💀 Archers thread #132: The Grim Reaper joined the cast; The Bard of Ambridge breathed his last. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think Shula will make an excellent vicar, or other unusual things.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed.

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to many of you for title suggestions. @JanglyBeads said that this thread had to be a Bert tribute so needed a rhyming title. From an excellent field, I chose the suggestion from @BorsetshireBanality (who also has a cracking username).

Check out the last thread for the other suggestions and various poetic offerings inspired by Bert Fry's passing. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4349822--Archers-thread-131-A-time-to-plant-a-time-to-reap-Discuss-The-Archers-here

So, who'll get the bungalow? Rex, Stella, Pip? If Rex has to move, will he doss down beside his pigs at Lower Loxley? Or will Rex be a resident at Her Majesty's pleasure, having bumped off Trevor for being the world's most boring man? Now Freddie's on the case, are Russ's days at LL numbered? Will we ever hear Jill again, or was Bert just the first of many older cast members to be dedded?

Over to you!

I assume the SWs are all London-based and can't imagine that St Pancras isn't handily down the road. I've been asked in all seriousness why I don't just "hop on the train to Paris" for a weekend more than once. Er... because it takes 5 hours to get to London to hop on the train.

Dander has a Granny Peggy.

I used to get asked, years ago now, why I didn't travel abroad when I live near an airport and flights are so cheap.. At the time the cheap flights were from Stansted, an hour and a half away.

Well at least Paris hasn't gone into lockdown!

The limo ride to London and back must have cost a small fortune (for some reason I think it just did 20mpg).

So much of a build up for so little.

I have just eaten 3 staffordshire oatcakes

How much time did they have at the ceremony/party?

There's a Eurostar at 19.00 but they would need to be there by 18.00- 18.15. Is Manchester north or south of Ambridge? Google maps is telling me it's 4hrs plus from Manchester to London (whatever "London" means)

Manchester is definitely north of Ambridge

Manchester - London isn't 4 hours.

I eat my words. I'm sure I've done it in less than that

@WhoppingBigBackside

Manchester is definitely north of Ambridge

Manchester - London isn't 4 hours.

Allowing for the vagueness of what is meant by "London" Google has the distance as 215 miles so if you managed to do 70 all the way you could in theory do it in just over 3 hours. In real life of course that's impossible.

AA route planner has it as 4 hours from Manchester to St. Pancras but that can't possibly take account of traffic snarls

I think I've done it in just over 3. A long time ago.
A clear run and no speed cameras

I've always imagined Ambridge to be south-west(ish) of Brum and wiki says it is based on the village of Cutnall Green, just north of Worcester.

Google maps suggests a 2.50 - 3 hour journey of 126 miles down the M40, which might get "interesting" on a Sunday after 4pm. Then of course there is the ULEZ and congestion charges to deal with.

Oh, and a pre-departure (not self-administered) Covid test.

I wonder why they didn't just get on a plane from Bristol (there is one at 18:35 - just checked - £40 each next Sunday).

Or the train to London like Rory did. If Ambridge is near Worcester, then Worcester to Paddington is 2 and a half hours with a very good service even on a Sunday. Although Paddington to King's Cross/St. Pancras can, according to my phone app , involve the horrors of the Circle line. (App also gives second choice of Hammersmith and City - but why make the Circle the first option?)

My brain also thought about all the illogical stuff like why head off from the party. (Were they planning to leave GG for the Eurostar if the original venue had not been changed.)

And it was yet another thing Eddie planned for without consulting Clarrie

But Eddie and Clarrie saying they lurved each other got to me.

@KimikosNightmare

Or the train to London like Rory did. If Ambridge is near Worcester, then Worcester to Paddington is 2 and a half hours with a very good service even on a Sunday. Although Paddington to King's Cross/St. Pancras can, according to my phone app , involve the horrors of the Circle line. (App also gives second choice of Hammersmith and City - but why make the Circle the first option?)

Ceremony starting at 2pm, Eurostar leaving at 7pm, requirement to check in 120 minutes (not an hour) before departure makes it 5pm at St Pancras.

There is simply no way they could have made this journey in the time allowed for it. Not via Worcester, not via Birmingham New Street, not nohow, because whatever route they took they would have to get to the station from which they were departing, and that would take well over half an hour even in the nippiest limo evah, and also involve parking the thing and getting the tickets. At the other end they would have to get across London: easier from Euston than from Paddington but still add time for that as well.

(Wiki can claim Ambridge is based on Cutnall Green all it likes, the people who invented Ambridge based it on Inkberrow. There are other points on which Wiki is factually inaccurate...)

Wiki is not always accurate

Just off to look up Cutnall Green.

A flight from Brum or Bristol would have made a lot more sense.

I really didn't need to hear Alan drunk.

@Taswama

Just off to look up Cutnall Green.

A flight from Brum or Bristol would have made a lot more sense.

I really didn't need to hear Alan drunk.

Almost anything would have made more sense, but the Eurostar at seven was what Eddie said they would be catching. And he said it at well after two o'clock.

Pleased I wasn’t the only one unconvinced by the timings of the day. Can I also add Alan turning up in a fluster because Neville Booth caught him outside church - surely the church service would have been at 9 or 10am. How long was he caught by Neville that he only just got to Grange Farm by 2??

...and no mention of vaccination passports and locator forms for the way back!

Boop, boop Chelsea and Lynda.

What a poisonous piece of work Lighthouse is.

@WhoppingBigBackside

Wiki is not always accurate

I hadn't picked up the ceremony started at 2. In which case Wiki's inaccuracies pale into oblivion compared to script writers' inaccuracies about travelling times.

Chelsea “being in with a bad crowd” does not fit with anything we have heard of her on air. She is knuckling down at college after advice from CallMeRuss and clearly has some skills with her hairdressing. I do agree that Mia needs some friends instead of just nagging her grandparents about meat and recycling. Why isn’t she getting work experience with the rewilding project?

Absence of proximity to First Family.

Lovely glimpse into the future last night, with Chelsea establishing her place in the village. Imagine - a Horrobin with a skill! (Whose natural end point is not a prison cell.)