Come in to The Archers thread - we've redecorated! Take a seat in that distinctive yellow chair and discuss events in Ambridge.

[PseudoBadger]

New thread for tonight's episode.

Do you like the decor then? My 'personal' assistant did it.

TA audience figures up

Something else for SOC to boast about.

De-lurking

Helen was really getting on my wick this evening until the part where she admonished herself "I gave my son away ... He's Rob's son now ... I'm never going to get him back". I found it heart-rending.

I can't stand Pip and Ruth always banging on about bovine matters. In fact, I don't like farming stuff on The Archers

When I listened I often used the listen again feature but I'd fall asleep before the end of an episode and so have to listen twice (or maybe even three times). I wonder if they record the number of playbacks or simply the number of different devices the episode was downloaded by?

I agree Floss. It was only too true as well, as many people on here pointed out at the time (ie when she gave him PR). I don't think it is victim blaming to be irritated with Hellin - she actively pursued Knob in the early days and was deliberately determined to ignore all the naysayers just to prove everyone else wrong and herself right. She has always been irritating - I think we'd all forgotten just how irritating in a rare burst of sympathy for her, but now it's all coming back. She pig headedly refused to listen to reason at the start of her relationship and now she is just as pig headedly refusing to see any of her family while in prison.

So, you're saying while Tom has a head for pigs, Helen has a head like a pig's?

I can hardly bear to listen to TA these days. Pat, Tony, Helen, David, Ruth....they're all driving me potty. I want to give Helen a good shake.

Where's Kate? I want to hear the progress with her eco-reiki-glamping business.

Are we supposed to believe that Kirsty - who must know about Henry - is sitting back and doing nothing? Or is she going to come bursting out of the woodwork like Superwoman with Jess in tow, and with one bound Helen will be free?

By now every single resident of Ambridge should have knocked on the Bridge Farm door, offering their help and support.

Where's Joe with his rural aristocrat brand of comfort I'm sorry for your trouble Missus - I ent never taken to that Rob Titchener. Young Helen Archer's been lookin' right peaky since she was wed; hair all scraped back and them fusty clothes. And Emma says she n Helen don't go out no more, nor 'ave the kiddies playin' together - not since he put the kibosh on any fun ... I know we Grundys 'as had our ups and downs - but you and Tony's always treated us fair; took Clarrie back after that Eco whatsit and found work for our Ed ... T'ent right. Lovely young girl like that - locked up cos of 'im. Well. I carn even say "if there's anything I can do" - cos there ain't. But you tell 'er we're think'in' of 'er. Poor little Henry. T'ent right ...

Or something like that.

"By now every single resident of Ambridge should have knocked on the Bridge Farm door, offering their help and support."

Unless they've been reading Mumsnet, where the prevailing advice always seems to be "Keep away, if they need help they'll ask for it"

But I am amazed that people haven' rallied round to do the work on the farm. And why is the shop still shut? And what about Fallon's income from the tearoom?

Brilliant Gruach! I could just hear Joe in my head.

I agree Lilian last night showed Helen in all her obstinate, refusing to listen to advice, glory.

Right. When the MN Collective takes over as Editor of TA (multiple jobshare) I am pencilling Gruach in as a SW. I would like to be lead Nerd Archivist. Gussy can be adviser for legal matters and Small Legs for DV issues. DairyFarmersWife can be Agricultural Editor.

I propose a speedy resolution of the HelRob storyline (plausibility will take a back seat to urgency here) and we will then develop a programme of storylines for the next few years with a nice balance between agricultural topics (which I like, sorry DoesFlossfloss!), soothing village stuff like the Flower and Produce Show, the Christmas show, changecounting in the community shop, family-based developments (Alice and Chris should have a baby, for example, and I too want to hear about Kate's yurts) and the very occasional, carefully thought out bit of high drama - because they do happen in every community from time to time.

Brookfield will trundle on, centre stage but low key because frankly the Brookfield Archers are rather dull, Bridge Farm will be prominent because they're an interesting family (in a car crash kind of way) but not dominating everything else, Home Farm will get more airtime because a lot of the best and most amusing characters/actors are there and the rest of the village will also get a look in.

