We love Charlie. But we want Adam and Ian to get married. What will happen in Ambridge in the pre-Christmas thread?

[PseudoBadger]

Just listened to Friday - we are 2 weeks from Christmas and David didn't even ask whether Ruth will be back by then?

have just looked at the plarchers (fab) and been reminded of Lynda's word...
bijouterie

Ruth = Shirley Valentine.
Was fed up of talking to the wall....

Oh, and has David entered the parallel universe that is Bridge Farm finances. He merrily pays off the help that wasn't needed when Pip decided not to go to MegaDairy, he pays for help to cover whilst his wife goes off on a jolly, he pays for the AI man to do a job that Ruth can do for free, he bails out his brother to the tune of tens of thousands of pounds ... and then goes to the bank to extend his overdraft (note: not ask for one, but extend an existing one).
He is talking about getting out of dairy when only last year they were going to invest hundreds of thousands in a new parlour and equipment.

Will these silver stars not draw attention to the...erm...well...sensitive parts of Susan?

Oh dear, Joe. Please, please don't die yet. Who will Eddie sing his folk songs with? The cider club won't cope without Joe.

Poor, brave Ben. Silently sobbing into his crunchy nut cornflakes I bet.

Peggoi is mean as a snake about Chris's baking. No need! So public. Horrible.

Why does she have to be good before he'll bring her soup? Oh he just makes my blood boil. And Pat! What the hell?! Has he cast an obedience spell on her? Hypnosis? Drugs? Simpering away like a teenager with a crush. Bloody ridiculous. Yes Rob, no Rob, three bags full Rob. Tchah!

They were full of plans for expensive equipment not so very long ago. Perhaps Ruth has learned some new farming method in NZ which is going to save Brookfield.

I suppose no one's going to set eyes on Helen now until at least Saturday by which time she could be very ill.

Surely the stars can just be peeled off? If one were so inclined...

Weren't last year's robot plans based on Justin's prospective money?

Did the continuity announcer suggest steaming them off.

Weren't last year's robot plans based on Justin's prospective money?

Yes, but if you had capital to invest - wherever you want - then wouldn't you put it in a profitable enterprise? So one minute milking is the best thing to be in and the next minute they are trying to get out of it.
I don't believe David's sudden rush to get out of dairy. I'm sure that it would be a more considered decision than it is being portrayed.

There's a lot of TA that I don't believe atm. My disbelief has been well and truly suspended.

What has happened to Adam and Ian? Are they just sitting in silence at home?

I think it will be Bert who dies- he is more loseable- or Christine becuse of eating too much of her gritty pastry; she is a bit of a non-character anyway, no point to her.

Is Helen going to be seriously ill- will the cold develop into something awful?

And when the new woman steps out of the play at the last moment, will Linda step seamlessly in?

David's ire is finally raised when his business partner is on the other side of the world and they have important business decisions to make.He sounded less concerned when his wife wasn't coming home for Christmas. That sounds like a marriage that has run it's course.

I do have some sympathy for Ruth and her mid-life crisis but running away to NZ is ridiculous. Although my theory is she's not shagging Ray but his ripped (is that the phrase?) and fit son - hence the reference to Ray and his family when she spoke to David. Ray is just another version of David.

PatBot is annoying me. And I used to like her.

If you have the Christmas Radio Times, you will see the answer to Lulu's question in photographic form a few pages in! Quite a shocker. The actors concerned are all very brave and in very good nick. Nobody would pay money to see me posing in the buff, even with considerably bigger buns in position!

So one minute milking is the best thing to be in and the next minute they are trying to get out of it.

Ah, I get you. It was only earlier this year wasn't it? So the robots would have been sitting idly by, playing chess and drinking tea. How long have they been losing £14,000 a month? Are they selling as much as ever but just facing falling prices or is the milk not being bought? Are there no other uses for milk? Or no other outlets?

What robots?

robot milking parlour

It has all come out of the blue somewhat - is this because Ruth does the paperwork and David has only just put the last years figures together and noticed?

They could start up a 'Ruth's Fresh from the Farm Rice Pudding/Custard/Clotted Cream' business.

Gasp0de Adam and Ian in the nude in the Radio Times! Or Bert and Christine!

'Ruth's Farmhouse Kitchen Desserts'
'Grandma's Kitchen Puddings'
'Brookfield Farm Desserts'
'Pip's Puddings'

Creamy Rice Pudding
Curd Cheese Tarts
Fresh Creamy Custard
Cheesecakes
Creams and Brandy Butter
Creme Caramel

etc

Listening on catch up - WTAF is happening with the person who plays Jill she sounds on the constant edge of hysteria!

I thought - given some of the posts on here about family traditions - that Rob wanting to create his own memories and traditions was funny!

On the edge of my memory - didn't Jill and Phil do B&B when things were tight? I seem to recall Lynda assuring someone that the new Ambridge Hall overnight catering wouldn't take away from anyone else's business.

Not that that would make any difference to Brookfield's current finances obviously. But is Tobes right - are they really in a post technological era? There are times one sees wine that's cheaper than bottled water; surely the conglomeration of chemicals in milk might be useful for some industrial process? (Time for my © icon?)

Does Brookfield not have an accountant? I assume (please someone knowledgeable correct me if wrong) that at least some parts of the business are VATable. Don't they have holiday cottages or am I imagining that? Because if they did, they'd be making quarterly returns, and unless someone else does them and they choose not to look at the figures, they'd know what they're doing on a quarterly basis. Assuming they return VAT when I do, their last return would have been for July-September, so assuming (again) they'd done it at the earliest in October, the fall in income shouldn't have been so gallopingly apparent.

I don't see how these figures can have come as news. I can see that D&R could have chosen for whatever reason to ignore them until David was brought face to face with them when he went to the NFU meeting.

Like I say, it's all too implausible. It's a bit of an insult to the intelligence of their audience really.

Gruach - the Swiss invented a drink called Rivella (delicious, sparkling drink) to use up their excess milk. It failed when they tried to sell it in the UK, but maybe Pip and the Fairbrethren could rebrand and relaunch their own version?