Archers thread #114: Bull banished, Bali beaches beckon, bickering bullshitters burgeon

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like Gavin to stay around, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3439443-keep-it-to-yourself-the-archers-spoilers-thread-4, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks for all thread title suggestions! I've gone with a B theme which with a bit of luck will seem odd and irrelevant by the end of this thread. Here's hoping, anyway.

Haven't caught up with tonight's episode yet, so off to do that shortly.

You tell her DadDadDad. She deserves a halibut for that.
Bad puns are not whelkome.

Tracy Horribin’s guide to the Archers? Anyone listened?

I certainly think Philip will cark it, MollyB. Hopefully after the wedding, but I fear the story will be Gavin fighting for Kirsty's house. He's already moving in. Kelly has obviously seen his true colours.

They should introduce Gavin to Hannah, what a truly horrific couple they would make.

I don't understand why Kirsty is being such a doormat now though. TBH I've often found her a sanctimonious wet blanket but she was never afraid to say what she thought.

Noluthando was the one who started Freddie on dealing; he did not think of it himself, it was entirely her idea

They went picking Shrooms but largely were picking what sounded more like field mushrooms. Two stupid teenagers at that stage, one of them very unhappy. Nolethando was not responsible for Freddie's money making venture which went way beyond a few Shrooms with friends for coppers.

He was dealing to make money for shark fishing and his trip round the world without having to get a pesky, common job like any other teen would have to. It was an easy buck. He has taken advantage of everyone who tries to help him and caused trouble for them. He even carried on dealing after Nolethando's overdose.

Freddie is entirely responsible for his own problems and has far more luck than he deserves.

Scene - cafe near broadcast house (or where ever TA scriptwriters work) two people sit at a table nervously glancing round.

SW - are you sure nobody saw you coming here?

Intern- yes, I said I was going to see HR about my contract, they won’t expect me back for hours. I distracted them by suggesting we should introduce a character who might be an alien, they’re very keen...I should never have mentioned Dr Who in that meeting.

SW - right then let’s recap on how “get this show back on the road” is going. I think this week wasn’t too bad, a bit unfortunate that we couldn’t stop the Neil demotion story, but hopefully we can turn it around after he comes back from his holiday. I’m pleased with the Jim sections, and even Vince finally got a third dimension to his character. What does Mumsnet think?

Intern - more positive feedback, definitely. They’ve come up with a theory about references to fish that might be fun to pursue. I don’t think they’ll mind when Gavin falls under the digger either.

SW - and what do they think we should do next...

Is Kirsty being a doormat? I thought that after her terrible experience of rejection (on her wedding day!), some sympathy for Gavin had kicked in despite what she had previously thought of him. The way we heard her offering Phil and Gavin a cup of tea, it felt as if she could genuinely see he was upset. So, she has some humanity and is fine with Gavin staying.

Phil and Kirsty's big mistake is not to set a timeline: "I said to Kirsty you'll need just a couple of days, but she very kindly said stay a week - take that time to sort yourself out."

Sorry, that should say "Phil and Kirsty's big mis-hake "

Phil and Kirsty's big mistake is not to set a timeline their bigger mis-hake is not to have got married and sorted out ownership of the house. Gavin is a potential Hazel Woolley in the making if anything happens to Phil. I’m a bit surprised at her agreeing he can stay after letting himself in, rummaging in their wardrobes and being so aggressive. But let’s not forget that Kirsty was the one who discovered the dead fish in the Am while literally swimming among them so the omens are not looking good for her.

Tracy Horribin’s guide to the Archers? Anyone listened?

I’m listening now ...

It seems pretty clear the BBC intend to turn TA entirely over to podcasting - so there’s just no point holding out against it. Much as it pains me.

My first thought was that Tracy would be the ideal person to reprise Tom Forrest’s Sunday morning monologue. She has a lovely voice, she’s generally an astute observer of manners and morals during the week and, having a similar, one step removed, relationship to the First Family, she’s really well connected while being anti-establishment. (I really miss those monologues - amongst the happiest memories of my childhood; sprawled on the floor in my parents bedroom, tea and toast, Sunday papers, Nova, family gossip, long forgotten radio programmes ...)

But she’d need a better script than they’ve given her here: describing Will as Emma’s “one-time lover ...” suggests the LSW was unaware that Emma and Will were previously married.

I dunno, this swift canter through Ambridge life would surely be too complicated/involved to tempt new listeners, and it’s much too superficial for aficionados. They also have Tracy commenting on events she didn’t witness, which is odd. Overall I’m unclear about its purpose, other than as cheap airtime. (Though I have no understanding of the economics of podcasting.)

Wonderful analysis. My first thought was that Tracy would be the ideal person to reprise Tom Forrest’s Sunday morning monologue. Genius.

Phil and Kirsty's big mistake is not to set a timeline
... and some house rules.
Kirsty had the whiphand and didn't use it; she will come to regret that. She was too nice. She should have played the 'our house, our rules' card to ensure that Gavin is the gooseberry. Instead she will end up being the third wheel.

I hate to say it, but what’s brought me out of the cereal cupboard is not TA, but the talk of podcasts above. Having had no other choice but to download the awful Sounds app, I was distraught, DISTRAUGHT, I tell you, to find that with the demise of the iPlayer app I have lost my fiercely guarded and regularly listened to, not to mention shared, download of the complete series of Cabin Pressure.

I know I’m not the only fan on here so has this happened to anyone else and is there a solution? It was called, for some unknown reason, something like “Cumberbin’s Treasure”.

What makes it worse is that my kids are now also hooked and I don’t know how to break it them that CP is the one that got away...

Kirsty will turn up on here, asking how to get her difficult son IL out of the house. The open-endedness of the arrangement will cause her to be pounced upon and called a naive doormat who needs to grow a backbone, give a deadline and get married. She will also be told she has a 'DP problem' and that Phillip must eject Gav pronto, or else she should LTB.

Pretty sure Cabin Pressure is available elsewhere on the Internet.

If Gav has genuinely just been chucked out, (and I wouldn't entirely trust him,) then I think it's okay to give him the weekend, then say he's got to find somewhere else in a week. I assume as builders, they have housing contacts.

Thank you, Lil’G.

omg kirsty & phil ... like the property guys on tv...

@TeenyfTroon
www.podcasts.com/cabin-pressure--640e93906

MUM, you have made me very happy - thank you!

Kirsty and Philip will postpone their wedding out of delicacy and consideration for the whiney Gavin's feelings. He will not leave their house any time soon.

I thought Kirsty and Phil were going to elope but now it sounds like she’s inviting Helen and a few friends after all.
Loving the fish puns.

Loving the fish puns Shall I see if I can reel off a few more?

Gavin will ling-er in his father's house.

Kirsty should have taken the time to mullet over before saying yes to his moving in. I hope Gav doesn’t prove to be her nemo-sis.

Gavin isn't going anywhere. Bet he makes a drunken pass at kirsty too.

I wouldn't be surprised if it's more than a drunken pass.