Casting: Pip will be re-cast or go silent. The Farebrethren will develop more distinctive voices or be re-cast or leave. I'd see if old Tom would like to come back. No new actor will ever appear until we are satisfied that he/she has a voice that is quite distinct from all the other regular actors.

Our watchword will be - CHARACTER-DRIVEN.

OK, who's going to fill in the application form?

I'd go along with most of that, but I'd like a moderately long drawn-out resolution of HellRob with all of Rob's chickens coming slowly home to roost, one by one. Call me sadistic, but I'd like to see every element of his facade being thoroughly ripped away.

Awwight!

To do list

1. Re-cast Henry.

Jess needs to turn up ASAP and get the whole ball rolling. I'm bored now of this stupid dragging out of the dramatic denouement which was totally predictable.

Pip needs to be trampled by her cows and I want these cows to be more ruthless than the bull that gored Tony. I can deal with David and Ruth in mourning if it means I never have to hear pip again.

Helen can stay in jail, refusing to speak to anyone, for all I care. Pat can get done for interfering with a witness (Kirsty, Henry) and end up in jail too. Also silent forever. Bridge Farm can pass to Tom.
Rob can go back to Hampshire, pick up a new wife and start his tricks again. He will be caught this time and we will hear about his come-uppance from a distance.
Ruth and Pip will emigrate to NZ. Ben will grow up, find a voice and turn out to be an acceptable successor to Brookfield.
There. That's sorted for the next twenty years. Over to Gruach the scriptwriters.

Can I join the Business Adviser sub-committee, please?

I'll give you all a glowing reference.

the first prosecution for CC

A suspended sentence.

First prosecution for CC: and the problem only came to light when it escalated to violence.

gumpendorf

The Hellin actress pregnancy was mentioned a few weeks back and others have repeated it. I've just done the same without checking as mn threads are a far more reliable source apparently as I should have done.

r4 says above
How do we know Louisa Patikas is pregnant?

I wish to call in my defence, m'lud, a certain Ms ljkk of Ambridge who said on 17.04.16 "Louiza Patikas is on maternity leave hence why Hell is so quiet, I understand. We'll hear from her again in 6-10 months I suppose."
Over to you ljkk

I want to hear village gossip, pennies dropping, people sharing their stories of Knob's knobbishness.

Instead we have the yawningly predictable "build up" to the court hearing. I bet Helen won't say anything useful until the very last minute. In fact wouldn't be surprised if she just pleads guilty at this rate!

Gruach Brilliant!

I don't mind Helen refusing to have visitors and not telling us anything. What I object to is listening to her refusing to have visitors and not telling us anything.

The right to silence makes for very boring radio.

It is also extremely boring having financial matters discussed in detail, but no mention of prices. How much do these cattle cost? Just say what you paid, and then Mumsnet can work out your profit margins.

Totally agree, choccyp1g - and the idea of Pip out-foxing a notorious businessman to get an awesome deal is just fatuous.

choccypig it does indeed

Perhaps next week we can listen to people doing silent meditation at Kate's retreat.

Re. The CC prosecution. whilst that sentence is about what I'd have expected I think it must be very important to both victim and perp to have someone say yes he really did do that and it really is wrong. Because she probably thought it was her fault and he probably thought it was her fault. still furious with SOC for muddying the waters of blame

There was one decent bit of writing I thought in the whole Hel thing when she said I have been so weak so stupid and I gave him my son or words to that effect.

they could have left all the rest out

IME that's a very common reaction. I have been so stupid. I let this happen. I let my kids down. Why did I do that?? (Self victim blaming) but that one little bit of decent writing is getting lost in all the white noise and tedium generated by the legal battle. SOC didn't need to put her in prison to show the survivors of DV feel guilty. Fear, Obligation, Guilt. It's what DV is built on.

(Just trying on my DV advisors hat for size and hoping to be redundant soon. I'd like to advise on Lillian knitting sl instead)