Archers thread #114: Bull banished, Bali beaches beckon, bickering bullshitters burgeon

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like Gavin to stay around, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3439443-keep-it-to-yourself-the-archers-spoilers-thread-4, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks for all thread title suggestions! I've gone with a B theme which with a bit of luck will seem odd and irrelevant by the end of this thread. Here's hoping, anyway.

Haven't caught up with tonight's episode yet, so off to do that shortly.

Kelly(?) has dumped and thrown out the grasping bully, so he was straight round to Dad’s new house, with all his bags

That's a very straightforward take on the situation. It's a put-up job.
"Give us your ring, love. I'll go to Dad's for a bit and let slip you won't have me unless we get the money for Bali. Tidy!"

Poor Kirsty. I wonder what Gavin did to warrant being kicked out. He's going to be really nasty, and Kirsty will hide it from Philip.

Why is David so desperate to get Stephanie's booking? Also, I bet Vince's lawyer is dodgy. Josh should steer clear, he doesn't want to be beholden to Vince for any reason.

I thought exactly the same as theThreeofWeevils. Here’s hoping Gav starts on Kirsty not knowing his father is within earshot.

I think its going to be worse than that. I think Gavin is going to attack kirsty.

I thought both those things - faking for gain and violent attack (remembering the horrific thing that happened to Kathy) but wasn’t willing to give them house room.

The fakery would have made sense only until he declared that they’re decided on Crete instead. Why then try to screw money for Bali?

He’s very stupid, and didn’t Kirsty think he was a little over-familiar with her when they first met? If he fancied her himself that would explain his relentless nastiness towards her now. But I can’t bear more misfortune for her.

She started him dealing with shrooms (which are class A), encouraged him, said it was the way to get the money to go and visit her in RSA, and then abruptly turned puritan at him when he did some dealing in a different drug without her instructing him to. Then having done that she took one of the pills he had with him out of his hand and downed it in spite of him trying to stop her -- because she saw her mother coming. Yes, I know, that last bit makes no sense; it didn't then either. Lowfield: "Seeing Kate approaching, she asks him for a pill. He offers a quarter of one but she swallows the whole thing."

Ahem! I have advanced the fish-based indicator of doom before - proof: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/a3350367-As-Frilly-stress-Lizzy-out-did-the-SWs-forget-her-heart-defect-Will-there-be-long-term-llama-drama-karma-in-The-Archers#81030647

Quote: "I wonder if the writers have a fish-based scale (pun intended) of dramatic outcomes? Tin of sardines = mild peril..... I suppose fish are the main food type that a rural farming community can’t produce themselves, so they represent the unknown, a challenge to familiarity and stability. "

And @LillianGish was one of those who discussed it then!

The fakery would have made sense only until he declared that they’re decided on Crete instead. Why then try to screw money for Bali?

Because, more money. Or did you actually believe it about Crete? Bless.

I think its going to be worse than that. I think Gavin is going to attack kirsty

I do hope you are right, @Langsdestiny, but for 'worse', read 'better' (very nuptial, that)

DDD - I love your encyclopaedic knowledge of these threads. How could I have forgotten the fish based scale .

Lillian - to be honest I vaguely remembered my fish-as-alien-to-farmers theory, then did an advanced search on "fish" - "DadDadDad" - "Radio Addicts" and up it came...

(That search also revealed that two months after I made that post, you raised the idea again, and I pointed you back to the same post, so I'm probably beginning to come across as a bit obsessed about it. It's nothing personal!).

I'm a bit worried about Susan's plans to go diving with Neil in the Canaries now - to look at the fish!!!!!

Sorry, meant to add a reference to you trawling through the archives

trawling - I get it! Your fish-based witticisms are off the scale. I'll perch here and see if you have any more.

I'll perch here and see if you have any more.
Are you still there? You've made a rod for your own back. But she is a dab hand at puns; in fact, she's brill.

Just marking my plaice

Load of codswallop if you ask me.

I'd send Gavin packing.

I'm not fishing for compliments, but doesn't anyone think that I Am brill?

Maybe the fish theme is a red herring. TA is a load of carp these days.

The fish theory has me well and truly hooked. I’ll be tuna ing in to every episode from now on

... but enough clowning now

Seriously

I like the idea that gavin and kel are running a scam (well not like but you get what i mean) BUT i most dolphinately (sorry) did not like the casual throwaway reference to gavin ‘chatting away to emma’ at the playground ceremony. He better not throw any spanners in the works for the inevitable me n ed reunion 😡😡😡

I don't think Freddie's conviction was solely his own fault. I vaguely unreliably remember Noluthando suggesting they sold the magic mushroms Freddie found. Fish scale theory is brill and not at all pollocks.

Maybe Gavin could borrow money from a loan shark. Something fishy about him. Maybe Vince could cable him some money.

Gav and Kel should be left to flounder.

Maybe they could hire the Brookfield barn. The Dopeys probably haven't got weddings reeling in.

Gav's sob story has Philip and Kirsty hook line and sinker.

Oh no, what if Gav batters Kirsty. And how are Johnny's mussels doing?
Isn't Jazzer looking after Adam's fish?

Couldn't we have an Ambridge where everyone swims along nicely -
do we have to hear them baiting each other.

Maybe Johnneh is using barbels.

Are Philip and Kirsty convincing sole mates?

Dolphinately? DOLPHINATELY?! @MadameButterface - just get out. The piscine punning was going so well and you had to ruin it with that mammalian monstrosity? I’m more disappointed than angry, even though you did it on porpoise.