💀 Archers thread #132: The Grim Reaper joined the cast; The Bard of Ambridge breathed his last. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think Shula will make an excellent vicar, or other unusual things.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4197199--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-6-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed.

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to many of you for title suggestions. @JanglyBeads said that this thread had to be a Bert tribute so needed a rhyming title. From an excellent field, I chose the suggestion from @BorsetshireBanality (who also has a cracking username).

Check out the last thread for the other suggestions and various poetic offerings inspired by Bert Fry's passing. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/4349822--Archers-thread-131-A-time-to-plant-a-time-to-reap-Discuss-The-Archers-here

So, who'll get the bungalow? Rex, Stella, Pip? If Rex has to move, will he doss down beside his pigs at Lower Loxley? Or will Rex be a resident at Her Majesty's pleasure, having bumped off Trevor for being the world's most boring man? Now Freddie's on the case, are Russ's days at LL numbered? Will we ever hear Jill again, or was Bert just the first of many older cast members to be dedded?

Over to you!

According to some. According to others, it doesn't. Each to his or her (or any other three hundred's) own.

Porridge made with milk is an abomination. It is like eating a sicked up oatcake

I said nothing about making it with milk!

So what do you reckon to cranachan, then?

Never tried it. I don't like cream and not keen on raspberries

I like shortbread and oatcakes (scottish and north midlands)
and dundee cake and tunnock's teacakes

A couple of weeks ago I found a Constance Spry cookbook in a charity shop for 99p. I opened it on a recipe for Parkin.
I might start baking

I think Kirby is doing something on the production or script editing side rather than writing so wouldn’t get a credit probably.

Porridge is universally vile, however it is made. So many people have said to me “you will love my porridge” - not true.

Parkin is lovely. I use Delia Smith's recipe (as I do for most things).

Cranachan is a real treat. I make it with lightly whipped double cream, Greek yoghourt, whisky, toasted oatmeal, honey and raspberries. Only when British, and ideally Scottish, rasps are in season, mind you.

I'm not all that keen on porridge. This is a heretical thing for a Scot to say, but truth must out. My mother has it most days and makes it with rolled oats, a little salt and water, on the hob. She pours a bit of cold cow's milk over the piping hot porridge in the bowl. No sugar or anything sweet. She regards that as an abomination. On the odd occasion I have it, that's how I make it too.

My (English) husband appals Mum by making porridge by mixing rolled oats and cow's milk in a bowl and putting it in the microwave. It's like wallpaper paste. At least he doesn't add syrup or sugar.

Mum also does lovely new potatoes in the summer months by boiling them and then tossing the drained potatoes in a little butter and some pinhead oatmeal.

Oats are a very fine food. I hope Oliver is a porridge man. Good for the heart.

Oatcakes are food of the Gods. Forgot those. The baker round the corner from my parents makes excellent oatcakes. I stock up on my trips north and eke them out over the succeeding weeks. Wonderful creamery on the island too, so I get cheese to go with them.

Oatcakes are indeed lovely as is muesli, flapjacks, cranachan and almost anything made of oats except porridge. I’m also Scottish but didn’t catch the porridge gene.

I make porridge with coconut or oat milk and generally add a banana once cooked.

My grandad added salt and butter to his.

I miss Hayley more than Mike, but she presumably won't be visiting Ambridge any time soon.

I’m never quite at ease unless there are several kilos of oats in the larder. Though I like oatmeal just as much as rolled oats.

There’s a recipe for oatcakes in Sally Clarke’s Book that is so hopelessly more-ish I can no longer be trusted to keep butter in the house. (I manage most cakes perfectly well with oil, but that definitely doesn’t work for oatcakes.) Right now I have butter waiting for the Christmas cake. It will be a miracle if it stays in the fridge.

I eat porridge most days in winter. Made with water to the consistency I like. I do add maple syrup. Don't like fruit and Golden Syrup make me feel sick (okay in flapjacks though).

Porridge made with oat milk (tastes better than water although this seems illogical). Blueberries, no sugar most days. If no blueberries then banana or nice jam.

I make porridge most days in winter - my younger son announces that it’s porridge season and off we go. I’m obviously a terrible English heathen though, because I make it with milk and rolled oats, and then put more (cold) milk and a sprinkling of sugar on it. I then chop it up in the bowl in the same way that my Dad used to when I was little. I hadn’t realised how reminiscent of my childhood it was until my aunt was staying recently and the sound of her doing it made me feel about 9. I discovered from her that my Grandpa chopped his porridge that way too .

Ds has peanut butter and jam mixed into his - probably also not on the Scottish porridge playbook.

Poor Clarrie: once again her wishes are completely unconsidered by her oaf of a husband.

Surely porridge made with water generates its own oat milk?

What about Staffordshire oatcakes then? My father has described them hanging to dry over a line in the kitchen, which meant I wasn’t too taken aback to be given an oatmeal pancake thing. Nice, though.

Peanut butter needs marmalade, not jam.

Lynda should ask Clarrie to be god.

unconsidered by her oaf of a husband
IRTA 'oat of a husband ': can't think why...

Surely porridge made with water generates its own oat milk?

You would think so but it tastes different made with oat milk. More creamy.

I really can't stand Eddie.

Eddie is one of those people I would never employ and never buy a drink. If I could avoid talking to him I would. If he asked me for anything I would say "no", and not give any reason he could wheedle about.

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime

In fact I am sure she does, since she knew that both Kathy and Roy would be away from the hotel over the new year.

Didn’t Oliver ask why it was her business given that she doesn’t work there any more?

No: he just asked her what business it was of hers, full stop.

Staffordshire oatcakes are lovely. I wish they were easier to get outside Staffs.