Come and play Grand Theft Combine through the quiet Ambridge streets. And by the way, ROB IS STILL MARRIED.

[PseudoBadger]

Bolloxfest is imminent. Will this thread make it to the big day?

I am trying to post again- sorry if my original went on but I can't see it!

So I have just got home from loxfest where I saw Roy. I told him I was going to post a picture of him here to show off his polyester glory and that he is a hottie. He was a bit confused but seemed pleased at the hottie suggestion. (actually it was a different festival but the rest is true!) I'll try to do it later but I also returned to the outrage that is the mobile site!

I like to think that one or both of the PSBs contacted the BBC to beg a scene with the incomparable Lynda, to bask in the pretence that she was overwhelmed to meet them while obviously it was the other way round. I mean, I've heard of the PSBs but Lynda is an institution!

Same thing happened with Sir Bradley Wiggins didn't it?

Do any of the slebs not do their scene with Lynda?

Wouldn't it be great if Freddie is so hacked off with Rotaboy that eh tries the hand in warm water thing, and Lizzie comes along, all ready to rip Rotaboy's striped polyester off his rippled body, finds a wet mattress and is turned off any hijinks.

Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

Oh God.

Eeurgh vom at the kissing noises. Roy and Lizzie are a ghastly combination.

at the smooching.

Feebs is going to crash and burn after her stellar GCSE results, isn't she?

No no no no no no!

(High five with SELKS)

What zero said- bastards the pair of you

You beat me to it zero. Couldn't agree more. I feel sick

How did Shula find out from the council about the planning application either on August Bank Holiday or before breakfast on Tuesday?

NONONO, I NEED BRAIN BLEACH. How could she.

well, not just she, Both of them. Poor Hayley.

Ooh, Ruth used her cross voice!

they are about to get caught, right?!!!!!

What a load of nonsense.

(Roy and Lizzie, I mean).

utterly selfish fools

Neil Nunes had it right - 'Go home, Roy!' - but frankly doesn't Hayley deserve better? What a nasty piece of work he's turned out to be.

Both selfish imo, Roy for wanting this affair and Elizabeth for stringing him along yet again.

Hope the sw's knock this one on the head and fast!

She leads him on then tells him that's yer lot -again. He's even less likely to back off now, isn't he?

What chance Freddie was having a crafty fag in the hayloft and witnessed that?

ohh that would put a twist on it. He'd have to admit he was smoking though if he said anything.

Wonder if she'll still wear the locket?

And was he wearing his high-viz jacket for the intended roll in the hay?

I missed it!

From the sounds of it I'm kind of glad I did! Could I have a little précis?

In other news - the Front Row presenter has discovered an important link between Kate Bush and Frank Auerbach. They both gave rare interviews to Front Row...

(But now I'm worrying that it might be hopelessly solipsistic to post this observation....)