Sexy sex on lovely legs, shearing sheep bare-chested. Tell us how you picture the good folk of Ambridge (and feel free to discuss anything else rural soap-related).

[PseudoBadger]

For me, that describes Ed. Some strange people think that it describes Jazzer.
Does it matter what they look like? We know and love their voices (except you Pip)

I see Ian with the physique of a hard drinking rugby player who stopped playing five years ago

This is a brilliant, very evocative description!

It's also wrong, wrong, wrongitty-wrong, of course. My Ian is short and naturally a bit weedy, except all those years flinging heavy pans around has built him up a bit. He's got very short hair (not shaved, but very short) and stubble. I like Ian, btw, but bless him, he's a bit boring. At least he doesn't talk about his auntie so much.

Christine

OMG that really made me LOL with a snort (sorry) !!! psued I LOVE Auntie cardboard!! You're all soooo clever i was going to compliment the bunting maker at the end of the last thread Thank you for the new one btw. but this thread moves at such a rate I also luuurved the bunting, such fun !!!!

Poor Christine!

Have to admit Mimsy's brilliant, festive bunting was the inspiration for my own great work. (Because stupid laptop wouldn't copy and paste hers to our lovely poetic new thread...)

Oh, Lewis was supposed to be sharing the with Pseudo !

I see Zero has deconstructed my virtual bunting from the end of the last thread, although in the interests of health and safety I hadn't hung up cups of tea or glasses of wine.

Nice new thread!

I want to make a very important point. Debbie looks nothing like Tamsin Greig. Debbie is not nearly as tall, a good bit curvier and has thick, shiny hair like liquid honey (or she did when she was younger - I bet she has extensive professional work done on the colour now).

Shhhhhh! You are ruining itwith your descriptions!

See how I cunningly pre-empted a plagiarism charge....

Purely in your honour Mims!

You're right about Debbie. All the Aldridge girls share a similar, slightly edgy dairymaid look. (Brisk, high and hungover in descending order.)

Goodness! How have I only just noticed that Jenny and Brian have each (separately) produced an Irish child!

Wonder how closely (delicious) Adam resembles his dad?

Ruairi will look more like his ma every day.

Though Debbie is slightly more lengthy and angular as befits her heritage.

Came on to see if anyone else wondered about Jim's voice and so far only PB (or PseudoNadger as I typed first time -I'm not trying again!) has. What do you think?

It bothered me nearly as much as Selks' description of Jazzer. No, not in my head, though you're right about the others!

Mimsy you are exactly right about Debbie.

Isn't Adam a redhead? Ian is nondescript but his lovely nature makes him appealing.
Lizzie is like Kirstie Upcycled-Tat, distinctly on the rotund side but still with a waist. She clicks about Lower Loxley on kitten heels; Roy responds like Pavlov's dog to the sound. Hayley always wears cheap Ugg knockoffs from the market.
Brian is short, wears a cravat and little slip-on shoes with chains, and has more than a suspicion of Del Boy about him.
Lillian wears crisp shirts with the collar up, capri pants and Tods driving shoes. She smells of L'Air du Temps and Rothmans.
Helen - good call on Boden. She wishes Jonny still did those Fun Skirts.

I agree with Hellin in Boden (Bodin for Hellin?), but not fun skirts: too frivolous! Breton tops and tailored trousers, maybe. Nothing tight or revealing, particularly not under Wob's wegime.

Hazel is chubby and has dyed dark-brown/black hair which would be grey if she left it, but instead she has a shiny and regularly maintained bob, lots of red lipstick and a velvet coat.

Peggy a bit like the gran in After Henry.

Alice used to wear a lot of Jack Wills, then Superdry and Abercrombie. Long dark blonde hair in a messy bun. Pouty mouth hanging open with affected querulousness.

Lilian wears leopardskin print and has a cat's bum mouth from all the fags. Jennydarling probably still wears a striped shirt with the collar turned up under a navy crew-neck.

Hellin not only has a wicker heart above the bed, she also has a fridge magnet saying 'one more job until Gin time!' even though she doesn't drink gin.

Susan has twiggy shit. And a composite photo frame thing that has the words FRIENDS AND FAMILY on it. School photos of Gowurge in frames, and smaller ones of Keeeyruh and even smaller of Jake and Meeyur.

Pat and Tony have scrubbed pine table in kitchen for sighing over, with a squashy old armchair in the corner with a bit of knitting on the arm that's not going to get finished, and a cat asleep on it.

Jennydarling probably still wears a striped shirt with the collar turned up under a navy crew-neck.

Good lord, this is perfect.

Harsh Blue!

Hayley would certainly have upgraded her wardrobe when she started working at LL. She's probably a "Next" shopper. (So she can shop for herself and the girls all at once.)

Brian does wear cravats - but he would laugh at Gucci. Definitely not Del Boy; his parents were very well off and he's been rich for far too long to subscribe to "aspirational" brands just for the sake of it. His tweeds would either be made by his tailor or picked up from the local farm shop. His main indulgence is single malts in a price bracket I can only dream of.

Shocked at your image of lovely Lillian. She didn't formally spend all that time and money in London (and Underwoods) without having a much sharper appreciation of consumer goods than you give her credit for. (L'Air du Temps ) She would be a niche perfume buyer. What would she talk about to that woman they've gone on their hols with if she didn't have all the hottest info on the newest scents? And she only wears flats around horses....

Oh, the repeat has just been on in the background. Think it's the same Jim. Taking up an indefensible position.

"formerly" surely? Stupid laptop.

nonononono brian dresses like the men you see on the sidelines of rugby pitches near salisbury

Describe.

expensive but well-worn clothing, cravat/neckerchief, possibly coloured corduroys etc - shooting gear mostly

i was agreeing with you actually zero, my nonononono was to the delboy description

Jolly good!

No Lizzie is stick thin, causing worry periodically that her heart trouble might be back.

Same Jim. I am quite sure.

Of course, the last time I was quite sure about something like this I was 100% wrong.

Brian is pink trousers, check shirts and tweeds with stout boots for the farm and tasselled loafers for going out . Matt is similar but with a bit more shineyness about him.

Lillian is very glam, thin, immaculate highlights with the superb casual clothes description upthread. I think she would always smell of Chanel no 5 and mints, trying to mask the smell of stale smoke.

I think Helen would be in Next, loving that thanks to their vanity sizing she is a size 6.

Alan is round. All those cups of tea and cakes and sitting down to sermon write have played havoc with his waistline.

Lizzie is thin in Boden and The White Company. Love the idea of Pavlov Roy ...

I think Helen would find a size 6 roomy, surely?