Sexy sex on lovely legs, shearing sheep bare-chested. Tell us how you picture the good folk of Ambridge (and feel free to discuss anything else rural soap-related).

[PseudoBadger]

For me, that describes Ed. Some strange people think that it describes Jazzer.
Does it matter what they look like? We know and love their voices (except you Pip)

Well now I know that Roy is so hot (despite all previous thoughts the lovely carol has confirmed we were all in fact wrong) I suspect lizzie did only hire him on the grounds of his hotness and had this planned for a while. Did I mention that he's hot? Honestly the man is sex on legs. I'm amazed none of the other women folk have been trying to lure him into tents/yurts/caravans.

Doesn't fallon have a camper van?

Backpfeifengesicht

Roughly translates as 'a face in need of a fist'

That's fantastic. Off topic, but I'm enjoying thinking of a few nominees - Gove, Farage ...

Well, OK, I'll come back on topic and nominate Roy and Knob.

So do we think Roy barged in because he was worried Lizzie was getting too flirty with PC Gorgeous? It did sound a bit as if her reawakened awareness of the joys of shagging was making her look for more promising partners. Come back ifty, quick!

All together now... "I'm a creep, I'm a liar something something I don't belong here"
Hope they play this everytime Roy is on

Fallon has a van of some sort (the one that went to Edinburgh?), PC Plot had to rescue her on Route Bramble day. He suggested using it for the upcycling. Sounds like he's a George Clarke's Amazing Spaces fan instead of a Homemade Home man.

IIRC, Chris's forge is also mobile so that's a non-starter for Fallon's Fake Furniture.

whatever sort of van Fallon has, surely a Morris 1000 van would be smaller??? How useful could that be?

blog.cityvisitor.co.uk/blog/the-irony.html#.U9f7jmS9Kc0

So is he this one

england.all.biz/policeman-outfit-costume-g58585

Or this one

So weird you mention Postman Pat Petula - I agree (there you go - twice in a night). I always think of him whenever there is a scene with Plod and Fallon.
Another vote for the new thread title by the way.

thanks lil

i'd better call it a night - quit while i'm ahead!

So disappointed Roy of the Rotas hasn't actually resigned. And what does everyone think has happened to Vicky - has Mike done her in and is waiting to bury her under the new road? Is that how he really put his back out and is that why Bethany has been crying all night?

BTW, can someone square the circle of:
SL1: the property fairy finds Fallon some premises in Ambridge to catch all the passing trade
SL2: the council builds a by-pass.

Now that would be a storyline worthy of eastenders!

Lillian - the first rule of Pseudo's thread is we do not mention Him. You know, the un-handy handy man.
The second rule is we do not mention Her. That one who you just mentioned.
Lest they should return.

Hmmm.... Probably time for Mike's lovely spouse to have some carpentry work done in her kitchen. Just to keep up with the Aldridges.....

Fallon could probably do with a carpenter when she's kitting out her new tearoom.....

La la la la la la I can't hear you

And she will probably need a chirpy (brunmie) waitress who can fit shifts in around her child.....

I expect PC Harassment is an expert carpenter too and can fit out a tea room between helping Peggy get her lonely cat out of a tree and uncovering a terrorist cell in penny hassett

So no need to calm upon HWMNBN

Call upon

Can you get sacked from the police for moonlighting or is it only if it affects your performance?

He's really getting on my nerves because I can't decide if the SWs think this is how you portray the perfect guy or if they are going down 'psycho' route. Given we already have knobber and rotaboy that would seem a bit ort to have another weirdo boyfriend/husband.

Also dear fallon, there comes a point in a business where you actually have to think for yourself and not just spend your time painting tables. Has she actually come up with an original idea? Pc plot even had to choose her pitch didn't he?

And surely ambridge is small enough that the options for a tea room are easily listed and the owners asked?

Yes why was Harassment able to swan off to The Orangery whilst on duty?

Do we know he is actually a policeman and not a failed policeman who now lives it because he can't let go of the dream? Is he ever off duty?

Soz

I agree, Petula! (just like to be in with the in-crowd). That is an outstanding new thread title.

I very much liked the suggestion from an ingenious PP that Freddie should be sent so far off the rails by whatever he saw of the Lizzard/Creep clinch that he radicalises himself in his bedroom, disappears for five years and is next heard of wearing fatigues and a full beard and living in a cave in the North West Frontier province of Pakistan. Then poor old Ifty (who is third or fourth generation Pakistani and barely speaks Urdu, let alone Pashtun) has to saddle up and get out there to retrieve him. That would be an awesome Archers Awayday.

.... Except it would be Dan staging the intervention. Now that he's had all that training.