Archers thread #147: Spring is sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder how old Ambridge is. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Many thanks to @PseudoBadger for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

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Title comes from this poem, with which I drive my family to distraction at this time of year.

Spring is sprung, the grass is riz
I wonder where the birdies is.
The bird is on the wing.
But that’s absurd, the wing is on the bird.
Or so I’ve heard.

Ogden Nash

Apologies to @TeenDivided for ignoring her good ideas for the thread title. Here they are to kickstart our ruminations:
'window on the world of cheesemaking'
'how long until the intercom is fatal'
'will Brian settle in new pastures'
'Springing towards Easter with Widowers, Windows, and wails'

Over to you!

Actually, ignore that - a two acre site could support a coffee stop, or a burger place, plus enough cars charging to support it. But I think it might be marginal.

Judging by the fact that charging points in supermarket car-parks seem to take up the space previously used by parking spaces, I would think quite a lot would fit into two acres, even allowing for the gaps between the rows of spaces so that cars can be driven to them. I don't think the car park of our local Lidl is as much as an acre, and it has spaces for sixty-five cars.

I suppose it would depend how long it takes to charge a car these days whether a caff next to the charging points would be an economic proposition.

What it might not have, in Ambridge, might to be an adequate electricity supply for that number of cars all charging at the same time. Maybe roofing it with solar panels and installing banks of batteries under it would be the answer to that. (Note placement of tongue relative to cheek as I made this post.)

Lord, what a thought. David repeatedly turning to murderous rage with machinery!

Weeks of serious sleep deprivation and intense pressure of working round the clock during lambing and calving season (harvest time ditto) can cause even the mildest mannered farmer to behave out of character, mind you.

We heard about the near-killing of one lamb, but he would additionally worry that the dog chase may now cause pregnant ewes to miscarry.

Random idiot walker to blame, I assume, as locals would know better.

"the buyers for the land they are selling have put in a request for a change of use – for an electric vehicle charging station."

change of use hasn't been granted yet though. And I think they mean planning consent which would require change of use, but you can apply for on any type of land.

"it would depend how long it takes to charge a car these days whether a caff next to the charging points would be an economic proposition."

There are different types of charger for different circumstances. Slow, fast and rapid. A slow charger takes about 3 hours, a rapid about 20 minutes.

Perhaps this is what's mind for Ambridge? motorwayservices.uk/Braintree_Electric

Where was Kirsty when we needed her! She would have teamed up with Jim before you could say "crested newts"! There is no way they could get planning permission in a matter of weeks.

There is also the small matter of getting an adequate electricity supply out to the field; look how much it is costing Rishi just to heat his shiny new pool: www.theguardian.com/politics/2023/mar/12/rishi-sunak-has-electricity-grid-upgraded-to-heat-his-private-pool

Why is Lynda not involved? She is generally onto any environmental issue like a rat up a drainpipe.

She might see a green energy (depending on where they're getting the electricity) project that will provide local jobs as a good thing. In a normal rural community there would be at least as many people desperate to see it built as against it, and skin and hair would be flying by now. Justin would not need to lurk in the shop to hear opinions - the village website and the local paper between them would give him what he needs.

"She would have teamed up with Jim before you could say "crested newts"!"

you're all on fine form today, cackling at this

I thought Kirsty didn’t mind the idea of the charging station as she isn’t anti-electric cars

Joy and Brine. The 🔮is almost never wrong

👀 I will not be forgiving those of you who shipped Brian and … Joy …

🤮🤮🤮

Is she always going to play this role??

And Paul and Harrison …

🧐

I haven't listened to tonight's yet, but I have two questions. What is an edible forest? A wood through which you can forage? Or a tiny 6 inch high " forest " of mushrooms etc through which a pixie might skip? Or something else? Adam mentioned raised beds in it, a few weeks ago, which doesn't seem to fit either of my mental pictures.

My second question is: isn't running a bed and breakfast and / or wedding venue a full time job? I'd be annoyed if that was how I earned my living and The Archers implied it could be slipped into hours a full-time carer had free.

Maybe something to do with forest gardening. Top layer of fruit trees of various sorts, middle layer of currants and so on, ground layer of strawberries. Works better in a sunny climate than ours (in S Portugal and Greece the trouble is too much sun, and they plant in the shade of trees, here the problem is not enough sun and it’s very difficult to find much that flourishes under trees)

My second question is: isn't running a bed and breakfast and / or wedding venue a full time job? B&B probably not. Full on over breakfast, and on change-over days, but you often get someone in to do that. If you pay to be on a booking site, you don’t even need to man the phone.

An edible forest garden (you mustn't forget the "garden" bit it seems to be important) of the Adam type seems to be a few fruit-bearing trees and bushes planted in raised beds, with various vegetable species planted round them. Pretty-much the same as what Mike Tucker called a market garden, except you don't have to do any weeding to speak of. How that last bit works I have no idea, but that was given as a selling point when the BBC had a programme about it about a year ago; what you do if your edible forest develops couch grass as a determined monoculture, or ground ivy ditto, I don't know, but presumably if it gets brambles or nettles you just regard them as food and don't worry too much.

I think the edible forest thing must be a bit like the hydroponics (with the fish shitting) thing, but now they have to buy in chemicals to grow micro-herbs and salad leaves.

Where did the fish go, Adam!

Thanks everyone for such prompt answers😀

A Solar Farm would be a more profitable and more realistic venture for Damara. That would give the locals something to protest against.

Would two acres be enough?

Oh dear. Brine can stick up for himself, no problem, but poor Joy getting dragged into this.

I'm worried about Brian; I think this is the third time since the funeral that he's been out of breath without any hard physical exertion being involved.

If any one of Jennifer's intrusive children had noticed this I would think better of them, but they haven't so I don't. I just go on thinking they ought to leave him alone a bit, or at least knock before they waltz in on him without any warning.

I thought Debbie was meant to be fairly well-grounded. Talk about over-reacting. I know we need some sort of SL to make her appearance worthwhile but she’s hardly acting like the femme-du-monde we are led to believe she is. Poor Brian. How tiresome to have to deal with this mix-up…

I agree about Debbie. While she's rarely around, her rounding on Brian in such manner, and while Joy was nearby seems unlike, well, anyone. Also, such flimsy evidence.

She has believed him to be an unforgivable and unredeemable scoundrel/cad/rotter since December 2002, and assumes the worst about him on no evidence whatever as a result.