Quelle surprise! Rob hasn't FOTTFSOF and is in fact hiding in the bushes at Henwee's school. Discuss the latest unlikely Archers events here.

[PseudoBadger]

What do we want?
Realistic storylines!
When do we want them?
As soon as the writers see this!

Well obviously Lillian was morally right to tell Helen. But it was very unprofessional and Justin will see it as a personal betrayal too. Double whammy. Interesting possible whistle blower story line?

I don't think Henry did know. He wouldn't have spotted the nuances of H+R's relationship at the beginning - that it was new. By the time he knew Rob, R was, practically straight away, being presented as a Daddy figure and performing that role. So no different from a dad who'd been posted overseas for a year, parents who'd got back together, or something.

Just seen on Twitter. This is great.

I can't remember if Henry knew, I think my listening was patchy at the point at which you'd expect them to start mentioning it. But definitely it would be normal (and strongly advised) for someone conceiving that way to be completely open about it from before the child is even really asking questions. There are picture books about different types of families for example. I can't remember how old Henry was when Rob arrived.

Was he 2? In the BBC article about Rob's Facebook chat the other day, he mentions having four wonderful years in TA, and Henry is 6 now.

Also when Helen was in prison we know full well what type of poison Rob would have dripped into Henwee's ear. I can imagine him saying Grandma Pat is coming for tea tonight setting the table, and Henwee being let down again. Rob manipulated everyone.
The train trip - mummy let him down, daddy didn't.
Drip drip drip. Helen needs to get Henwee some proper help, and sit down with her family and discuss it, so they are all approaching it from the same viewpoint.
No wonder the poor boy is confused.

Yes redshoes I said earlier that Henry needed to be helped and it should've happened as soon as the courts said he wasn't allowed to see his 'daddy'.

There's a lack of sensitivity on Helen's side But she is aware (the conversation with Kirstie showed it ) and Pat tries but doesn't get it right. Why doesn't Helen go on line and or get a book about how to approach the subject with the poor little boy?

And Or get him CBT with a professional. (A good one).

Loved Lynda's mention of the TA's version of Alastair Corday's guide to B&B's .

A bit weird Lilian getting antsy with Eddie about something the whole village has been gossiping about for months.

There's a lack of sensitivity on Helen's side But she is aware (the conversation with Kirstie showed it)

Helen said "he's so cross ... won't do as he is told ... does he blame me?"
So Henry doesn't like the usual controlling tendencies. And Helen makes it all about her. Ugh. Poor boy.

Also it's interesting that both Pip and Kirstie have mentioned that `Henry's been through so much."

Do we think that Helen is so insensitive because sub consciously she knows that she's to blame for the whole debacle?

Do we think that Helen is so insensitive because sub consciously she knows that she's to blame for the whole debacle?

Women are not to blame for abusive relationships. Their abusers are.

Helen wanted the happy ever after / perfect family unit but chose the wrong guy. She's having enough trouble admitting what problems she volunteered herself for, without also admitting that she also inflicted the situation on Henry too.
Her vacant, dreamy, passive mood throughout has been weird. Almost as if she ignores everything then her troubles will go away. She is now applying this to Henry. An ostrich mentality.

"Do we think that Helen is so insensitive because sub consciously she knows that she's to blame for the whole debacle?"

In what way is she to blame?

She's having enough trouble admitting what problems she volunteered herself for

She volunteered herself for nothing. Abusers make you doubt and second guess everything. They brainwash you.

Hobby we've had this discussion before. Yes, Rob is the abuser and the abuser is wrong. But Helen had a million chances to exit the situation and didn't take them.

Henry needs help (I mean, yeah, even Pip mentioned how much he's been through) - but so does Helen. She's rejecting it, wanting to keep the control she's regained, but surely that's a brittle veneer?

Worked in DV for over a decade. That's still the fault of the abuser not the abused.

The psychological complexities and control in one of these relationships is truly staggering. I've known women not even know if it's ok to go to the toilet without the say so of their abusive partner.

It's like Stockholm syndrome.

I can't believe that there are still suggestions that a woman in an abusive relationship is to blame somehow.

Yep. All Helen's fault.

I think she can be blamed for not thinking of Henry at all when she rushed to move in with rob. She prioritised her need for a relationship. The abuse started after that point IMO

However, whilst the abuse obviously wasn't her fault - I should imagine she still blames herself. Isn't that what all parents do when something bad happens to their child?

If she were real that is

The abuse started after that point IMO

The abuse of Helen, you mean?
I agree with "she can be blamed for not thinking of Henry at all when she rushed to move in with rob. She prioritised her need for a relationship." She ignored how Rob treated Jess, ignored the fact that he was still married to her. Helen is no innocent angel.

Tbf, I don't think Helen could have seen the abuse of Jess as she was around very little

Even if Rob had been the nicest guy in the whole world, I would not have commended Helen's actions in moving him in so quickly, the whole 'jewelry making' stuff, the demanding that her parents like him or fuck off out of Henry's life, the getting Henry to call him 'Daddy' so fast, the shagging him whilst he was married to Jess...

She's not to blame for being abused, obviously, but she behaved in a way that I would find troubling long before there was any suggestion (to her, at least) that he was a wrong 'un.

Yes agree. I hope if she ever falls in love again she is more realistic about it.

Although again, that was done before they had decided on an abuse sl

Bloody hellfire

I think now is the right time for me to leave this thread. I hope no victims of abuse are reading it.