Game of Farms: The 4 Houses of Ambridge. Bleak House, Boring House, Sitcom House and About to Breach the Terms of Their Tenancy House.

[PseudoBadger]

Never mind the yoghurt - who is making the Sterling Gold?!

Old Tom would have handled rob much better. New Tom doesn't seem as attached to his sausages

Cod psychology here but I would assume rob is desperate for his mothers positive attention but never gets it and she is controlling to the extent he's desperate to control every other woman in his life. Still makes him a fucking knobhead though so not really sure if we need to understand his motivation

Excellent point R4 - if Blossom Hill can acquire a a new bedroom just like that then anything is possible. KD will probably tweet a clarification later (Twitter has become like a new Amex)

Oh yes - tweet will clarify that in all the silent time an extension was built on the side of blossom making it a 6 bed des res. Cos there are loads of builders around after the flood and all

Rob probably has HWMNBN living in an outhouse and building a hunting lodge in the Blossom Hill garden so he can invite Justin to stay.

Did we clock the reference to Knob having bought Helen loads of stuff for Valentine's Day? All paid for by Piggoi, no doubt, and designed to test whether Helen dares to challenge his spending. As for the enormous maternity dress - are we all picturing a massive tent?

Is he baddie enough to have minions?

Re dress - I was picturing lady di in some of those eighties horrors

So she had to return the maternity clothes she chose herself and bought online as they were too expensive and tarty, and now she has to wear the maternity burka dress he chose.......nice.

Also, if she's never allowed out of the cottage or to do anything she doesn't need a dress, T shirt and leggings would be fine if all she's doing is "resting". Depriving her of clothes might stop her trying to go out, didn't he think of that? I now have visions of a naked pregnant woman trying to climb out of the window and run down the road to escape......

T shirt and leggings, Trojanhorsebox? What are you thinking of? Far too clingy. Helen must wear something that covers her from neck to ankles without touching anywhere in between, in a nice thick winceyette material that will make her look like an OAP from a 70s sitcom.

He is the BREADWINNER so he gets to chose how money is spent.

Just like he is SHOP MANAGER (MAT LEAVE).

Exactly my thoughts as well Iorek.

He wants to keep Helens family away as well as minimise any time she has alone with Henry. The best way he has of doing that is get someone else in. The only person he has is his mother. Her purpose is to be an obstacle. An excuse for Helen not to go anywhere. No popping round with Henry to see Pat as that would be rude when they have a guest, can just hear him saying it! So she'll have to stay at home and play hostess.

Maybe Rob is subconsciously trying to correct whatever it is he thinks has gone wrong in his childhood, with an older brother who was preferred over him. He seeks to control Helen in a way he couldn't manage with ursula and has cast Henry in the 'miles' role.

Or as Ursula hinted he's recreating the relationship between his own parents.

He's also a dick.

R4's right. Anything could happen now.

The worst is that I think the SWs are going to do as Gypsy described and turn Rob into poor misunderstood person.

Is Miles the older brother? I got the impression Rob was?

Is knob the older or younger brother?

De lurking briefly to say that the implausibility of the development of the storyline and the continual inconsistencies are really pissing me off. Who knows where anything is going any more when the SWs don't seem to even know their characters? And while I'm ranting - please replace Henry with a real 5yo, not a child who has only just learnt to talk and bring back the old Pip. This one sets my teeth on edge - sounds about 40 but has modified her speech (probably after some feedback workshop) to try and come off as 'youthful' which, for some strange reason includes deeply inhaling through clenched teeth after almost every sentence. And why does Ruth always sound like she's picking up something heavy whenever she speaks? Lastly, I don't believe Jolene is really called Jolene - had anyone ever heard of that as a name before Dolly Parton? Until then, it would have only been associated with facial hair bleach and not really a name you'd have bestowed upon your daughter.
OK, rant over.

As you were.

Re pip - she sounds continually out of breath now. Even when Matthew isn't around so she can't even indiscreetly blame it on excessive shagging

Miles is the older brother, according to a quick search on Lowfield.

While I'm here - Wicker Heifer

I loved that Grumpy
Definitely yes re Henry, he is so awful. There was even a rant on last week's Dumdeedum about how terrible Henry is (sorry to always mention dumteedum on this thread! I should do their PR...)

Also not keen on Toby but his line about P&M snapchatting their bits was the perfect antidote to Pip and her "I'm more than soppy about you" bleurgh...

Isn't Jolene her stage name?

Horsewoman! You should have been on the very first of these threads (someone else can give you the date) when some clever person asked the quiz question "what was Jolene's real name?"

I've forgotten the answer.

I wish Henry would stop with his feckin drawings as well. Unless they are leading up to a 'hello grandma pay, here's a drawing of mummy making herself sick in the toilet while daddy stands over her telling her how worthless she is'

Doreen......

Jolene's real name is Doreen