!

So what was their plan - just to drive past and wave in the event a crime was unfolding?

That was not revealed through the medium of modern dance I mean, sorry, by Jolene.

Perhaps if a crime had been in progress someone could have jumped out into the road and shouted at them?

I know he was possibly not on duty and it wouldn’t be the normal way of doing things, but given the way The Archers works, and the apparent proximity of Harrison next door, that they might have asked him?

@OverArmour Well Harrison is the only policeman in the whole of the county so it was bound to be him who turned up anyway. Sure he’ll be making an appearance soon.

He did, last night, not being able to find any CCTV footage.

There's also the guy who turned up with Harrison when Rob was having his religious moment, and Harrison's boss has made a couple of appearances. And were there some more in the aftermath of Custardgate and the trial? It sounds positively overstaffed compared to around here. I spent 4 hours in a police station a couple of months back just waiting to see someone to report a crime to. 4 or possibly 5 officers for Borsetshire sounds like luxury! 😆

I’m sure you are right. I zone out whenever Harrison makes an appearance

Well Jolene’s story is a bit crap tbh. Disappointing.

Hmm … Jolene’s wondering all sounds a bit amorphous - what’s the reason for those people’s aggression and viciousness?

Yes, this. What on earth, from their point of view, do they gain by attacking Kenton, whom they have never seen before? Come to that, what do they gain by parking up in The Bull's carpark at all?

That was weird. And she was singing in the pub where the man instigated a bad fight years ago and she’s worried he would recognise her. Because she was singing before he had a fight?

Agree with all of the above.
But Vince is on the case.
But... what the CA said re tomorrow...

i got the impression they were bog standard baddies, dog dealing. Jolene thinks she had a run in with them once before, so hid in the basement because she was afraid of being recognised- though from her story I couldn’t see any reason why a bunch of misogynists would remember or recognise her.

They used the pub because they wrongly assumed that all the electrics were off, though happily for them, CCTV was turned off. Kenton went out, he wasn’t attacked (no sounds of anyone giving commands to the dog - although someone may simply have slipped its leash), their guard dog attacked him as it would have attacked anyone. Or, if the dog had been deliberately released on him, it was simply because he was poking his nose in, not because of Jolene.

But that explanation is silly because if you park up by a pub in the village centre, even if you think it is unoccupied, there’s a fair chance someone will ask what you’re doing, and “let the dog on him and when he’s down, scarper” isn’t much of a game plan

Feels like they’re bringing albert square to ambridge. Wonder if there will be a Christmas Day wedding/murder

I also don’t get why she wouldn’t have told Kenton after she recognised him on the first night - not really something to hide from him? Presumably something that would be good for him to know. And she was the one that was going to call the police before he got attacked, but now he has been she’s withholding information. Weird.

DH said thoughtfully that it all reminds him of a web comic he used to follow called "Axe Cop", which was drawn by a twenty-year-old and written by his five-year-old brother. Apparently that contained a lot of "and then this happened" moments, with very little to tie them to the previous "and then this happened " moment.

Isn't New Year's Day the equivalent in TA?

Much classier than EE and Corrie

I couldn’t make head nor tail of Jolene’s rambling story.

The man with the dog may or may not be someone who rushed onto stage when she was performing in Wolverhampton years ago. He then ended up in a fight involving knives and chains (with who?) outside the venue. Jolene now thinks he may have recognised her and his dog attacked Kenton. And there may be further violence/attacks because…? I don’t even understand why this man would hold a grudge against her.

Anyway, it’s all fine. Vince’s ‘people’ in the Black Country will track him down and justice will prevail.

It’s all so bizarre.

Just finished listening - if it is going the way of Eastenders then Vince was the wrong person to confide in as he will end up being shadier than shady and be involved and he just as dodgy as "Dave "used to think Vince was.

I preferred my bigamy story.

But now I’m worrying about Vince. I liked the way he was brought into the family hospital visiting - that felt natural, though his intuition re Jolene was a step too far. Even though he bested David and Ruth in a most unlikely manner last year, I’d rather he stayed well away from violent thugs.

And is ‘Shula’ de-retiring?? I did find it passing strange that Dan wasn’t brought back to claim his Ambridge inheritance before she left. Guess there’s still time if she hasn’t properly gone.

vince owns an abattoir. I think we all know how this is ending

I couldn’t make head nor tail of Jolene’s rambling story

It was like a terrible plot from an episode of Scooby Doo - with baddies and fighting and big vicious dogs.

I thought it was just me because I was trying to listen while going through passport control so I couldn't fully concentrate. Happy to hear I didn't miss anything, it just actually didn't make sense!

Edited for typo

In the scenario I can understand her recognising him and being worried but why on earth would he remember her? Is there more to it than she’s admitted to? It’s a ridiculous story if not!!

I suspect that she may flatter herself if she thinks she hasn't changed at all in thirty-plus years.