The Archers #96: Is that a rat I smell or the whiff of Snell? In Chaucer’s famous Tale of Two Torsos, Brian’s ‘still got it’ and Poldark is searching for scything opportunities in Susan’s kitchen.

[NotdeadyetBOING]

Welcome..... I'd concocted a longer title with all sorts of references to bitch stitching and pasta bakes, but was thwarted by the pesky character limit

I was quite pleased when Eddie's usual wheedling/blagging tactics didn't work with Justin. It always irritates me when he and Joe get away with the most outrageously selfish demands and taking advantage of people just because they're supposed to be lovable rogues.

Yep and it's always Clarrie and Emma cleaning up their mess, or covered in it!

@buckingfrolicks yep I think that too, before all the Emma being covered in poo conversation I said just that!

I also did not like the Emma being covered in poo and like PP was cringing as soon as Ed and Eddie started to deal with the portaloo

That last scene was grim. If I were Emma I'd be appalled (and incredibly anxious about the health hazard), not having a Hollywood movie hug with the others. As others have said: Eddie's sloppy attitude to planning things always ends up harming others rather than himself.

And yet again the clunky premise of someone wanting to say something but being deflected. In real life wouldn't Emma have shouted the news out as soon as she saw them? Or texted Ed?

I, too, wonder if there is going to be a s burgeoning, surreptitious romance between Wretched Russ and Traumatised Elizabeth . That would be a final straw for Lily , poor soul .

I couldn't understand why Russ gave Lily the brush off when they got back from Felpersham. Surely he would think that being Panic Attack Hero would be something to milk?

Because he now has his sight set on the Queen of Lower Loxely rather than princess Lily .

Oooh!

Well, it looks as if Home Farm is indeed passing out of Aldridge hands, if the exchange of contracts happened this afternoon. Aldridges in Willow Farm! I hope Betty haunts them.

(Does anybody else remember that during Brian's peak priapic period he apparently chased Betty Tucker round the swimming pool, or similar? She confided in Jill, who confronted Brian and sorted it all out. Jennifer wouldn't know, or perhaps it was one of the many things around then she chose to stick her head in the sand about.)

I hate it when TA 'does money'. Wouldn't the (non) Borsetshire Business Man of the Year, when his buyer started being demanding about completion dates etc, have agreed in return for a non-refundable deposit. So, when the buyer then tried to pull a fast one and drop the price, Brine could tell them to p** off and pocket the deposit.

Where is Betty buried. Do I recall that her ashes are under a tree somewhere at Willow Farm - Roy's bit or the Kemp's bit?

Yes, Bittermints, I remember that particularly sleazy bit of behaviour by Brian - and poor Betty was in a difficult situation as he was her employer at the time (she was cleaning for the Aldridges) and she couldn't afford to stop working for them.
I never understood why Caroline earned the soubriquet "the village bike", but I think I was living abroad at the time she had the affair with Brian (I assume that's what happened, from what I remember hearing afterwards.) and that was when the nickname originated. Any more info would be welcome!

Changing subject, but for any Archers fan still looking for that last minute Christmas gift, don't forget about our woodsmoke-inspired fragrance, Vanity of the Bonfires

It's better than Whiff of Snell...

I also kept wondering why they agreed to be gazundered, especially since they were doing so much to accommodate the buyer's others demands. Very unrealistic, unless they really expect a Brexit shitstorm to cause a massive collapse in property prices, which is actually very likely ...

Willow Farm was divided before Mike met Vicky.

I find that drop in sale price quite plausible, grumiosmum, something similar happened to me at a point when I had no other possible purchasers for the flat I was selling (in December) and the contract was due to be signed in a couple of days before the solicitors closed for Christmas and the New Year. The buyer had messed me around for 3 months already and had me over a barrel so I had no option but to agree to a a last minute £11.5k reduction in an already reduced sale price.

What was the sale price for a Home Farm? Does anyone have a Rightmove link?

Just caught the end of the omnibus, and I’m a bit disappointed there are no bottom-related witticisms on this thread.

Although the CA is going to be hard to beat: “who pinched Lynda’s bottom?”

What with the portaloo and the faux derriere I thought it hit a bum note.

Scraping the bottom of the barrel with all this toilet humour. A bum deal for listeners. Personally I can't see why everyone is getting their knickers in a twist - I'm quite happy to see the back (side) of the bottom.

I am a regular lurker but wanted to pop in and say Hi. I am also a wee bit worried about the next few weeks in Ambridge. 😲

Every time they mention the barn and the play all I can think of is fire!
(I should state for the record that although this is a wee bit like an Eastenders script I haven't watched TV soaps for over 10 years since my daughter was born! No bloody time 😁)

Given that Jill has declared it'll be the best Christmas ever, everyone in the family is attending and we now have a new Grace Archer, it all feels like it's coming full circle.

The mentions of health and safety etc all feel like foreshadowing of what is still to come. (I should declare I have watched too many versions of a Christmas Carol this week 🎅🏼😉)

I think the fire will be started by some shenanigans to do with Ben's new sheepdog. Bess I think she is called. Then the rest will follow. I don't think they will do anything to Pip's baby but perhaps we could lose Jill as she saves Rosie (I mean Grace!) from said fire?

I am no doubt very, very wrong but I can't shake the feeling of doom. Perhaps it's merely the thought of spending time with Pip at Christmas that's causing me to feel this way.

Off to have a lie down after all those melodramatics 🎅🏼😂🎅🏼😂🎅🏼😂🎅🏼😂🎅🏼😂

Ps
I had a wee tear in my eye when Ed and Emma got a house. Please DO NOT let anything bad happen to them and this house. I couldn't bear it.

RE. Russ the ManBoy making a move for Lizzie - I'm afraid the horrible thought had occurred to me, too. But surely Lizzie, even in her anxiety-addled state, would see this as Absolutely Beyond The Pale?? Her judgement has been awry in this regard before, but that would be just Way Too Jeremy Kyle, surely? And the way to alienate her children for, like, literally forevah?

Does anybody else remember that during Brian's peak priapic period he apparently chased Betty Tucker round the swimming pool, or similar?

Yes it was a particularly unpleasant episode on Brian's part. I remember thinking though it was not a million miles from many other women who have to continue working with the man who harassed them.

I never understood why Caroline earned the soubriquet "the village bike

I put that down to TASWAMA - no such soubriquet was ever applied to Brian who could have won the Tour de France for his efforts.

Re Ed'n'Emmur I'm wondering if they have awarded them the house only to find out that "affordable" is going to be too expensive as its a percentage of local similar property prices rather than affordable by normal understanding.

So ... Yeah ...

Bum notes and septic tanks ... Whatever came over them at the SW meeting?

Have to say - if I were Russ ... Well, wouldn't you? Lily's much too bolshy, while Lizzie is all weak and vulnerable atm.

By the way - a few misapprehensions on t'thread lately. I've been too polite to say.