Is that a ferret in your (Gr)undies or are you just pleased to see me? Discuss The Archers vermin (so many possibilities!) here.

[PseudoBadger]

I'm not sure that ferrets cannot through a thumb sized hole - rats can, and mice can fit through a pen sized hole. But I know the SWs will have researched such a statement carefully

Oh but she will CTA. Preggers, then Jess will turn up.

Not sure that can be the end of that yet. Assuming Rob didn't forge the letter, then I think that both he and Jess have been gambling. They did sleep together on that Valentine's night, but he wasn't the only one. Jess took a shot at him first - presumably easier as they're still married - he didn't want the test because he didn't know the outcome but once the deductions were being made his hand was forced so he had to take his gamble and appears to have won. Jess can still cause trouble if she has proof that he could have been the father rather than it just being her shit-stirring.

hmm, an interesting hypothesis, certainly explains his behaviour, but do we have any hints that Jess had another partner?

But if the letter was the original and he had any doubt about how it was going to go then how could he open it in front of Helen so calmly?

The only hint that Jess slept around was one of Rob's tirades, which of course is totally unreliable.

As to the calmness - well, if he'd had the opportunity to forge it then he'd have had the opportunity to steam it open and check it anyway. The forgery idea doesn't fly for me because there's no way he could hope to get away with it.

I think he believes he has Hellin just where he wants her - under the thumb and adoring. Ergo he can tell her whatever he likes and she will lap it up.

Although to be honest i don't think the SWs have the staying power or subtlelty to make this a long term DA storyline

Wonder if the father will turn out to be another Ambridge resident.

Harrison?
Jim?
Brine?

Or who was the guy who played cricket? And what happened to him anyway?

But why are we having to speculate on Jess's sex life at all? There's been no hint, other than one of Rob's rants, that she has slept with anyone else. There is absolutely no point at all in a negative result because negative means the whole story of Jess's baby has been a complete waste of time which could have been usefully spent tying up some of the many loose ends that have been left lying about all over the place.

Was it to show that Rob has a vicious temper? We've already seen that with the hunt sab and Jim.
Was it to show that Helen trusts him absolutely? We already know that.
Was it to show he's a good guy after all? It would take more than that to convince us.
Was it to show that Jess is as unbalanced as he says? We don't care all that much about a peripheral character who's been made more peripheral by a negative result.
Was it to show that he targets delusional women? Perhaps, but it didn't need a year's worth of baby story to demonstrate that.

If there had to be a story about Jess having a baby then it had to be Rob's baby for it to have been worth the effort and time spent concocting it. It has also been a cheap diversion from the far more subtle EA story.

Maybe there's a convoluted plot brewing whereby the conveniently returned Locke colluded in faking the test because he too has a paternity secret. (Eastenders drum beats.)

Mink's right. It was merely SOC indulging himself with 'let's write two endings then toss a coin'. I feel insulted and I don't think I've ever been so angry about anything in TA before, even poor Nigel's demise.

I don't think the baby storyline is over yet. I don't see how it could be - such a long, drawn out business, to end like that with one throwaway line? No, don't see it.

Unless it has been a SW personal gripe to show that sometimes the poor menz are victims of evil women who claim kids are theirs when they are not. TA is not exactly v friendly to a lot of the catering staff female characters

It has to be a teaser, surely? Unless the sense I have had for some time now of being completely despised as a listener by the whole Archer's establishment is real and not paranoia...........?

maybe we're missing the point; knowing he wasn't the dad Knob should have agreed to the test early on. It's the fact that he saw the baby claim as a control game that he had to win, that shows what a Bastard he is. It's part of the picture of his controlling EA that he would make a drama out of a minor issue. So Jess was out for revenge all the time, she's been taught by the best.

Yep I'm also going to very annoyed if the script writters have spun us all this suspense for nothing! They had better have a twist up their sleeves!

Yes good point, if he was always so sure about his innocence why not just take the test straight away? Because he cannot stand being told what to do by a woman, that's why. Helen is too blind to see how weirdly he's handled it all.

Still think there must be more to it though!

mink's catering staff

A forgery would make this SL way too ridiculous.

Bad things happen to bad people too - maybe Jess is as nuts as he says. We didn't really hear much from - not enough to know. Perhaps she was based on the gone girl book. Fact rob had a psycho ex doesn't change the fact he's a psycho!!

As for Jess telling Helen they slept together - only video evidence will convince her surely!!

Just when we thought we couldn't loathe Pip any more she goes and says she can't see the point in voting….. But looks as if we might be seeing the back of her soon as she jaunts off on her 'see the world' expedition. Heavy sighs of relief all round.

I understand the idea of "a control game that he had to win" but I'm not convinced. If it was between him and Jess, then yes. But work got involved and his (alpha male) boss had to take him to one side for an embarrassing conversation - I can't see that a victory over a (weakling woman) ex is worth that.
I also wondered if Dr Locke was in on it. He's been before an Ethics Board previously. But they can't land Shula with a dishonest, swab-faking doctor and a dishonest, blood-doping vet. Can they?

But stickerrocks' forgery exegesis sounds most likely IMO.

OK. New scenario...

Helen hies herself to the surgery to see Dr Locke.
'Rob is free of that awful woman and has a negative paternity test so we want to try for a baby of our own straight away. Should I be taking folic acid?' etc

Locke replies, 'But the result was positive.'

Locke is struck off for breech of medical ethics.

Except that lovely Richard specifically said he wouldn't be informed of the result.

Has H actually ever agreed to trying for a baby? Not sure she has.

The dr said he does not get the results. If R has forged it he should get on and pay thus taking work out of the equation. So the only way H could find out is via Jess or an unexplained financial black hole.

Oh Oh oh, me Miss, over here Miss! Finances will only come to light with any certainty if applying for a loan or mortgage. So plenty of time for that to unfurl. I am stop favouring the it really was negative SL tho

Meant still favouring that SL!!

Oh, drat. I forgot that.
Clutching at straws.