The Archers - It's so much more than just a soap. It's a bloody drama!

[PseudoBadger]

Will it still be Sunday tonight?

That "stupid boy no" was not meant to be there

I want someone to write a scholarly piece on how, now that the real TA scripts are disappointing us, all the listeners are resorting to their own scripts / fanfic.

All the poems are v.g.

I love the poems. Agree, Notdead, levity is much needed.

Every episode it is as if I'm experiencing it with my own family. Churning stomach and all.

From Tom:

Though you were injured by my sister
I am fairly sure you pissed her
Off, because if I know Helen
There are secrets she's not telling.
Did you really think I'd missed
The purple bruising on her wrist?
You claimed you worship her, but please!
The car! The shop! The clothes! The cheese!
I noticed that she'd not being seeing
Much of Kirsty, nor of Ian.
As for the crazy claim you caught her
Scalding her son with his bath water
It isn't something I believe.
I wish I'd told her she should leave.
My familiy's suffered quite enough
With John, Greg, and that bull and stuff,
When you next talk to the police
Make the prosecution cease
Or, with no regard for any regs
There'll be Titchner meat in my new scotch eggs.

That's a masterpiece Jasper - but they are all wonderful.

Arse. I spent ages on that and forgot to correct the typos before I posted.

I wonder if the Titchenors necessarily will want SOK? Might they regard him/her as tainted by Helen's alleged insanity?

still not listening

got Vaughan Williams on r3 instead

reading your fabulous poems. With toast

[need a thumbs smiley]

Legal question: now H has been charged, will she be allowed bail? After all, Oscar Pistorius was.

And if she is bailed, is it likely she would only be allowed supervised contact with Henwee?

The decision on bail would be down to the court. The prosecution could oppose bail on the grounds of seriousness of the offence, possibility of influencing witnesses, maybe even a suggestion that she's potentially dangerous to herself and the baby - though they'd be in difficulty with that having decided she was fit for interview. However, they could get round a lot of that with bail conditions. I suspect that initially at least she'd only be allowed supervised contact. I fear there's a real danger that Knob would be allowed custody of him when he recovers.

Bail is discretionary on several factors. Flight risk. Harm to self or others. Intimidating or influencing witnesses, and crucially, the charge. A serious charge like attempted murder would be dubious imo.

Thanks both. She was up before the magistrate this morning so, unless it's still yesterday in SOCworld, we might find out tonight.

And now, another card. From Ambridge Organics.

We note that you are still alive
Enclosed is your P45

Fantastic, Bore!

Surely tonight time will be found in the script to hear the reactions of Helen's friends and associates, even if only at second hand?

Ian? Emma, Nic (formerly her friend) Anya (from the old shop) And what about Oliver who is/was involved in a joint business enterprise with her?

As I think someone mentioned above - it may cause problems for Johnny. I wish I could write the episode where Sharon steams in to retrieve him from the den of iniquity and does a handflick at Pat.

These poems are genius!
I especially liked the knobicide

I hope so Gruach - I'd really enjoy hearing the reactions from everyone.

StrapOnDodo your name has made me and and

Your poems have made my day!

You lot are fab

Jasper - your poem was wonderful, like one of Roald Dahl's revolting rhymes, loved "the car! The shop! The clothes! The cheese!"

Seconded.
I loved the Off being on next line. Work of genius.

Thirded!

Fourthed

Just saying in case anyone reading this thread is staying with a FW in case he gets the kids. They very rarely do (alrhough it is worth gathering your evidence)

SmallLegs Of course, you're right. I'm just so incensed and disheartened with the way this SL has gone I'm struggling to see any light at the end of the tunnel. My post was hardly more bloody helpful than the SL

Perhaps Bert Fry himself will be inspired to write a narrative poem on the subject to perform at his garden opening.

Jasper that poem was brilliant!

Bert Fry, you say?

My Freda said Rob was a pervert
And up to no good in that culvert
How sad that no one listened to her..
..The perils of being a silent character