Sheeping With The Enemy - in a brand new bed? Discuss the trials and tribulations of the Archers

[PseudoBadger]

Just don't be so careless with your watch Helen

True! I'm sure the roads around Ambridge are regularly clogged with Ocado vans beeping at tractors and swooshing past sheep. It's totally unbelievable that busy people women like Ruth and Jenny and even Nic would still be dragging themselves to the supermarket every week.

Hard to see how the village shop can keep going much longer.

It won't, Hazel will see to that

oooh, yes, Ocado - they should have Jesus in the cabbage van

Yes, Psuedo, I reckon there are going to be TWO villiains in the village at once...... the revolting Rob and the hideous Hazel, who is obviously going to try and oust the Grundys and Darrell, and then get rid of the shop and anything else she cannepalm.

Yes, we need more non farming folk, the Public Sector is massively unrepresented, so a PC, Fireperson, County Council worker , refuse collector, would be welcome, which was why Jess, as a Social Worker added a new dimension. However maybe Ambridge is just too expensive for those workersshafted by Cameronon a PS wage...

Why can I never do bloody strikeouts....

villains ffs

you need a space between your strikeouts & the neighbouring words, guineapig, like this (with // substituting for --)

workers //shafted by Cameron// on

I shall be Chunt Rob and Devil Bitch Hazel's BFF if they work together to bump off
Rooth
Day-vid
Peep
Jenny Darling
Brine
Piggoi
Cheese Queen
Emmur
Wilyum
Thick head Ed
Clarroi Luv
Lindy's annual panto
Soosan
Ne-yul
Darrell
Smug Shula
Peep, Bin, Jush
Tarty Jo-leeeen
Ken'non the Daddy Pig of the Archers. No one apart from Idiot Ed is thicker.
PS Could they resurrect Christine aka the Voice of Archers Reason??

Emma worked at Lower Loxley in the Orangery.

As for 'Do adult women really carry on like that' - don't ever open any of the Benedict Cumberbatch threads if you were cringing at last night's TA!

How could I have forgotten that?!

Yes, I now remember thinking that Emma's life might finally open out into something wonderful when she started working at LL. What happened? Did they run out of work for her or was it "events" that scuppered her dream job?

FunLovin Surely there's some other radio show you could enjoy? Perhaps soap just isn't your thing?

I'm not sure TA would work as a solo performance.

Of course... the Orangery! I remember her GCSE results were a bit of a let down to Susan and Neyul.

Fun Peep is so annoying you want her killed twice? Understandable.

I would also like moany Kathy added to your hit list. She manages to suck the joy out of any scene she is in. Certainly the Ambridge denizen (or Ambrigizen) I would least like to be stuck in a lift with.

ZeroSome IIRC Keira's birth scuppered Emma becoming the doyenne of Lower Loxley and Ed n Em's economic problems meaning they couldn't afford 2 cars or the childcare (i 'm not sure which) and she actually wanted to become a STAHM.

kathy was so infuriating when she was being bullied by martyn gibson last year, though that probably reflects how difficult it is working for someone like that. i had thought he was going to get his comeuppance at some point but that fizzled out, and now he has a new kitchen

I'm on the committee of one of the 'newer' WIs (in that we started last year and we're mostly in our 30s) and we had exactly that discussion about pole-dancing, so it was pretty spot on.

I think Emmur had got good marks in her catering NVQ, Susan used to crow about it. And I think the Orangery job came to grief when she realised the reality of low-paid work and childcare for more than one child. With the cleaning jobs she can take Kiera the evil toddler with her...

I disagree zero I have often argued that the Archers should just be set entirely in Jim and Jazzer's house. (or in Ambridge power couple style Jizzer) in fact while we are at it, rename it The Jizzers.

It would work well as an Odd Couple meets Death in Venice style setup. Christine would pop round occasionally and wonder why Jim hasn't laid the moves on her, utterly oblivious to the fact that he has a deep, yet unrequited love for Jazzer.

Perhaps a heavy steel extractor fan will drop on his head

at jenny deciding she wants a new kitchen just because she's got a dripping tap and a sticky drawer. Can't she get Darrell to fix it?

....I wouldn't object to a series comprising only Jazzer and Maurice (? Sausage man) ruminating on life and difficult ladies.

Funt are you me?? I love listening but hate pretty much everyone!!!

fun basically you have left the kids, the animAls, the vet and jazzer and Jim. are you killing Linda or just the pantomime?
Brenda, Alice(i want her dead) and the woman that works with Lillian and Matt. (she is good value and cpukd pop in to talk to Jazzer and Maurice)

Sounds like a winner. Were it not for the fact that you failed to massacre Moany, Pat, Hellin and sausage king.

Hmm if SW do take suggestions from this thread we are in for a major mass homicide. will pc burns cope??

Oh, Maurice Horton - I love Maurice! We should hear him more often.

Also Anthea - a wonderful yet sadly under-utilised character.

And yes yes to Dementor Kaffee sucking the life out of everything. I can visualise birds falling from trees and flowers dropping their petals as she passes.

The joy of The Archers for me is that I despise almost all of them!

Fun you have left Alistair? And Daniel? They'd be up against the wall before Brian and Jennydarling, for me. Though Brian is only let off because I enjoyed his storyline with Siobhan so much. (I so wish we would just once hear JD snapping at spending so much of her time looking after Roooaaaarrreee though).
Kathy is such a dementor, that is the perfect description of her!
Agree to Anthea, I want to hear her get involved in Lynda's next performance.

I work with a guy I call The Human Dementor. We work in an interesting field (archaeology) and he LIVES for it, but I swear to god, whenever he has to do a talk or presentation I want to string myself up!

That is Kathy down to a tee bore
I loved Nancy Banks Smith's description of Tony having a perpetual grey cloud above him Eeyore style