Is that a ferret in your (Gr)undies or are you just pleased to see me? Discuss The Archers vermin (so many possibilities!) here.

[PseudoBadger]

I'm not sure that ferrets cannot through a thumb sized hole - rats can, and mice can fit through a pen sized hole. But I know the SWs will have researched such a statement carefully

Ok so I've just tuned in to hear that NewPip is going to see the world. Hurrah.

But I've missed the letter ...was it not positive or is he telling a big fat lie?

Can't believe that, though did have a hunch we'd be surprised. Bloody Nob, i love to hate him !!

Do you think they did the Eastenders thing of recording two endings and only deciding at the last minute.
Toss of the coin: heads she is mad ....tails he's the dad.

He offered to show it to hell so it must be Real

I think we've definitely been Eastendered, Mink.

That's the damp squid to end all damp squids. (Good call BYOS.)

Pip is so annoying

Please can she go tomorrow?? Please can we not have everyone begging her to stay

Looking on the bright side, it looks like not much more Pip until she's been re-cast and we might not have to endure Jess any longer either.

I doubt we have seen the last of Jess.

oh boo- don't say that mink!!

Can but hope!

I wonder what was the point of the paternity saga.

Yay! I was right about NewPip! :o Now we have a year or so to forget how she sounds until we get EvenNewerPip.

Or OldPip back with her flouncing and shrieking

could he have forged it? would not be hard for someone with moderate IT skills?
(clutches at straws)

I dunno, Knob seemed too calm about that letter after stressing out so much in the doctor's waiting room. I fear SOC may have gone for the Eastenders tedious forged letter option.

Deffo forgery. He was far too unconcerned on opening the letter as he must have known that it could have been positive. Helen is too desperate to believe him to think it was fake.

It ain't over yet.

I HOPE

I too think forgery.

Though of course Jess would have to receive the real result, and the CSA, so the money would keep being deducted ....

I suspect we'll find out next week

...and Dr Locke did the test , does he get a copy of the results?

forgery would be worse than the SL of the paternity dispute (which we all hated from the off). Dr L does not get a copy of the results - he told R when he took the sample.

I'm with BYOS - lets get back to the actual story line of H&R

The real letter arrived on Wednesday when Helen had to take something to Rob. He was't delayed at work tonight by a livestock crisis, he was sorting out maintenance (or popping down to Hampshire to silence Jess). He faked the results using a look-alike letter based on the original which went in the post on Wednesday night, arriving today. That gave him the confidence to open it & casually give it to Helen. Please let my over-active imagination be right.

That can't be it surely?! All this build up for a negative result?

I had a noisy toddler when it was on so couldn't hear all if it.... do we actually know if Helen saw the letter herself? Or did Knob just open it and read it to her?

She's a bloody fool for not opening it before he got home!

I think forgery too. That's why he asked the Doctor who else would see the results.

He showed it to her, I believe.
Yes he could have made a copy.
But if it were positive, Jess will as a pp said turn up at some point to show the lie.

But if Jess does turn up, Knob will just tell Helen that she's deranged and that she's the one doing the forgery. Let's hope Helen has the sense to insist that they go back and ask the lab to confirm which version is the truth.

Yes I think he could have made a copy but the risk of Jess showing Helen the original letter is too real. I don't think even a huge bribe from Knob would stop her. Argh it just doesn't make sense!

I don't want Helen to start trusting him again and end up pregnant.